Bachelor Grant Ellis Insists He Did Not Lead on His Runner-Up Despite Saying I Love You: 'I Led with My Heart' (Exclusive)
The Bachelor
Grant Ellis found love during Monday's Bachelor finale, but only one woman received a proposal: Juliana Pasquarosa. As a result, it was venture capitalist Litia Garr who left as the season 29 runner-up.
Litia, 31, received an 'I love you' from Grant, 31, during their fantasy suite date in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, but he says his heart ultimately belonged to Juliana, 28.
'That was the hardest thing, but ultimately it was the best thing for Litia,' the former professional basketball player tells PEOPLE in this week's issue in a joint interview with Juliana. 'For me to be in a relationship where somebody may be loving me, but I'm not receiving it the way that I want or the way that I need, it would be unfair to that person.'
Related: The Bachelor Season 29 Finale: Read the Full Recap of How Grant Ellis Decided Between Juliana and Litia
In the March 24 finale, Litia confessed her feelings for Grant and said she was in love with him. She also told him she saw herself having a family with him one day.
But Grant had to break the news that he was going in a different direction, telling her: "I love you very much, I want to give you everything that you deserve but I'm not your person. And I'm sorry that it got to this point. My emotional connection is stronger someone else."
Litia said she was "disappointed" by the news and snapped back at Grant: "You're different than I thought."
Reflecting on the difficult moment, Grant admits it 'was hard' letting Litia down — and the pressure of doing so led to him 'feeling torn' right up to the very end.
'You meet somebody's family, you spend time with somebody, you hear their story, and then you have to tell them on what's supposed to be the biggest day of their life that they're not your person,' he explains. 'That's what caused me to have a little bit of stress, a little bit of confusion on how to do this.'
Related: Bachelor Grant Wonders If He 'Should Have Waited a Little Longer' to Say 'I Love You' to 1 Woman During Fantasy Suites
'I don't feel like I misled - I feel like I led with my heart,' Grant adds about expressing his feelings for Litia earlier in the season. 'I feel like it would be misleading if I made promises, but I expressed my feelings, which I do every day. I've been in those shoes, so I know where she's coming from and I'll always come from a place of compassion.'
'I definitely cared, and I definitely did have those feelings, but ultimately Juliana is my person,' he says. 'Sometimes the hardest things come out with the best reward.'
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Juliana was always aware of Grant's connection with Litia and knew there was a chance she wouldn't be selected.
'I did feel so strong, but I also was aware that there was another girl involved,' she says of the process. 'She must feel as secure as I do to stay in it this long. It was nervousness from my end, but I also just felt so secure that I was like, it's a 50-50 chance here.'
Watching the show revealed to the client-services associate that Grant and Litia had an 'undeniable' connection, but that it differed from her own.
'Litia is such an amazing person - I think it just comes down to what type of life you wanted to live afterwards,' Juliana explains. 'I know Litia's timeframe for settling down is different than mine was, but it's comparison-by-circumstance. That doesn't take anything away from me, and I hope that that doesn't take anything away from her.'
'I can understand there being love there for her and love there for me, but I think it's just two different types of love,' she adds.
Related: Bachelor Grant's 'Biggest Concern' Is Exposed on Hometowns as 1 Finalist Refuses to Have Sex with Him in Fantasy Suites
Grant promises that he 'gave this journey everything I could' and couldn't be happier with his final decision.
'This relationship is something that's for me, and ultimately that led to my decision and my clarity,' he says about his experience on the show. 'When you're The Bachelor, and more extensively when you're the second Black Bachelor ever, there are some extenuating circumstances that play a role.'
'I did what made me happy, not what was going to make anybody else happy, not what was going to make my dad happy or my mom happy, or my sister or my aunt, anybody,' he adds. 'I did what was going to make me happy.'
'You just needed some time to get there,' Juliana chimes in, as Grant confirms he 'just needed some time to get there.'The Bachelor is streaming now on Hulu.
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