The toxic but common phrase that's guaranteed to eventually end your relationship, according to a psychologist

Scottish Sun

16-05-2025

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ROWS. Clashes. Conflict. Disputes. Whatever you call arguments, every relationship has them.
But your fighting style could directly impact how successful your romance is, especially if you hurl a particularly common but toxic phrase into the mix, warns one psychologist.
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Relationship arguments are most often linked to one partner comparing their relationship or life to someone else's
Credit: Getty
Many couples admitted to saying the statement, or had it directed at them, before their relationship broke down, according to relationship psychologist Dr Mark Travers.
The expert often speaks to couples who are having unrelenting spats at home - and he finds that when he digs deeper, there is always a root cause.
Arguments are most often linked to one partner comparing their relationship or life to someone else's, Dr Travers explained.
'There's one phrase I've seen come up in these exchanges that's more damaging than you think: 'Why can't you be more like [insert other person's name]?',' he wrote for CNBC Make It.
This is what the psychologist calls the 'death-by-comparison' effect and it leads to 'irreparable insecurity issues' over time.
He believes that it is an obvious indication that your relationship is in trouble, no matter how confident you are you could make it out of the bad patch.
He said: 'The real message will always remain the same: 'You're not enough, and someone else - anyone else - could do a better job at being my partner'.'
Dr Travers continued that it is important to communicate our needs in relationships = 'clearly, without shame or comparison'.
And the more secure a person feels in their relationship, the more likely they are to communicate directly.
He said: 'Relationships require the willingness to love each other as real, flawed, irreplaceable humans - not as comparisons to someone else.'
Your sex life could also indicate that you're heading for divorce, another relationship expert told The Sun.
Shockingly, nearly nine in 10 couples feel like they're not getting enough, according to a recent study.
According to Kate Taylor, a relationship and sex expert, your sex life can be a powerful indicator of your overall relationship health.
But how little is too little? And when does a dry spell become a red flag for your relationship and marriage?
She said: 'If you're worried about your relationship, start by looking at your sex life.
'There are certain signs in the bedroom that suggest all is not well and a divorce may be on the horizon.'
Among these is doing it less than once a month, never orgasming and sex feeling like a chore.
Only getting heated between the sheets after 10pm is a bad sign too, Taylor warned.