Groom reveals common wedding tradition that offended his bride's 'unhinged' relatives - who compared the nuptials to a 'fundraiser'

Daily Mail​

25-05-2025

A groom revealed his wife's wedding guests were 'offended' and felt 'cheap' during their big day because of a surprising detail.
Taking to Reddit, the man, who is believed to be from the US, explained that he and his bride both make six-figure salaries and didn't ask for any gifts or money from their wedding guests.
The newlyweds even went to the effort of writing 'gifts are not required, your presence is the greatest present' on the the invitations to ensure there was absolutely no misunderstanding.
However, they did leave out a box for greeting cards on the reception table for any guests who wanted to wish them on their big day.
However the bride's relatives misconstrued it to be a 'subtle way to ask for money' and felt obliged to put cash and cheques into the card box - saying the wedding felt like a 'fundraiser.'
The post read: 'Relatives offended because our wedding made them feel "cheap".
'Just to give some context, my wife and I are very fortunate to both make six-figure (salaries). We had also lived together for a year before our engagement and wedding, so we already had all the household stuff we needed, and didn't really feel like we want to ask for more.
'So for our wedding, we purposely didn't have a registry, and, in our invitation, we specifically said "gifts are not required, your presence is the greatest present".
'We also did this to minimise the expenses for our guests, hoping as many of our friends and family would come and celebrate with us as possible.
'We do have a card box at the reception table, for guests to write [their wishes] and slide their cards in.
He continued: 'Apparently some of my wife's relatives thought it was a subtle way to ask for money (it wasn't), so they felt obligated to put cash and checks in the envelopes.
'Afterwards, my wife and I overheard them complaining to my [mother-in-law] that it made them feel cheap, like the wedding was a fundraiser, or a transaction.
'My wife almost burst into tears, so I step over and clarified that money was not asked or wanted. I offered to give them their envelopes back so they could remove their money.
'They refused since "what's done is done". Made the entire wedding awkward (for us and them, other folks had zero idea). Made me feel like no good deeds go unpunished.'
Many rushed to the comments to argue that a card box is 'very common' at weddings and does not mean you are asking for money.
One person wrote: 'Putting out a card box for a wedding is extremely common. Almost every wedding I've been to has had one.
'Giving money as a gift instead of a gift is pretty common, and usually expected. Your wife's family is unhinged.'
Another said: 'I was told by my venue I had to have one.'
Someone else added: 'Yep, many venues actually require you to put out a card box for the liability reason: guests WILL bring envelopes with money in them and there needs to be a clear and safe place for them to put them.
'Often the area where the box is put on a welcome table has a security camera pointed at it, even.'
A fourth added: 'Yup, I used to do event decor/floristry and we kept extra card boxes on hand for this reason.
'I think a lot of venues insist because it makes it less difficult to track down missing cards. It's kind of a "not very secure, but somewhat better than the alternative" security measure.'
Another added: 'Every wedding I've been to has had a box of some sort for cards. At no point have I felt like I must contribute (although I always do). This is very much a them issue.'
Others sugggested the couple should mail the money back to the guests or donate it to charity.
One person said: 'When you open the cards, mail the money back to each and every one of them.'
Another said: 'Yep just add a note saying you appreciate the thought but the box was for well wishes to be treasured in the future and not for the purpose they thought.
'That's it. I would have not clarified anything and done that as soon as I heard. oh you guys gave money ?
'Sorry that was for well wishes to keep. we misunderstood each other. with a big smile on top. I hope you had a great time and let's have other nice parties like that in the future! that's it!'
Someone else added: 'That'll make them even more mad. You can't win. I would donate to a charity of OP's and wife's choice and send the cash-givers thank-you notes letting them know.'