
How to fix MasterChef
The warning signs were there. Not only in 2001 when Lloyd Grosman, Britain's answer to Paul Newman (in pasta sauce endorsement terms if not acting), flounced off the show because, so far as I understand the dispute, a revamp dictated that contestants all use the same ingredient. But also in 2018, when now disgraced judges Gregg Wallace and John Torode managed to unify the whole of Malaysia in affront. For which feat, whatever their later sins, I salute them.
It was episode 13 of series 14 and Malaysian-born contestant Zaleha Olpin presented her beloved childhood favourite chicken rendang recipe, served with a side of nasi lemak, only for Wallace to complain the chicken was not crispy enough and for Torode to call the dish a mistake. Typical Malaysian response? 'As a Malaysian, if I could, I would personally go to the show and rendang their head,' wrote Jin Wee in the Star, a Malaysian newspaper, adding superbly: 'Uncultured swine, doesn't know variety of cuisine and claims to be MasterChef?'
As anyone who does know their rendang would tell the judges, its chicken isn't meant to be crispy. A former Malaysian premier complained Wallace had confused his nation's cuisine with KFC. The only winner in the dispute was the English language which gained a new verb, though beyond a slightly sinister aura it's hard to know what 'to rendang' means.
That's the problem: everyone's a critic and everybody involved has a very thin skin, and is apt to explode at any moment. Torode made matters worse by tweeting something emollient and ending his message with a cheery 'Namaste'. Didn't he realise that namaste is not a fitting Malaysian farewell, fumed naysayers? Some 9,000 signatures supported a change.com petition calling on him to apologise. Which, unless I've lost my mind and without wanting to make 9,000 enemies, is some loony woke nonsense.
And yet the debacle points up how fraught televised cookery is and how it risks becoming a lethal cocktail of chippy keyboard warriors facing off against the kind of unexamined man babies who, insanely, have been given access to the knife drawer. That purported genius chef from The Bear who locked himself in the walk-in fridge to have a nervous breakdown on his restaurant's opening night and Ralph Fiennes poisoning anyone who ever crossed him in The Menu are the leading exemplars of the latter. And those are just kitchen fictions. As we know from Gordon Ramsay, reality TV is apt to be a yet more harrowing chip pan fire of the vanities than its fictional counterparts.
But the broader point is this: Britain is a country that, if one made a compilation of its best culinary moments, would definitely begin with King Alfred burning the cakes and might well end with Gregg Wallace telling social media that the only people outraged by his propensity to drop his trousers backstage to present onlookers with his signature dish of sorpresa all porca were middle class women with humanities degrees from Russell Group universities who don't appreciate what, looked at objectively, was just proletarian high jinks – so far as I understand his apology to the complaints of more than 50 women involved on the show.
It is a miracle that a nation so infamous for its cuisine has been such a tastemaker for so long. And yet it has: in 2017 the Guinness Book of Records officially recognised MasterChef as the most successful television cookery format. MasterChef is one of this post-industrial nation's most successful export products, filmed in 50 countries and broadcast in 200 territories, with many formats of which the Brazilian variant MasterChef: Para Tudo (MasterChef: Stop Everything) sounds most exciting.
MasterChef's origin story takes us back to 1990, when clever producers created it as the spawn of Mastermind if less cerebral, and sibling of Angela Rippon's Masterteam but less collaborative. If only Dame Angela had been recruited as host, none of this nonsense of recent weeks on MasterChef would have happened. There would have been no Wallace ascribing his sexual misconduct to autism, and no Torode preparing a defence for his sacking over alleged racist remarks, to damage the brand. Plus the former newsreader could have high-kicked her way through the longueurs of food preparation, which would have got my vote. Who wants to watch people from Daventry stir gravy on telly eyed by these two, Wallace with his grin as mirthless as de Niro's and Torode, like the Assyrian king in Delacroix's The Death of Sardanapalus, dead eyed and sated from excess of, in his case, competitively cooked cuisine? That's not jeopardy. That's telly tedium. But then I didn't understand the appeal of Friends either.
What happens next? Can MasterChef be put together again? That's not how Humpty Dumpty nor soufflés work. True, critic and occasional judge Grace Dent was astutely hired last year to replace Wallace during investigations into his misconduct. With her lovely regional accent and long association with the show, she is the right person to detox the brand.
And what of the most recent unbroadcast series? All those contestants denied their moments of prime time fame? It's possible they might have a case to sue for denial of self-publicity and loss of projected future income attendant thereon, though I'm no lawyer. Perhaps only many years hence, like Bob Dylan's the Basement Tapes or those Bruce Springsteen albums now coming to light, will the time be right to release the last series to an expectant public.
Dent would need a co-host, ideally one with culinary moves. I recommend communist Moral Maze contributor Ash Sarkar whose recipe for fish finger bhorta was championed by no less a domestic goddess than Nigella Lawson. Neither Dent nor Sarkar, I'll wager, would get caught with their trousers down in the green room or alienate whole countries. And one final change to detoxify MasterChef: the name, with all the unacceptable patriarchal connotations of its prefix, must go even if the format remains the same. My suggestion? Dinner Ladies, with Grace and Ash. You know you'd watch it.
