Office team-building activities? Ugh! Why can't we just be (work) friends?

The Advertiser

20-06-2025

Do office team-building activities actually help make us better colleagues or more engaged and productive employees? SINEAD STUBBINS, author of the wicked new workplace culture satire Stinkbug, has feedback.
They say you always remember your first. I was sitting opposite a young man of similar age, who just happened to work at the same place I did.
We had been paired together because we were in different teams; we had never even exchanged a polite nod in the elevator. We had to interview each other and then present to the group facts about our partner. He had just told me that he used to do karate.
"What's an interesting fact about you?" he asked. It was like my brain had packed up and gone on annual leave. I couldn't think of anything. The clock was ticking. "I do karate too," I lied.
My partner frowned at me and I could tell he knew I was lying. My first forced team-building activity was not going well.
'Team-building activity' is a phrase that may send a shiver down your spine. For me, the idea of a forced getting-to-know-you game feels akin to juggling razor blades.
I've attended work socials in which everyone was required to dress in all white and then the social media team wondered why all the photos looked too creepy to put on Linkedin.
I've raced through the CBD trying to find clues for a treasure hunt, while dressed like a pirate. I've participated in work trivia and then been told politely afterwards that I had come across "as quite aggressive". None of these things made me better at my job.
And yet these activities persist! Corporations just won't give them up. You sort of have to opt into these trust falls and karaoke challenges, otherwise you're seen as antisocial at best and not dedicated to your job at worst.
It's peculiar to think that managers think that the adults who work under them aren't capable of creating workplace bonds organically. Why can't we be trusted to make our own friends? Why does there have to be paintball involved?
I'm not the only one who finds these games bizarre. Back in 2021, a study by the University of Sydney found that while making bonds was more important now than ever, with the pandemic and working-from-home measures increasingly isolating us from our colleagues, encouraging people to put on newspaper dresses and strut down a catwalk in the lunch room didn't generate great results.
"Many people do not want to be forced into having fun or making friends, especially not on top of their busy jobs or in stressful, dysfunctional environments where team building is typically called for," wrote Associate Professor Julien Pollack.
"These activities often feel implicitly mandatory. People can feel that management is being too nosy or trying to control their life too much."
So why do management care if you have a special bond with Frank from Marketing? The generous view is that they want the workplace to be a nice environment - somewhere where people support each other, can let off steam when things get too intense, have the resources to help each other with work demands and inspire each other to reach greater heights.
READ MORE
Staff retention is far more likely when people actually like the people they work with. But if we were to be cynical ... is it ultimately all about making money? A recent Gallup survey found that not only does having a work friend boost your general job satisfaction, it boosts business outcomes for corporations. Workers who have friends in the office are more than seven times more engaged in their work and are more likely to be innovative and creative in their problem solving.
Basically, work friendships are the key to increased productivity - which is maybe why your boss is so keen to book your team in for that escape room.
If the people in your organisation are competitive and ruthless towards each other, perhaps the workers aren't the issue - perhaps management is. It's easy to wave your hands and say "the fish rots from the head" to explain all manner of work issues, but if people are too stressed to be nice to each other, it's likely that there are bigger issues at play.
Forcing employees to take part in team-building activities could just be a distraction to larger issues and not a true marker of general job satisfaction.
In her book Work Won't Love You Back, Sarah Jaffee writes, "The compulsion to be happy at work is always a demand for emotional work from the worker".
I don't know about you, but I'd rather get my work done without having to plan around a go-karting lesson on Wednesday arvo. The funny thing is that despite being allergic to team-building activities, I've met most of my best friends in the workplace.
It wasn't because we were put on a table and told to get to know each other. It was a shared joke at the coffee machine or a fun collaboration on a project. When you stop making it a KPI, it's amazing how easy making friends at work can be.
Do office team-building activities actually help make us better colleagues or more engaged and productive employees? SINEAD STUBBINS, author of the wicked new workplace culture satire Stinkbug, has feedback.
They say you always remember your first. I was sitting opposite a young man of similar age, who just happened to work at the same place I did.
We had been paired together because we were in different teams; we had never even exchanged a polite nod in the elevator. We had to interview each other and then present to the group facts about our partner. He had just told me that he used to do karate.
"What's an interesting fact about you?" he asked. It was like my brain had packed up and gone on annual leave. I couldn't think of anything. The clock was ticking. "I do karate too," I lied.
My partner frowned at me and I could tell he knew I was lying. My first forced team-building activity was not going well.
'Team-building activity' is a phrase that may send a shiver down your spine. For me, the idea of a forced getting-to-know-you game feels akin to juggling razor blades.
I've attended work socials in which everyone was required to dress in all white and then the social media team wondered why all the photos looked too creepy to put on Linkedin.
I've raced through the CBD trying to find clues for a treasure hunt, while dressed like a pirate. I've participated in work trivia and then been told politely afterwards that I had come across "as quite aggressive". None of these things made me better at my job.
