They get paid to flirt with other people's partners. Meet the 'loyalty testers.'

USA Today

27-03-2025

They get paid to flirt with other people's partners. Meet the 'loyalty testers.'
She thought she was finally in a good relationship. Or was she?
The 29-year-old hairstylist in New York had been cheated on before, an experience that left her devastated and heartbroken. She knew her new boyfriend was different, but, still, she couldn't help but wonder: Would he betray her, just as her ex did?
She says she needed peace of mind. She needed a loyalty test.
So-called "loyalty tests" have blown up on social media, where people offer to "test" each other's significant others by flirting with them, sometimes over social media, sometimes in person. If the person flirts back − or worse, makes plans to meet up − they fail the test, and their partner is left to decide how to proceed.
Some TikTok users offer to run loyalty tests for followers. On YouTube, several loyalty test videos have gone viral, racking up millions of views. The trend has even spawned an industry, with the company Loyalty-Test allowing people to make profiles and set their own rates for loyalty testing. After the 29-year-old, Ari, used that company to test her boyfriend (he passed), she was so impressed with the service that she became a tester. She, like several others we interviewed for this piece, asked that we withhold her full name as she uses her real social media accounts to bait potential cheaters, and she doesn't want to tip off anyone she may encounter down the line − or incur the wrath of scorned cheaters she's caught.
Ari's main motivation for loyalty testing, she says, is to give people the same peace of mind she craved.
"I had felt like I could do this," she says. "I can help people out."
Still, she says, it's been hard to see how frequently − and how spectacularly − so many people fail her tests.
The loyalty testers USA TODAY spoke with say they have good intentions. Some know the pain of getting cheated on and want to spare others that kind of betrayal.
Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," however, advises against loyalty tests. If you suspect your partner's dishonest, she says, doing something deceitful yourself will only make it harder to build trust.
"As someone who's worked with thousands of heartbroken individuals, I can tell you that these tests are essentially relationship sabotage disguised as peace of mind," Chan says. "When you hire someone to test your partner's loyalty, you're already operating from a foundation of suspicion rather than trust. This approach doesn't build security − it erodes it. It introduces deception into the relationship, and ironically, makes you the one engaging in dishonest behavior while claiming to seek honesty."
Meet the loyalty testers
Brandan Balasingham got the idea to start Loyalty-Test about two years ago, after he saw some of his friends do loyalty tests on each other's partners.
Business has been steady since, he says, with the website averaging 10-20 tests a day.
People can apply to become testers for him by submitting their social media, ID and other information. Balasingham takes a cut of every loyalty test arranged through his website: $35 for tests under $100 and $55 for tests over $100.
More: Can your relationship truly recover from cheating?
Balasingham says most of the people who order loyalty tests through his website are women. About 20% of those tested, he says, fail unequivocally − meaning their responses to the tester are either obviously flirtatious or express clear intentions of meeting up.
Ari says many of the people who hire her for loyalty tests are either engaged or on the cusp of getting married. Some are about to move in with their partners. Others are deciding if they should have kids.
Doing loyalty tests "can be a little triggering sometimes," Ari says, reminding her of when she was cheated on. Seeing the lengths some people will go in order to hide what they're doing can also be disturbing.
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When testing someone, Ari stays in frequent communication with the person who hired her. One man, she recalls, wrote to her as he cuddled with his significant other.
"They will write to their partners, and they will love bomb them. They'll write the sweetest, sweetest message. 'I love you.' " Ari says. "And then, at the same time, they're writing to me, trying to meet up and asking me either for pictures or for things like that."
Jermaine, another loyalty tester, says a tough part of the job is reporting back to the customer about their partner's behavior. He became a loyalty tester about a year ago, after his ex cheated on him with a close friend.
"Obviously, our job is to try to make them cheat if they're going to cheat, but we don't want them to cheat, you know what I mean?" he says. "At the end of the day, we don't want to break hearts."
A woman who goes by the username Vylette, who has appeared as a loyalty tester in viral videos on YouTube, says she understands the criticism loyalty tests receive and doesn't think they're the right choice for everyone.
"It's just the same thing as looking through your partner's phone," she says. "Is it a good idea? I don't know. But don't do it unless you're willing to get your feelings hurt."
What a loyalty test really means
Since starting his business, Balasingham says he's viewed hundreds, if not thousands, of loyalty tests. Many people, he suspects, don't see a point in being faithful when they feel someone better is just a swipe or an Instagram DM away.
Chan says she understands the pain that would drive someone to seek out a loyalty test. Still, she doesn't think it's a good idea.
"When I discovered my ex was cheating, I went to extreme lengths seeking validation and proof," she says. "But loyalty tests are really about avoiding something more difficult: vulnerability. It's easier to hire a stranger to 'test' your partner than to have an honest conversation about your insecurities and fears."
More: 8 signs your significant other is having an affair
Rather than get a loyalty test, she recommends "communicating like a healthy adult."
"True security doesn't come from constantly verifying your partner's behavior − it comes from building a foundation where both people feel safe enough to be honest, even about difficult topics," Chan says. "The businesses offering these services are monetizing insecurity rather than promoting healthy solutions."