Therapist reveals the REAL reason you hate your birthday - and it's not because you're getting older
Brooke Camporeale (@brookectherapy), an Australian-born trauma-informed life coach based in the UK, took to TikTok to address the fact that people of all ages often dread their birthday.
In a video that's been viewed 153,000 times, Brooke, who offers one-to-one therapy sessions, says that 'immature or narcissistic parents' are the reason that many don't enjoy their special day.
Narcissistic parents are usually fixated with being exceptional and unique, craving admiration and praise. In addition, they are usually absent emotionally, which can spark issues for their children later in life.
Rather than either worries about the future or regrets about the past, birthdays bring back the times when children were made to feel they 'weren't good enough', according to the Brooke.
She says: 'The reason you hate your birthday is because you were raised by emotionally immature or narcissistic parents.
'The reason I correlate this to your birthday is because you were constantly made to feel like you weren't good enough.'
Children who were raised by immature or narcissistic parents, Brooke adds, tend to see their birthday not as 'a celebration of all the things' they've achieved and done during the year but rather as something they 'don't deserve to celebrate'.
@brookectherapy
You deserve to take up space and you definitely deserve to be celebrated! If this is something you relate to, let me help you heal. DM me to book a free 1-1 therapy session ❤️ #healingtiktok #HealingJourney #therapytiktok #traumahealing #innerchildhealing #holistictherapy #therapist #birthday #childhoodtrauma #fyp
♬ original sound - Brooke - Holistic Therapist ✨
The therapist says: 'You couldn't do anything right, you were always in the way.
'And by the time your birthday rolls around, instead of you seeing that as a celebration of all the things that you've achieved and all the things that you've done that year, you see it as something you don't deserve to celebrate because you've constantly been an inconvenience to the people who are meant to love you unconditionally.'
Brooke wants people to let go of this view, encouraging them to 'take up space'.
In the caption to her video, she writes: 'You deserve to take up space and you definitely deserve to be celebrated!'
Brooke's video generated a huge discussion on TikTok, with people using their own experiences to both affirm and refute the therapist's view.
One person appeared to agree with her thesis when they wrote: 'I hate birthdays because my mother thought it was a day she deserved to be celebrated.'
Writing in a similar vein, another added: 'My mother didn't celebrate Mother's Day. She moved that to my birthday and made it her celebration instead.'
While a third said: 'My parents made it their mission to make me cry every single birthday and Christmas without fail. I no longer speak to them.'
Brooke's video generated a huge discussion on TikTok, with users both affirming the therapist's view with their own experience and refuting it
Yet others were sceptical about Brooke's contention that narcissistic parents - specifically, their failure to make children feel seen and valued - are the reason people dread their birthday.
One person wrote: 'Yeah, none of that is true. I just don't like the idea of celebrating another year closer to death'.
A second agreed, adding: 'Nah, I was raised by an amazing father. But I don't like ageing and I'm scared of dying.'
A third offered a different reason, commenting: 'No, I had great parents. It's because I find opening presents embarrassing and feel like I'm meant to organise something'.
Someone else offered a similar view, responding to Brooke's post with the comment: 'Not true. I feel it's a bit like New Year's Eve, you have to have a good time. That sort of expectation always leads to disappointment. Forced fun is not fun'.
A fifth shared another personal reason for hating their birthday, writing: 'I never liked birthdays because friends always forget it. Now I never mention it and none of my friends have asked me when my birthday is.'
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