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Yahoo
15 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Caught between 'gentle' and 'FAFO'? Authoritative parenting is what actually works.
"Validating emotions doesn't mean letting your kid walk all over you." As parents, we're all just trying to figure out the best way to raise our kids, and there's no shortage of parenting styles that people swear by — from tough love to gentle parenting and everything in between. It can feel like you have to choose a side if you want to do things right: Should you be a permissive parent who is nurturing and sets few boundaries, or a strict parent with rigid rules that your kids must obey or else? But parenting doesn't have to be black or white. There's a sweet spot somewhere in between. In the 12th episode of their podcast, "After Bedtime With Big Little Feelings," Big Little Feelings founders Deena Margolin, a child therapist specializing in interpersonal neurobiology, and Kristin Gallant, a parenting coach with a background in maternal and child education, dive into what people often get wrong about popular parenting styles, and how a blend of both is best for raising confident, resilient and compassionate kids. In this edition of Yahoo's "" column, Margolin clears up some common misconceptions, including how some people confuse gentle with permissive parenting and how fear-based parenting falls short. Margolin also shares four practical tips parents can use to help them validate how their child is feeling while still firmly sticking to the boundaries they've set. If you're parenting in 2025 armed with a smartphone, you're probably caught between following two ideologies: on one side of the spectrum is gentle parenting, a child-led approach to attachment and discipline, and the other is FAFO (f*** around and find out) parenting, which is letting kids experience life and the natural consequences that arise. Search up parenting styles online, and you'll be inundated with videos saying that kids need tough discipline, followed by another one that says it's crucial to validate your child's every emotion. It's enough to make your head spin. Am I being too soft? Am I screwing them up? Do I need to be harder? What are we supposed to do? What kind of parent am I supposed to be? How do I raise a good, kind, resilient, strong kid? But here's the truth: Parenting isn't a tug-of-war between 'soft' and 'hard' — or at least it doesn't have to be. Decades of research show the extremes on both ends — permissive and authoritarian — don't work. The parenting style proven to raise the most resilient, empathetic and capable kids? It's one that blends warmth and structure. It's called authoritative parenting, and no, it's not 'weak.' In fact, it's the most powerful approach we have. Reframing some beliefs about parenting First, let's clear up some misconceptions about parenting styles: Gentle parenting isn't the same thing as permissive parenting. Validating emotions doesn't mean letting your kid walk all over you. Boundaries and warmth can — and must — coexist. Fear-based obedience isn't respect. When kids comply because they're scared, they're not learning self-control — they're learning survival. That's not resilience. Toughness comes from safety, not fear. The ability to take risks, bounce back and handle life's challenges grows from a secure, connected relationship — not from being yelled at or shamed. 4 practical tips parents can use today Here's how to bring warmth and structure into real-life parenting moments: Try the 'Connect Then Correct' formula: First, connect with your child by naming the emotion they're feeling ('I see you're frustrated we have to leave the park'). Then, hold the boundary ('It's time to go. I totally get why you feel mad, and I'll help you into the stroller.'). Swap threats for 'When/Then' statements: Instead of: 'If you don't put your shoes on, no TV tonight,' try 'When your shoes are on, then we can head to the park.' It keeps the tone firm but collaborative. This is a hack for when they're looking forward to doing something, which is a natural motivator. Keep boundaries short and predictable: Kids feel safest when the rules don't change based on your mood. Decide on key house rules, and remind them and enforce them consistently. Validate without giving in: You can address how your child is feeling while still firmly sticking with the limits you've set. For example: 'I get that you really want more screen time. It's hard when it's time to stop. The iPad is done for today; we'll have more tomorrow.' Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
Beverley Ladies Day: 'Ladies by day, devils later'
Every August hoards of women donned in colourful couture and flamboyant fascinators descend on the quaint East Yorkshire market town of Beverley for Ladies Day. While the racecourse sparks with glitz and glamour, some brace themselves for the aftermath. It's the stuff of street sweeper's nightmares. Stilettos are strewn on the kerbside. Overfilled wheelie bins plague the pavements, which are awash with empty pizza boxes and polystyrene takeaway food cartons. Each year thousands descend on Beverley Racecourse for Ladies Day, where women dress up to the nines from the hats all the way down to the high heels. "It's nice to just get dressed up and be glam for the day," says Jodie Crawford, from Hull. She sports a ruby red minidress with a matching handbag, fascinator and fluffy thong sandals. Alcohol forms a big part of the occasion, although Beverley Racecourse is keen to stress free water is offered at its bars. Management say staff also work closely with the town's pubs and bars, and they are in close contact with Beverley Street Angels - volunteers who help keep revellers safe. "It's very crazy," says Ms Crawford. "Obviously we've been drinking all day so it's a bit different. You go from being a lady for the day and then you go back and just let loose." For some, drinking begins at 09:00 BST and 12 hours later, the booze-fuelled carnage spills across the town, leaving an indelible stain on the streets. We see one woman attempting a cartwheel on the historic market cross. As the night draws on there are more chaotic scenes as the mirth and merriment turns even murkier. Another woman's arm is covered in blood and her friend is collapsed behind her in a ditch. Thierry Condette was baking late into the night in his French patisserie. Looking disgusted, he says: "When you see what's happening, it's unbelievable. "It's ladies day in the morning, but they're devils at night." He is cautious about opening the door to