Hashtags

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles


Daily Mirror
20 minutes ago
- Daily Mirror
Eve Jobs and Harry Charles' wedding preparations in full swing ahead of huge event
Team GB Olympic champ Harry Charles and American model Eve Jobs are set to swap vows in front of family, friends and even a failed American President candidate in one of the most lavish weddings of 2025 This weekend, the UK will play host to one of the most lavish weddings in the 2025 society calendar as Harry Charles and Eve Jobs become husband and wife. A List stars have already jetted to the Cotswolds where the lavish event is due to take place. With the groom reportedly worth as much as $2.5 million (£1.8 million) and the bride worth a reported $2 million (£1.5 million) the pair can afford to host a lavish party. However, the fact that Eve's mum is reportedly worth over $14 billion (£10.4 billion), it may be less of a surprise that the nuptials are set to cost several million. The couple have been an item for almost three years and have been engaged for less than a year. However, their romance has been clear for all to see as they have shared cute snaps of themselves on social media where they have openly declared their love - and they will become husband and wife on Saturday 26 July 2025. As the pair prepare to swap vows and begin their happy future together, photos have emerged of their wedding venue and church in the UK. Ariel shots of the St Michael & All Angels Church in Great Tew, Oxfordshire, show huge flower displays at the entrance of the almost 1,000 year old place of worship. The church was originally built in 1170 - and restored in 1827 by Thomas Rickman and stands proudly among the trees and green grass of the English countryside. Further snaps have shown huge tents and structures placed - with a red carpet stretching through the countryside. Eve is the youngest child of the late Apple business founder Steve Jobs and his businesswoman wife Laurene Powell. She has an older brother named Reed, 33, sister Erin, 29, and a 47-year-old half-sister named Lisa Brennan-Jobs. Eve's father died in October 2011 at the age of 56 after a battle against cancer. He had an estimated wealth of $7 billion (£5.2 billion) at the time of his death. Eve is a fashion model by profession and a keen equestrian. Her love for horses led to her meeting British Olympic show jumping competitor Harry Charles, 26 - who competed in the 2024 Paris Olympic Games where he won gold in team jumping. He achieved the impressive feat with his arm strapped up having broken it four weeks before the games. The pair reportedly began dating in September 2022 - and Harry popped the question soon after winning gold at the 2024 Olympics. The happy couple have reportedly spared no expense for the event - splashing a reported $6.7 million (£5 million) on their big day. The pair have reportedly taken over the charming town of Witney and will host their wedding at Estelle Manor. Pre wedding celebrations reportedly took place in the nearby Soho Famhouse - with VIPs among those attending the celebrations. Celebs and high powered politicians are among those said to be jetting to the British countryside to watch the model and show jumping hunk say "I do". Failed American Presidential candidate Kamala Harris and music legend Bruce Springsteen are just two of the big names tipped to attend the ceremony. Estelle Manor is described as "Oxfordshire's most exclusive hotel" - helping the couple build a luxurious feel to their celebrations. The hotel has impressive amenities including a 25m pool, two paddle courts, and over 60 acres of land. The Grade II listed building boasts 108 bedrooms, 4 restaurants, and a spa - and it's real name is Eynsham Hall. Built in 1908, the country home initially hosted hunting parties - but was used as a maternity hospital rest and relaxation centre during World War II before becoming a police training centre and then, ultimately, being converted into a hotel. Ahead of their wedding, Eve enjoyed a sun-soaked hen do - heading to a luxury hotel on a sun soaked beach with close family and friends. She shared highlights from her fun-feulled trip last month, showing her cavorting around in a little white dress with a wedding veil and splashing in the sea with a lilo with the word "Bride" written on it. While it is unclear if Eve's proud mum, Laurene, is footing the wedding bill, she has previously suggested her children won't inherit much of her $14 billion fortune. She previously told the New York Times: "I inherited my wealth from my husband, who didn't care about the accumulation of wealth. "I'm not interested in legacy wealth building, and my children know that... Steve wasn't interested in that. If I live long enough, it ends with me." Steve and Laurene were married in 1991 and stayed together until his death in 2011. He died following a long fight against pancreatic cancer - which resulted in respiratory arrest. Steve was previously in a relationship with American memoirist and painter Chrisann Brennan, 70, with whom the Apple founder shared his first daughter, Lisa.


