Woman Not Prepared for Ex's Demands Over Wedding: 'Pay My Portion'
Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content.
A woman is in disbelief that her ex-boyfriend expects her pay another $125 on top of her "good-faith" $400 reimbursement towards a wedding they are no longer attending as a couple.
The 30-year-old woman opened up on Reddit as user ptothedubs this week to appeal for opinions about the situation involving her 31-year-old ex-boyfriend, Joe, and his monetary demand.
'Likes to spend money'
The original poster (OP) said she first met Joe in May of this year and the two began dating shortly after. Early on in their relationship, Joe was invited to a wedding for his friend Meg and asked the OP to be his plus-one.
"I have never met Meg, but I agreed to go. We RSVP'd and Joe booked plane tickets and a hotel room," she wrote.
However, a few days ago, the OP said she ended her relationship with Joe, noting that personal finance was one aspect of their relationship that caused many arguments.
The OP described herself as being "very frugal," while Joe, "likes to spend money on creature comforts and trips."
Stock image: Woman reading a wedding invitation.
Stock image: Woman reading a wedding invitation.
Rawpixel/Getty Images
The wedding is about five weeks away. User ptothedubs partly ended their relationship when she did because she didn't want to be in photos at the ceremony.
The OP said she returned all of Joe's things and offered to pay him back for her plane ticket and her share of the hotel for the wedding, which came to a little over $400.
'I shouldn't have to pay'
"Today, Joe contacted me and asked if I could pay another $125 on top of all of that to offset Meg's costs for my plate and everything at the reception," the woman told Redditors.
"He says it's so close to the wedding and since deposits have gone to vendors, I should pay my portion.
"I think that more than a month's notice is ample time for Meg to either fill the seat, or for Joe to find another plus-one, who would also be benefitting from my paying half of the hotel stay.
"I also think that since I wouldn't pay that money if I was attending, then I shouldn't have to pay now that I'm not."
Users React
The Reddit post has provoked about 500 comments within a day online, with most contributors in support of the OP and critical of her ex.
"You should pay for the cost of your flight and nothing more," a typical pundit agreed.
"This fellow will still need the hotel room and the bride and groom absolutely can remove you from the count. You dated this man for all of 12 minutes."
Another person chipped in to declare that, "The bride and groom can also either reallocate the seat to someone else, or the ex can get a new date. Either way, they aren't owed hotel or the cost of dinner."
A newlywed pointed out that their vendors required a final tally two or three weeks in advance, not more than a month before the big day.
"If Joe is truly worried about offsetting Meg's costs, he'll let her know that you're not coming and she'll just adjust her spreadsheets, no big deal," the newlywed continued.
Wedding Conflicts
On the sometimes contentious matter of wedding costs, Newsweek reported about a bride who was criticized for asking her guests to help pay for her nuptials.
In that case, the bride mentioned to her friends that she would be sending out her Venmo details so that they could, "'pitch in' for the wedding."
Newsweek reported about an incident where a woman refused to attend her friend's wedding, after they asked the woman not to bring her current partner as her plus-one since her ex-girlfriend would be there.
Pocket the Money?
In a message to Newsweek via Reddit, ptothedubs said she wanted to clarify that she disagreed with many responses who believed that Joe was going to pocket the money she paid back to him.
"We are on good terms after the breakup," the woman noted.
"I did give him the money for the plane ticket and my half of the hotel, but we agreed that he would pay me back if he could get the ticket refunded/credited.
"I know people were upset that I was paying for the hotel, but I don't mind because it meant he could buy a nicer gift, and because he had purchased some stuff for my apartment that he was OK with me keeping.
"So, in a way, it's like I was paying him back for that."
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