his shop on Lairgate and describes the outside frivolities as "a zoo". "It's not Ladies Day anymore. It is definitely something different," he says. While Mr Condette is not a fan, other businesses have been licking their lips to the sound of the tills ringing in the hat shops and boutiques which have seen roaring trades in the days leading up to the event. So too the pubs. After the last race finishes, the town's Saturday market sees hundreds queuing for the pubs. Aiden Hazlewood, the general manager of the Kings Head pub in Market Place, says his staff embrace the "full-on day" that comes with the event but he says they also brace themselves for the "carnage" that follows. "It's the biggest calendar event of the year for the locals, they love it, everyone comes here. "It's a lot of fun but it is carnage." Mr Hazlewood adds: "People forget how to [be] humans. Sometimes people will use the outside beer garden as a toilet and sometimes people even use the restaurant as a toilet." One resident says the areas around his property becomes a public toilet during the event. He tells us: "The last two years... people leaving the races have come down the lane, and basically it's young lads, urinating up against the wall. "They've even gone through my gate and urinated through there. They're just very, very drunk people." East Riding of Yorkshire Council teams waste no time in getting to work, clearing up after the revellers. A spokesperson said: "Our experienced street cleansing team undertakes the clean-up work in the early hours of the morning, drawing on many years of experience to ensure the Westwood area and town is quickly returned to its usual welcoming state. "Extra wheeled bins are positioned near the race course and routes back to town for attendees to use, helping to facilitate the clean up process." A Beverley Racecourse spokesperson added: "We want everyone to enjoy their day but sensibly." Listen to highlights from Hull and East Yorkshire on BBC Sounds, watch the latest episode of Look North or tell us about a story you think we should be covering here. Download the BBC News app from the App Store for iPhone and iPad or Google Play for Android devices Related internet links East Riding of Yorkshire Council More on this story Thousands enjoy day at Aintree's Ladies Day In pictures: Ladies Day at Royal Ascot Ladies' Day at Beverley racecourse
Fox News
2 hours ago
- Fox News
Taylor Swift's music gave Travis Kelce a roadmap on how to be her perfect boyfriend
Taylor Swift gave Travis Kelce all the clues he needed on how to be her ideal man. The 35-year-old Grammy Award-winning singer made her podcast debut when she appeared on Travis and Jason Kelce's podcast, "New Heights" on Wednesday. When asked why she chose to appear on the podcast, she joked, "This podcast got me a boyfriend ever since Travis decided to use it as his personal dating app." She continued, "This dude didn't get a meet-and-greet, and he's making it everyone's problem. That's what I thought at first... You realize he didn't even reach out to our management. He came with Pat [Mahomes] and he thought that because he knows the elevator lady, that he could talk to her about just getting down to my dressing room." Travis, however, credits the Eras Tour for getting them together, saying had he not gone to the show "and been mesmerized" by her on stage, "and then left with such a desire to want to meet you," he would never have spoken about her on the podcast, which is what ultimately led to their relationship. He also shared how being at the show helped figure out how to win her over. "I was sitting there at the Eras Tour listening to every single one of those songs being like, 'I know exactly what she wants me to do,'" he said. "I'm the luckiest man in the world." Travis famously spoke about seeing Swift in concert on a July 2023 episode of the podcast, and expressed disappointment that he wasn't able to give her a friendship bracelet he had made with his phone number on it. They began dating soon after, and that fall, she was seen at her first Kansas City Chiefs game – the rest is history. Swift found Travis' gesture to be "wild," but admitted, "I'm glad it worked." "I was like, 'If this guy's not crazy, this is sort of what I've been writing songs about wanting to happen to me since I was a teenager,'" she said. Swift explained that after Travis "did the full send on the podcast," different people in her life began "whispering in my ear about you," and telling her what a great guy he is. She went on to say the whole situation made her feel like she "was in an '80s John Hughes movie" with someone "standing outside of my window with a boombox saying, 'I want to date you!'" Since they met and began their relationship while she was on tour, a lot of their early relationship moments were spent in foreign countries, but Swift is happy to have some normalcy back in her life. "I was like, 'If this guy's not crazy, this is sort of what I've been writing songs about wanting to happen to me since I was a teenager.'" "We got to travel the world and have vacations and adventures when I wasn't on stage, which was really fun, because Europe was so fun, Australia's amazing, it was great," she said. "I was on tour for so long, and now I'm finally not on tour, and it's kind of great, because I'm getting my hobbies back." Aside from singing and songwriting, her many hobbies are what she considers to be "granny s---," which includes sewing, cooking and painting. "I'd say all my hobbies could be categorized as hobbies you could have had in the 1700s," she explained. "I have a different baking obsession every six months. Right now, we're very deep in a sourdough obsession that has taken over my life." "I'm always baking bread and texting my friends like, 'Can I send you some bread? I need some feedback. Do you like this one better than you like the other one? I did the rise a little differently,'" she later added. "I'm on sourdough blogs. There's a whole community of us, and I didn't know it." Both Jason and Travis seem to be enjoying her sourdough phase, with Travis calling himself "a lucky man," and Swift revealing he requested she send him two loaves while he was at training camp. It seems like Travis has even gotten in on the action, with Swift proudly stating he's also baked his own loaf, and, much to Jason's disbelief, it came out good. "His rose higher than mine," she said about Travis' bread. "His was actually more delicious than mine." Swift also announced the release of her upcoming 12th studio album, "The Life of a Showgirl," which is set to drop on October 3.