And yet these activities persist! Corporations just won't give them up. You sort of have to opt into these trust falls and karaoke challenges, otherwise you're seen as antisocial at best and not dedicated to your job at worst.
It's peculiar to think that managers think that the adults who work under them aren't capable of creating workplace bonds organically. Why can't we be trusted to make our own friends? Why does there have to be paintball involved?
I'm not the only one who finds these games bizarre. Back in 2021, a study by the University of Sydney found that while making bonds was more important now than ever, with the pandemic and working-from-home measures increasingly isolating us from our colleagues, encouraging people to put on newspaper dresses and strut down a catwalk in the lunch room didn't generate great results.
"Many people do not want to be forced into having fun or making friends, especially not on top of their busy jobs or in stressful, dysfunctional environments where team building is typically called for," wrote Associate Professor Julien Pollack.
"These activities often feel implicitly mandatory. People can feel that management is being too nosy or trying to control their life too much."
So why do management care if you have a special bond with Frank from Marketing? The generous view is that they want the workplace to be a nice environment - somewhere where people support each other, can let off steam when things get too intense, have the resources to help each other with work demands and inspire each other to reach greater heights.
READ MORE
Staff retention is far more likely when people actually like the people they work with. But if we were to be cynical ... is it ultimately all about making money? A recent Gallup survey found that not only does having a work friend boost your general job satisfaction, it boosts business outcomes for corporations. Workers who have friends in the office are more than seven times more engaged in their work and are more likely to be innovative and creative in their problem solving.
Basically, work friendships are the key to increased productivity - which is maybe why your boss is so keen to book your team in for that escape room.
If the people in your organisation are competitive and ruthless towards each other, perhaps the workers aren't the issue - perhaps management is. It's easy to wave your hands and say "the fish rots from the head" to explain all manner of work issues, but if people are too stressed to be nice to each other, it's likely that there are bigger issues at play.
Forcing employees to take part in team-building activities could just be a distraction to larger issues and not a true marker of general job satisfaction.
In her book Work Won't Love You Back, Sarah Jaffee writes, "The compulsion to be happy at work is always a demand for emotional work from the worker".
I don't know about you, but I'd rather get my work done without having to plan around a go-karting lesson on Wednesday arvo. The funny thing is that despite being allergic to team-building activities, I've met most of my best friends in the workplace.
It wasn't because we were put on a table and told to get to know each other. It was a shared joke at the coffee machine or a fun collaboration on a project. When you stop making it a KPI, it's amazing how easy making friends at work can be.
Do office team-building activities actually help make us better colleagues or more engaged and productive employees? SINEAD STUBBINS, author of the wicked new workplace culture satire Stinkbug, has feedback.
They say you always remember your first. I was sitting opposite a young man of similar age, who just happened to work at the same place I did.
We had been paired together because we were in different teams; we had never even exchanged a polite nod in the elevator. We had to interview each other and then present to the group facts about our partner. He had just told me that he used to do karate.
"What's an interesting fact about you?" he asked. It was like my brain had packed up and gone on annual leave. I couldn't think of anything. The clock was ticking. "I do karate too," I lied.
My partner frowned at me and I could tell he knew I was lying. My first forced team-building activity was not going well.
'Team-building activity' is a phrase that may send a shiver down your spine. For me, the idea of a forced getting-to-know-you game feels akin to juggling razor blades.
I've attended work socials in which everyone was required to dress in all white and then the social media team wondered why all the photos looked too creepy to put on Linkedin.
I've raced through the CBD trying to find clues for a treasure hunt, while dressed like a pirate. I've participated in work trivia and then been told politely afterwards that I had come across "as quite aggressive". None of these things made me better at my job.
And yet these activities persist! Corporations just won't give them up. You sort of have to opt into these trust falls and karaoke challenges, otherwise you're seen as antisocial at best and not dedicated to your job at worst.
It's peculiar to think that managers think that the adults who work under them aren't capable of creating workplace bonds organically. Why can't we be trusted to make our own friends? Why does there have to be paintball involved?
I'm not the only one who finds these games bizarre. Back in 2021, a study by the University of Sydney found that while making bonds was more important now than ever, with the pandemic and working-from-home measures increasingly isolating us from our colleagues, encouraging people to put on newspaper dresses and strut down a catwalk in the lunch room didn't generate great results.
"Many people do not want to be forced into having fun or making friends, especially not on top of their busy jobs or in stressful, dysfunctional environments where team building is typically called for," wrote Associate Professor Julien Pollack.
"These activities often feel implicitly mandatory. People can feel that management is being too nosy or trying to control their life too much."
So why do management care if you have a special bond with Frank from Marketing? The generous view is that they want the workplace to be a nice environment - somewhere where people support each other, can let off steam when things get too intense, have the resources to help each other with work demands and inspire each other to reach greater heights.