Daily Mirror
an hour ago
- Daily Mirror
Brooklyn Beckham makes defiant trip to UK with wife Nicola as family jet abroad
The ongoing feud between Brooklyn Beckham and the rest of his family has been a source of speculation among fans for months, but the 26-year-old and his wife remain defiant with a trip to England Amid the fallout of a ongoing family feud, the formerly tight-knit Beckhams are in tatters, with estranged son Brooklyn remaining defiant as he posts England holiday photos with his wife Nicola Peltz. But while the couple are soaking up the English countryside, the rest of the Beckhams are in the south of France, holidaying as family. Brooklyn, 26, and his wife Nicola, 30, looked every inch the loved-up couple during their trip to the UK, as they took a leisurely stroll through a picturesque garden. They can be seen enjoying some peaceful time away from the city as they wandered through the grounds. Nicola took a candid photo of her husband by a quaint garden well, while they both opted for casual outfits for their trip. One sweet photo shows Brooklyn kissing Nicola as they pose in front of a mirror. While Brooklyn and Nicola made their way to the UK, the rest of the Beckhams jetted off to France. Romeo Beckham, 22, and his sister Harper, 14, stepped out for a quiet dinner in St Tropez on Friday night. In an ironic turn of events, their estranged brother and his wife had been spotted out in the same place just last week. But despite the apparent radio silence between Brooklyn and his parents, he and Nicola did reach out to Harper recently. To mark the teen's birthday at the start of July, he posted a photo of himself and Nicola, alongside his little sister on Instagram. Writing on the Stories post, he said: "Happy birthday harper we love u x," and tagged his wife. Actress and socialite Nicola, 30, reshared the post on her own Story. Brooklyn was 12 when his youngest sibling was born. He and Harper have been close over the years, but there was said to be tension from those close to the family who were worried he wouldn't reach out at all amid the family feud. Sources shared their concerns after Brooklyn and Nicola failed to see Harper when they visited London in May to film an advert. The location for the shoot was just over a mile from the family home. The fears came after Brooklyn had been absent from a number of other recent family milestones. After failing to attend any of dad David's 50th celebrations, he also publicly blanked the former footballer's proud moment as it was announced he was being knighted. Brooklyn's younger brothers, Romeo and Cruz, also wished their sister a happy birthday on social media, alongside her parents David and Victoria. Brooklyn did wish David's mum Sandra happy birthday, despite ignoring both of his parents' big days. However, he didn't do the same for Victoria's dad Tony back in May. Earlier this month, Nicola Peltz, 30, hit back at claims she is "controlling" husband Brooklyn after posting photos from a party with some friends. While some fans commented to share well wishes over the occasion, others criticised Nicola and Brooklyn. One included the suggestion that Nicola is to blame for the rumoured rift between her husband and his parents. Jumping to Nicola's defence, some fans replied to the comments on the post, which included photos of Brooklyn beside Nelson. One comment, in which it was suggested that Brooklyn can make his own decisions, was liked by Nicola.

Leader Live
an hour ago
- Leader Live
Dame Cleo Laine, the ‘First Lady of Jazz', dies aged 97
Nicknamed the First Lady of Jazz, she was a Grammy award-winning, leading figure of the British jazz music scene along with her late husband, saxophonist Sir John Dankworth, for many years and worked with the likes of Ray Charles and Frank Sinatra. A statement from her children, Jacqui and Alec Dankworth, said: 'It is with deepest sadness that we announce the passing of our dearly beloved mother, Cleo, who died peacefully yesterday afternoon. 'We will all miss her terribly. The family wish to be given space to grieve and ask for privacy at this very difficult time.' The Stables, a charity and venue founded by Dame Cleo and Sir John, said in a statement it was 'greatly saddened' by the news that 'one of its founders and Life President, Dame Cleo Laine has passed away'. David Meadowcroft, chairman of the charity, said: 'Dame Cleo was a remarkable performer who was loved by audiences around the world, and her commitment to ensuring young people had access to great music and music education will continue through the work of The Stables.' Monica Ferguson, chief executive and artistic director of The Stables, said: 'Dame Cleo was admired greatly by fans, other musicians and by The Stables staff and volunteers. She will be greatly missed, but her unique talent will always be remembered.' Sir John, who had been a mainstay of the British jazz scene for more than 50 years, died aged 82 in 2010. She was the daughter of a Jamaican father and English mother whose childhood in Southall, west London, was supported by her father's busking talents. Her early singing experience started at home, with group family singalongs alongside her music-loving father. But before her musical career really took off, Dame Cleo was confined to the life of a hairdresser's assistant. She never gave up, entering talent contests and she sang on a semi-professional basis before finally auditioning for the Johnny Dankworth Seven. After that, she never looked back. She and Sir John, who married in 1958, worked with some of the top names in the music business – and she scored a UK top 10 hit in 1961 with You'll Answer To Me. She previously told the PA news agency: 'At the age of three I was singing, because our family sang, and we entertained each other. So right from a very early age there was this kind of Cinderella dream that I was going to do all this. 'When I wrote my autobiography I realised it was quite a Cinderella story in some ways. 'To me the wonderful thing is actually having done it, not the accolade, but to be singing, and to be singing at the age I am now. That is the best part of it.' Laine received a Grammy award for Best Jazz Vocal Performance in 1985. In 2002 the British Jazz Awards honoured her with their Life Achievement Award. Although best known as a jazz singer, Laine was also an accomplished actress, playing at London's Royal Court Theatre in 1958 and starring in Show Boat at the Adelphi. She became a dame in the 1997 Birthday Honours, saying at the time: 'I am of course, deeply honoured, but I think they have got the reason for it slightly wrong. 'It is British jazz that should have received the accolade for its service to me – it has given me a wonderful life, a successful career and an opportunity to travel the globe doing what I love to do, listening to and working with some of the world's most creative musicians. 'I'm a very lucky lady and I'm extremely grateful.'