The 5-minute trick men use that undermines women in meetings

Fast Company

2 days ago

Theftosterone (noun): When a woman shares an idea with her colleagues, perhaps in a meeting, and five minutes later, a man says almost the exact same thing, posing it as his own original idea in an effort to bolster his professional reputation at the expense of hers. (This aggression is exacerbated when the collective response to the woman is lackluster but the man gets credit for 'his' great suggestion and is all too happy to bask in the praise without the slightest sense of guilt.)
It doesn't matter how smart or accomplished the woman is, men still conversationally steamroll them and sometimes outright steal their ideas. We call this phenomenon 'theftosterone.'
It happens even in the highest court in the land. Transcripts of fifteen years of Supreme Court oral arguments show that as more women have joined the court, male justices have increased their interruptions of the female justices. Many male justices interrupt female justices at double-digit rates per term, but the reverse is almost never true. During a twelve-year span, when women made up 24% of the bench, 32% of interruptions were of the female justices, but only 4% were by female justices. Strangely, as the gender imbalance on the court has lessened over the past several years, the incidents of this have not gone down. In fact they've increased.
When we asked people in a survey for their firsthand experience observing original-thought theft, over 72% said they had indeed seen it take place. Reassuringly, the percentage of times it was called out, either on the spot or reported afterward, was 10% higher than incidents when the perpetrator was not called out on it.
THE MOST VULNERABLE
Kate White, the legendary editor in chief of Cosmopolitan, says that if you're a good idea person, you need to be extra vigilant in anticipating theftosterone and warding it off before it happens.
'I came up the ranks as an idea person. And let me tell you, those who are not idea people often steal your ideas out of desperation.'
There are two ways to protect against that, White says. Whenever possible, put ideas in writing and cc people. If your boss wants you to generate ideas in meetings, use a claim-the-floor strategy.
'You can say something like 'If I could have everyone's attention, I'd like to take a moment to provide some vital information that I think will be eye-opening and of tremendous value.' Don't just blurt out something like 'Maybe we should employ that strategy in California too.' It might get lost in the back-and-forth and then someone (probably a guy) will bring it up five minutes later as their own.
'Instead, gain the floor, and say, 'I have an idea. I think we should consider employing this strategy in California, and let me offer some research that explains why.' Don't start with all the research. Women tend to show their homework first.'
BLOCKING THE PUNCH
But what if the theftosterone has already been perpetrated? Here are three possible courses of action:
Amplification: This requires the cooperation and involvement of women colleagues. Juliet Eilperin, a reporter for the Washington Post, spoke with women who worked in the Obama administration who devised an antidote to theftosterone. It's a technique they called 'amplification.' Here's how it works. If a woman in a meeting makes a suggestion or presents an idea, another woman immediately acknowledges it, repeats it, and gives her credit. This shuts down any possibility that a man in the meeting can later stake claim to the idea for himself. The plan was executed with so much success that women in the administration noticed that Obama began calling on women in meetings more often.
Claiming Affirmation: If assembling a team of female support isn't possible for amplification, and you're forced to go it alone, it's up to you to speak up. The lines you should have in your back pocket are 'I'm glad you agree with the point I just made' or 'It's so gratifying to get your affirmation of my suggestion from a moment ago.'
Male Advocates: Women would benefit from a more equitable enforcement of communication justice. This requires that men also be on high alert for the appropriation of women's ideas at work. When they spot it, they can say, 'That sounds like exactly what Kristin said just a few minutes ago. Do you have anything more that you could add to that?' or 'I'm glad to see that you're aligned with the idea Kristin shared a little earlier.'
BALANCING GENDER COMMUNICATION
Unlike imitation, theftosterone is not the sincerest form of flattery. It is what its name suggests: an unjust appropriation of a woman's voice.
Given how long men have been engaging in this behavior, the prospect of eliminating or even dramatically curtailing these aggressions seems remote. For years the struggle to be properly respected seemed to be solely a battle for women to fight, and when they elected to go to the mat, often the consequences of being labeled militant or 'nasty' outweighed the benefits.
Men need to recognize the role they can and must play in combating this scourge to bring about more equity in communication in the workplace.
Adapted from by Bill McGowan and Juliana Silva. Copyright © 2025 by Bill McGowan and Juliana Silva. Reprinted courtesy of Harper Business, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. Available wherever books are sold.