‘I fund holidays and nice things, but nobody does it for me': Singapore woman considers divorce as PR husband fails to pull his weight in marriage
In a post on the r/asksingapore subreddit, the woman shared that she's been the main breadwinner throughout their entire marriage.
'I am pretty much the sole breadwinner since we got married, and I feel very annoyed by this because I fund holidays and nice things, but nobody does it for me. Why am I working so hard to fund things for everyone else?' she wrote.
'He is a PR, and I think there are some issues with finding a good, suitable, or compatible job here… but let's not go down that path.'
She added that while her husband is technically a stay-at-home dad, he doesn't actually take on the responsibilities that come with the role.
'He is a SAHD who doesn't do any SAHD jobs, so frankly I don't really feel comfortable with my kid staying overnight with him or being taken overseas by him, because all he can do is play with the kid until he gets bored. Then it's just phone, computer, and they'll probably survive on McDonald's and pizza,' she said.
The woman mentioned that although her husband has never cheated on her and is not a 'bad guy,' she has fallen out of love with him due to his shortcomings.
She also shared that she doesn't want to stay in the marriage solely for the sake of their child, as she fears she would end up feeling 'unhappy and trapped,' adding, 'I [also] suspect there will still be some trauma caused to the kid regardless, since there is always some level of tension at home.'
Not knowing how to handle the situation, she turned to fellow Reddit users for advice, asking if there were any support groups she could join or anyone she could speak to who might help guide her through the process. 'Sit and talk about it. Find a solution together.'
Enraged that her husband made her shoulder the entire burden throughout their marriage, many users urged her to leave him.
Some said they might have understood if he had simply failed to find a job, given how tough the job market is. But completely ignoring all stay-at-home dad responsibilities? That, they said, was simply unacceptable.
A few even called him a 'leech.' One said, 'She didn't marry a man; she married a leech. And what responsibilities did this man contribute? Donating his sperm to bring about the kid?'
Another commented, 'If you think clearly about it (which is tough to do when you're in that situation), you're already Dad and Mom to your kid and another kid (immature adult). At least if you leave, not only will you be happier and your mood a lot better, but you will also have a chance of getting a real dad for your kid, if you choose to later.'
A third wrote, 'No offence, but what made you have a kid with this guy?'
Still, despite all the backlash, there were a handful of users who weighed the situation much more carefully and advised the woman to seek professional help before ending the marriage.
One wrote, 'Go for couples counselling to lay out your issues and work through them—it'll help whatever the outcome is. Probably the best way to approach things is to say, 'We need to get counselling' rather than 'I want a divorce.''
Another added, 'Love and marriage always require efforts from both parties; hence, communication with each other is important. My honest suggestion is to try and work it out. Sit and talk about it. Find a solution together. Just like how you guys solved past problems.'
In other news, a man shared on social media that he is now having second thoughts about applying for a (Build-to-Order) BTO flat with his wife after she repeatedly lied about using a male online streaming app and spending over S$3,000 on virtual gifts.
On Monday (Jul 21), he took to the r/SingaporeRaw subreddit to seek advice. In his post, he said that when he first caught her sending expensive gifts to male singers from China, she dismissed his concerns and deleted both the app and her messaging accounts so that he 'could not see their conversations.'
Read more: Man reconsiders BTO plans after wife repeatedly lied about using male online streaming app and spending over S$3k on virtual gifts
Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)
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