READ MORE
Staff retention is far more likely when people actually like the people they work with. But if we were to be cynical ... is it ultimately all about making money? A recent Gallup survey found that not only does having a work friend boost your general job satisfaction, it boosts business outcomes for corporations. Workers who have friends in the office are more than seven times more engaged in their work and are more likely to be innovative and creative in their problem solving.
Basically, work friendships are the key to increased productivity - which is maybe why your boss is so keen to book your team in for that escape room.
If the people in your organisation are competitive and ruthless towards each other, perhaps the workers aren't the issue - perhaps management is. It's easy to wave your hands and say "the fish rots from the head" to explain all manner of work issues, but if people are too stressed to be nice to each other, it's likely that there are bigger issues at play.
Forcing employees to take part in team-building activities could just be a distraction to larger issues and not a true marker of general job satisfaction.
In her book Work Won't Love You Back, Sarah Jaffee writes, "The compulsion to be happy at work is always a demand for emotional work from the worker".
I don't know about you, but I'd rather get my work done without having to plan around a go-karting lesson on Wednesday arvo. The funny thing is that despite being allergic to team-building activities, I've met most of my best friends in the workplace.
It wasn't because we were put on a table and told to get to know each other. It was a shared joke at the coffee machine or a fun collaboration on a project. When you stop making it a KPI, it's amazing how easy making friends at work can be.
Do office team-building activities actually help make us better colleagues or more engaged and productive employees? SINEAD STUBBINS, author of the wicked new workplace culture satire Stinkbug, has feedback.
They say you always remember your first. I was sitting opposite a young man of similar age, who just happened to work at the same place I did.
We had been paired together because we were in different teams; we had never even exchanged a polite nod in the elevator. We had to interview each other and then present to the group facts about our partner. He had just told me that he used to do karate.
"What's an interesting fact about you?" he asked. It was like my brain had packed up and gone on annual leave. I couldn't think of anything. The clock was ticking. "I do karate too," I lied.
My partner frowned at me and I could tell he knew I was lying. My first forced team-building activity was not going well.
'Team-building activity' is a phrase that may send a shiver down your spine. For me, the idea of a forced getting-to-know-you game feels akin to juggling razor blades.
I've attended work socials in which everyone was required to dress in all white and then the social media team wondered why all the photos looked too creepy to put on Linkedin.
I've raced through the CBD trying to find clues for a treasure hunt, while dressed like a pirate. I've participated in work trivia and then been told politely afterwards that I had come across "as quite aggressive". None of these things made me better at my job.
And yet these activities persist! Corporations just won't give them up. You sort of have to opt into these trust falls and karaoke challenges, otherwise you're seen as antisocial at best and not dedicated to your job at worst.
It's peculiar to think that managers think that the adults who work under them aren't capable of creating workplace bonds organically. Why can't we be trusted to make our own friends? Why does there have to be paintball involved?
I'm not the only one who finds these games bizarre. Back in 2021, a study by the University of Sydney found that while making bonds was more important now than ever, with the pandemic and working-from-home measures increasingly isolating us from our colleagues, encouraging people to put on newspaper dresses and strut down a catwalk in the lunch room didn't generate great results.
"Many people do not want to be forced into having fun or making friends, especially not on top of their busy jobs or in stressful, dysfunctional environments where team building is typically called for," wrote Associate Professor Julien Pollack.
"These activities often feel implicitly mandatory. People can feel that management is being too nosy or trying to control their life too much."
So why do management care if you have a special bond with Frank from Marketing? The generous view is that they want the workplace to be a nice environment - somewhere where people support each other, can let off steam when things get too intense, have the resources to help each other with work demands and inspire each other to reach greater heights.
READ MORE
Staff retention is far more likely when people actually like the people they work with. But if we were to be cynical ... is it ultimately all about making money? A recent Gallup survey found that not only does having a work friend boost your general job satisfaction, it boosts business outcomes for corporations. Workers who have friends in the office are more than seven times more engaged in their work and are more likely to be innovative and creative in their problem solving.
Basically, work friendships are the key to increased productivity - which is maybe why your boss is so keen to book your team in for that escape room.
If the people in your organisation are competitive and ruthless towards each other, perhaps the workers aren't the issue - perhaps management is. It's easy to wave your hands and say "the fish rots from the head" to explain all manner of work issues, but if people are too stressed to be nice to each other, it's likely that there are bigger issues at play.
Forcing employees to take part in team-building activities could just be a distraction to larger issues and not a true marker of general job satisfaction.
In her book Work Won't Love You Back, Sarah Jaffee writes, "The compulsion to be happy at work is always a demand for emotional work from the worker".
I don't know about you, but I'd rather get my work done without having to plan around a go-karting lesson on Wednesday arvo. The funny thing is that despite being allergic to team-building activities, I've met most of my best friends in the workplace.
It wasn't because we were put on a table and told to get to know each other. It was a shared joke at the coffee machine or a fun collaboration on a project. When you stop making it a KPI, it's amazing how easy making friends at work can be.