'Is it just me, or is Singapore a lonely place to live?'

Independent Singapore

5 days ago

SINGAPORE: Singapore is well-organised, secure, and hyper-connected. High-rise buildings glitter, public transport buzzes with accuracy, and cafes buzz with elegant customers scrolling through glowing cellphone screens, but underneath this lustrous exterior, a noiseless, more imperceptible current exists in the lives of many — a profound and increasing sense of isolation and loneliness.
It began with a Reddit post, open and truthful, simply titled: 'Lonely in Singapore, who else feels the same?' The poster depicted an image many are familiar with but hardly talk about — the pain of feeling invisible in a city bursting with people.
'Alone in a crowded city, surrounded yet unseen… Loneliness has slipped into households filled with people, hidden behind busy schedules, polite small talk, and tired eyes. Even the married, even parents with children, speak of the silence, the emptiness.'
This is not just about eating out alone or walking unaccompanied through Orchard Road. It's about emotional remoteness, regardless of status, age, or upbringing. Loneliness turns out to be a silent but rampant 'illness' even in homes full of babble, in rooms where individuals sit shoulder to shoulder.
The post resonated with many people, who voiced similar opinions. One commenter admitted, 'Modern society is constantly rushing… everyone glued to their phones. We crave connection, but real intimacy takes vulnerability, time, and effort—and people today don't always have the energy for that.'
Singaporeans, according to the commenters, frequently appear candid, but are, in reality, guarded. Relationships and attachments are shaped early and inclined to stay taped up. Friendships built while in school, the army, or long-held workplaces seldom make room for strangers. Even in public spaces such as cafes, gyms, and churches, connections tend to be operating on a 'surface level.' A grin here, a like or heart on Instagram there, but very few deep conversations.
Another commenter grieved how hard it is for one to feel that you truly belong, even after trying so hard: 'We join meetups, try apps, attend hobby classes. Still go home feeling unseen.'
Many responses led to an uncomfortable truth — meaningful connection demands emotional risk, something that many don't want to dive into. One netizen who founded several communities in Singapore perceived a pattern—people usually sign up but stay inactive or unreceptive, expecting a connection without input or involvement. See also Singaporean asks if there's a loneliness epidemic going on
'The ones who benefit most are those who show up and give, not just take. They participate, share, and make space for others. That's how bonds are built—through presence and patience.'
Others were more open and critical, saying what they saw as shallowness in social dynamics. 'Singapore is a very superficial place to me… people are always rushing or trying to outdo others. Even some community groups only 'welcome' you to boost their numbers or make their leaders feel powerful.'
Still, most believed that the solution is not simple. Finding meaningful connections or real friendships as an adult is difficult anywhere in the world, but particularly in cities reinforced by speed, efficiency, and sophisticated appearances like Singapore.
That's why that Reddit post hit a chord because in that thread, strangers connected, not through elegant bios or curated pictures, but via shared 'frailty.' And one candid question unified them:
'Do you feel lonely too?'
In a city where displaying vulnerability is frequently dodged, perhaps the path forward starts with honesty. With tiny acts of courage—an authentic question, a candid response, an offer to connect past the superficial.
Loneliness may be hushed, but it doesn't have to be experienced all on your own.