A Ridiculously Simple Habit That Strengthens Love, By A Psychologist

Forbes

4 days ago

Think about all the times you've laughed with your friends; the late-night giggles, the completely ridiculous inside jokes or the perfectly timed sarcastic comment that left you and your friends wheezing. It could even be a fit of dark humor during a stressful day or the kind of uncontrollable laughter where you can't even remember what started it.
Laughter has the power to transform moments. Even heavy or uncomfortable situations can feel lighter when humor is involved, which is why many resort to dark humor. It's a coping mechanism for many. That's also why sitcoms like The Office or Brooklyn Nine-Nine can handle surprisingly deep topics, including grief, failure and identity, without leaving you feeling drained.
Laughter is part joy, part release and part unspoken signal that says, 'We get each other.'
You tend to laugh far more with other people than when alone, and often, it's not even about the joke and more about the connection you feel in that moment.
Relationships thrive on such moments of shared joy. Laughter can be a strong social glue. When you and someone else laugh together, you're 'syncing up' and likely feel like you're on the same wavelength. This is how 'shared laughter' can benefit your relationships.
In a 2015 study published in Personal Relationships, researchers looked beyond the fact that laughter feels good and explored if it could actually be measured as a marker of relationship health. They studied this by watching couples laugh together and analyzing exactly what those shared chuckles revealed about their connection.
In the experiment, every laugh was recorded on video, whether it was a single chuckle or a burst of uncontrollable laughter. Researchers then found patterns that revealed the role of shared laughter in connection and closeness.
Based on the 2015 study, here are two ways shared laughter can make your love stronger.
1. Shared Laughter Boosts Emotional Closeness And Perceived Support
In close relationships, it's not just the big and romantic gestures that matter. The small moments, the ones that are often overlooked or taken for granted, have the power to quietly strengthen your bond. Shared laughter, being one of these moments, plays a key role in helping partners feel closer.
In the 2015 study, researchers asked 71 couples to recount how they first met while being recorded. They then coded every instance of laughter, distinguishing between individual laughs and moments when both partners laughed at the same time.
The findings showed a clear pattern where couples who spent more of the conversation laughing together (even after accounting for all other laughter) reported feeling significantly closer and more supported by their partner.
This highlights how shared laughter is not just the byproduct of a good relationship, but also an active ingredient in creating one. This usually happens because shared laughter can make you feel like you see the world the same way. It can also signal mutual understanding and comfort, qualities that make emotional intimacy easier to sustain.
When two people respond to the same cue with genuine laughter, it reinforces the sense that you are on the same team.
As you reflect on the importance of sharing laughter, remember that you do not have to force it. The idea is just to stay open to finding humor in the everyday, in your quirks and even in the messier parts of life. This can quietly weave a stronger emotional thread between you and your partner.
You might forget the exact jokes years later, but you'll remember the feeling of being understood and deeply connected.
2. Shared Laughter Enhances Relationship Satisfaction And Quality
The positive impacts of shared laughter extend beyond closeness. It doesn't just bring people closer in the moment, but also plays a role in how partners evaluate the relationship as a whole.
When laughter is a recurring presence, it can positively shape the overall emotional climate of the relationship, making it feel lighter and more enjoyable to be in.
Over time, these lighthearted exchanges become part of the couple's shared narrative, which influences how you think of the relationship and decide whether it's a source of joy or strain in your life.
In the same 2015 study, researchers found that couples who engaged in more mutual laughter tended to rate their relationships higher in overall quality, even when other factors like individual humor or general positivity were taken into account.
While the link with measures such as passion and commitment showed some gender-based variations, the pattern for overall satisfaction remained consistent. This suggests that the simple act of laughing together acts as an independent contributor to how happy people feel in their relationships.
Satisfaction in love is not built solely on compatibility or problem-solving skills. How light or heavy a relationship feels in your day-to-day life can equally impact how satisfied you feel together.
Moments where you share a laugh together in any way are reminders, scattered through the relationship, that joy is still present and accessible. When you prioritize playfulness and make conscious efforts to cultivate shared moments of joy, you steadily build a relationship that feels good to be in, in the countless small spaces in between the big moments.
Creating Moments Of Playfulness And Joy In Your Relationship
The 2015 study is a reminder that prioritizing playfulness in your relationships is essential. It can be all too easy to slip into seeing things only through the lens of seriousness, especially with life's responsibilities and challenges.
But it's equally important to keep playfulness alive, not just in relationships, but in life as a whole. Playfulness keeps your connection light yet strong, helping love become more resilient over time.
Here are a few simple ways to bring playfulness into your shared time.
Playfulness is simply choosing to let joy in. In the end, it's the shared moments of lightness that make love last and life feel easier. Laughter might just be the easiest way to keep that spark alive for years to come, together.
Can you embrace life's challenges with humor? Take this science-backed test to find out: Self-Enhancing Humor Style Scale