Man Is 'Tired of Dealing with' Picky Family Members After His Birthday Dinner Plans Lead to 'Hostile' Interaction
A man chose a restaurant he liked for his birthday dinner, upsetting his dad's wife and her son who have restrictive diets
The family demanded he move the dinner out of state to suit their preferences — he refused
The man is now facing backlash for holding firm, but says he no longer considers them real familyA man seeks support from the Reddit community for advice following a tense birthday dinner that reignites years of unresolved family tensions. In his post, the 22-year-old explains how choosing a restaurant for his birthday sparked backlash from his father's wife, Kathleen, and her son, Benjamin.
'My dad got married to Kathleen when I was 15,' the poster shared, noting that Kathleen has two children of her own, one of whom he has never met. The one he does know — Benjamin, now 18 — has multiple allergies and an extremely limited diet, which has long dictated the family's eating habits.
'Benjamin is allergic to peanuts and shellfish,' the man wrote, adding that the allergy is just part of the challenge. 'On top of that him and Kathleen are very picky eaters.'
He recalled how meals were always restricted when he lived with them. 'His diet when I lived there consisted of pizza, fries and burgers and beef and cheese tacos,' he shared. 'He didn't eat fruits or vegetables. He didn't eat any meat except for beef.'
Kathleen, too, has a long list of dislikes. 'I can't remember all the stuff she wouldn't eat but it included any kind of fish, any kind of potato, rice, pasta, bread and stuff like that," the Redditor wrote, noting that this limited nearly every family meal to just a few fast food spots.
Ordering takeout or dining out as a family became an exhausting routine. 'The food was never great but could've been worse,' he added. 'I think the part that sucked was every time we ordered out for my birthday or went out for my birthday it was one of the two places we had.'
Even simple options like tacos were difficult to manage. 'A taco place was out unless they'd remove all veggies and extras except for the meat and cheese,' he recalled. 'And some places still put 'gross s---' to quote Benjamin on them when they did seemingly comply.'
As he grew older, he began skipping their 'family meals,' tired of being forced into their limited choices. 'Anytime still they want to do a family meal out they expect us all to go to their chosen fast food places that work for Benjamin and Kathleen,' he explained. 'And I'm tired of dealing with them.'
This year, for his birthday, he decided to do things differently. 'A few weeks ago I had a birthday dinner with my girlfriend and some family and friends,' he wrote. 'Dad wanted to come and he expected Kathleen and Benjamin to be invited too.'
The poster made it clear that they were welcome—as long as they were willing to eat at the restaurant he picked. 'I told him that was okay if they'd eat where I had chosen,' he shared. But soon after, he was met with resistance.
'I got an email from Kathleen and calls from dad where I was told my restaurant of choice did not meet the needs and requirements of Benjamin and Kathleen," the Redditor explained. The pair even suggested that he and his guests travel out of state for a more suitable dining option for them.
His response was firm. 'My answer was no and I told dad he could still come but I was not changing where I have MY birthday dinner," he wrote. However, Kathleen did not take the refusal lightly.
'Kathleen sent another email asking why I was being so hostile like her daughter and I should care about my family's health and interests,' he noted. The message struck a nerve, especially since he's never even met her daughter.
Tensions rose further when his dad and Kathleen learned that other members of his dad's family traveled to join the birthday celebration. 'Dad and Kathleen were more upset to learn some of dad's side flew out to join us for dinner when they typically won't accept plans from them to eat out," the original poster continued.
Now, he said, he's facing even more backlash for simply choosing a restaurant he liked. 'So now I'm facing more of their anger for my choice of restaurant,' he shared. But as he turns to Reddit to ask if he's in the wrong, the support he receives is clear.
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'NTA,' one commenter wrote. 'It's your birthday. And it sounds like she is fully just your dad's wife. Not any kind of stepmom.'
In response, the original poster shared what seems to be the heart of the matter. 'That sums it up,' he wrote. 'I don't consider either of them any kind of real family. Only people my dad chose as his family.'
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