The Travel Hacks That Help Me Thrive as a Mom With High-Functioning Anxiety

Yahoo

3 days ago

An anxiety therapist and mom of two shares simple skills that could help you keep your calm on your next vacation.
As a mental health therapist, educator, and advocate, I spend a lot of time helping others manage stress and anxiety, but that doesn't mean I'm exempt from it. In fact, as a mom of two young boys (ages 1 and 4) who lives with high-functioning anxiety, traveling can feel like a minefield of mental load, overstimulation, and unpredictable chaos. I know I'm not alone, and that's why I'm opening up to share what has personally worked for me in these recent years.
I want to be clear: I'm not here to tell you what to do. This isn't a list of perfect solutions, but if you find one, let me know! This is a personal and ongoing practice that continues to evolve with each trip we take and I do not anticipate that all of these will be a good fit for you. What I am sharing is my real-life perspective in the hopes that it encourages you to reflect on your needs, and to explore ways you can feel more supported and regulated while on the go. Whether you're preparing for your first family trip or your fiftieth, I hope you find something in here that makes it feel even a little bit easier, lighter, or more grounded. Because you deserve that, and so do your kids.
1. The master family packing list: My mental load MVP
I no longer start from scratch. I keep a running family packing list that I tweak based on what we learn from each trip. Before every journey, I revisit it, strike through what doesn't apply, and update it, but never delete. That history helps me remember what worked, what didn't, and what I definitely don't want to forget again. It's a shared note with my husband, which means I'm not the sole keeper of every toothbrush, sunscreen, or swim diaper.
2. Using 'Landing Zones' One Week Out
A week before we leave, I place open baskets in designated areas (usually one in the laundry room and one in the kitchen) to start collecting items as I think of them. It makes packing feel like a slow build rather than a sprint. Also, it weirdly feels like I'm doing less laundry when I toss fresh clothes straight into the zone.
3. Priority Post-Its
Sometimes I wonder if loving post-its is a solid sign that you might have high-functioning anxiety. I use them throughout my life to find and maintain my focus and packing is no different. As the trip nears, I start using bright sticky notes to capture lingering to-dos. I still use our shared digital list, but post-its are more 'in our face' near the packing zones. Over time it's become habit to just saunter over and check them when I have a moment and of course it feels great to cross something off! These stickies help me highlight priority actions that could get lost in a long, mostly-checked note.
4. Slow and Steady Packing
Packing is mentally exhausting to me. I've stopped trying to do it all in one day. Spreading it over the week allows space to rest, think, pivot, or offer grace and skip a day if needed. This also allows us more time to find the items we need and save last-minute trips to the store.
5. I accept that something will be forgotten
As a recovering perfectionist, I tell myself: Something will be forgotten, and that's okay. That mindset shift directs my energy toward what absolutely cannot be missed, like passports, IDs, phones, and medications. My husband is even allowed to check that I have my ID as many times as he wants: a rule we lovingly adopted after I forgot it on three separate trips (including our engagement getaway).
6. Snacks on snacks on snacks
Even with buffets and restaurants on the horizon, I always pack a stash of snacks we know and trust. From 6 a.m. hunger to post-nap meltdowns in line, they're a consistent comfort in unpredictable moments. I am working on reminding myself that the snacks are for me too, and having snacks available helps us to listen and tend to our body cues no matter what time our reservations are.
7. Bags within bags (With Labels!)
I'm sure you're not surprised that I'm going to celebrate the glory that is packing cubes, but I'm talking a bit more than that. I sort our things in smaller labeled pouches inside our luggage: diapers, toiletries, toys, electronics, clothes, etc. This prevents the chaotic 'everything everywhere' rummaging, which I find particularly overstimulating, especially when little hands are pulling at me. The labels also help everyone pitch in without needing to ask, 'Where's the [insert necessity]?'
8. Keep it cool
A grumpy, overheated child (or adult) can derail a day. We travel with wearable fans, stroller clip-ons, and have at least one for each of us. I've learned to never underestimate the power of a breeze, especially since we have yet to travel to a destination that doesn't trend temperatures in the 90s.
9. Engaging, Low-Screen Activities
We're not anti-boredom, or anti-screens but we do set aside special activities just for travel. What makes them special? They're not necessarily different from what our kids use on a normal day, they have just been tucked away for at least a few weeks prior to the trip. You can go buy all the new trendy gadgets if that works for your family, but simply paying attention to what our kiddos' current interests are and popping an old item out tends to feel special to them due to the novelty. Because let's be honest: most adults can't sit still and be mindful for 15 minutes. Why do we expect it from our kids?
10. Sleep is sacred
We structure our travel days around sleep routines as much as possible. Of course it's not realistic all of the time, but being mindful of their natural rhythms helps us to give them a sense of consistency when there are so many other variables. It gives our kids a chance to reset, and us, too. Those quiet minutes are when we regroup, reset, or just breathe.
11. This trip will never happen again
It may sound intense, but this mindset keeps me grounded. Every trip, no matter how messy, is a fleeting moment in our family timeline. Even the chaotic bits are pieces of a story we won't relive again. Like this morning: we were wrestling our toddler into new Star Wars sneakers to check if they finally fit. He was not amused and I could focus on that meltdown but someday, those shoes won't fit at all and he will not be crying over putting shoes on (well, at least I think). Remembering that helps me stay present.
12. Building a village
Not everyone has a built-in support network, and that is hard traveling or not. We've worked hard to cultivate ours, it wasn't just there for us as we anticipated. A village isn't just who gives to you, but who you give to as well. Whether it's grandparents, fellow parents or trusted friends, having extra hands and hearts makes all the difference.
13. Inner child connection
Through reparenting and generational healing, I've learned to tap into my inner child. It serves me everyday, but especially so on child-centric trips. This lens helps me at both ends of the emotion spectrum. It gives me perspective on my kids' needs and frustrations and it just helps me marvel at the little joys around me.
14. Go-to regulation skills
What helps you reset? What helps your kids? Bring those skills with you, or adapt them for travel. Lately, we've been loving 'superhero breaths' (our 4-year-old's favorite), watching clouds drift, and using my anxiring. That ring has been a surprising calm companion for me and a curiosity for the kids.
15. Redefining me time
I always pack a journal and a book, even if I only get 10 minutes to myself. When someone says, 'I've got the kids—take a break,' I'm learning to accept that offer. It's not always my instinct, but I'm leaning into the moments meant for me too. They may look quite different than they once did, but in this chapter relaxation isn't my top goal, it's creating core memories.
Parenting with anxiety is already complicated and traveling can sprinkle a little extra challenge. These simple little strategies have helped me in recent years and I hope they inspire you to think about what works best for your family.