32 Secrets People Will Never Tell Their Parents
"I lied to my parents about my high school results to avoid going to college. If they found out now, they'd make me quit my job as an engineer and force me back to get a degree."
"My wedding was really just a big party for family and friends because we secretly got married at a courthouse weeks beforehand. The only person who knows is my best friend, who officiated the (symbolic) ceremony."
"I'm a pretty normal-looking blue-collar worker; A big 'straight' dude. I'm currently working as a male sex worker. No one who knows me would guess that."
"I blew a six-figure inheritance from my grandma on living the good life and some bad investments."
"I have a complete sleeve on my left arm. When they visit, I put on long sleeves."
"That my wife and I are swingers, and every time we ask them to babysit, it's because we have a sex party or kink event to attend that evening. They always ask what we are up to, and I have endless excuses."
"I (26f) moved to the UK to study. They don't know a boy (24m) moved to the UK with me. They don't know there's a boy. We've been living together for two years, sharing bills and everything. Like, we might as well be married. Now they are trying to get me to talk to some boys they think would be a good fit for me — typical Indian arranged marriage shit. Gotta slide this boy into a planned conversation."
"My parents are fundamentalist Christians who lean far right. They will never know I'm a leftist atheist. It's just not worth the strife. My wife and I just fake it once a year when we see them."
"I'm getting a vasectomy on Friday, and they will never have grandchildren from me."
"They still think I graduated from university. I actually dropped out in my final year and have been living a double life ever since, pretending I have a degree and a normal job."
"I am living with a guy whom I consider my husband of two years. We love each other very much and live in another country. I met him here. We also have a cat. My parents are demanding that I make something out of myself first before settling down, and want to make sure that I don't end up like my bio mom, who got pregnant at 18. I have always been a good student, and I graduated from university and studied abroad. But they still try to control my life. I'm 26 and most of my friends are already married with kids on the way, but I cannot even introduce my partner to my family because of how they will react. Growing up, they have always made me feel like such an utter failure, even if I make a small mistake."
"How disappointed I am in them. They are both Trump supporters, even after raising me to be an independent woman. Even after I adopted my Black daughter. Even after I gave birth to my biracial daughter using IVF. The amount of sadness, anger, and disappointment I feel for them is sometimes overwhelming."
"I didn't forget about Father's Day. I purposely didn't get him anything because he preferred to go on holiday with his friend rather than be there to support me during my first marathon, which was a big achievement for me. He hasn't been present for many moments in my life, and I resent him for it. Once I move out, I'm really thinking of cutting him out of my life like I have done for my terrible mum as well."
"I have my motorcycle license and a motorcycle. I've had it for about two months now. I'm 24. My mother hates motorcycles with a passion. I know that telling her will mean she will 24/7 assume that I A) am on the bike, and B) am going to crash and die on the bike. It seems cruel to dump that stress on her. I don't live at home and can't come up with a single benefit to her knowing about its existence, so…it's a secret."
"I'm probably going to adopt rather than carry. My mom is going to lose her mind."
"I am gay. I won't tell them because it might as well undo all the hard work I've done academically, professionally, and physically. They won't see my accomplishments, just the fact that I like other men. I'd rather stay in the closet than have a black cloud over every dinner and gathering."
"My husband and I are poly. We've been happily married for over a decade. I just know it would bother my mom to the point where she would bring it up all the time. She would assume, quite wrongly, that this is something my husband pushed for and that I'm a victim, and she would not listen to anything I'd say that countered her narrative. Jesus, she's exhausting."
"I invested my money from a young age. I met a random banker on the train who advised me to invest. Best decision ever. Now my net worth is a lot higher than theirs. But they'll never know. No one knew what I had saved until I got married, and then my wife knew."
"That I've been using Ozempic since October. As a teen, I struggled with bulimia, and I'm sure they would be concerned about this. But I'm 40 now and have struggled with my weight, ranging from overweight to obese throughout adulthood. GLP-1 meds are something I've waited my whole life for. I hit my goal and am maintaining, and I feel SO FREE mentally."
"That I've been engaged for a month. They will never think anyone is good enough for me, my mom especially. I just want to be happy in my relationship and not have to deal with a negative reaction from telling them quite yet."
"I'm currently getting radiation but can't tell my mom because she is also getting radiation and I don't want to worry her."
"They think they pressured me into dropping a lawsuit against their 'best friend.' They're wrong. It's still ongoing, and I have zero regrets."
"I'm polyamorous and have been for the past year and a half. They have no idea, but maybe someday I will get enough courage to tell them."
"I once 'borrowed' my mom's car to go on a date. She thinks someone hit the bumper in a parking lot. It was me. And also…the mailbox. And a shopping cart. And maybe a squirrel."
"I have British citizenship. I moved here, and my mum wasn't supportive. So I know she would ruin the moment for me. I am so happy, though!"
"Oh, there are so many. The main one right now is that I'm a lesbian and polyamorous. They think it's immoral to sleep with someone you're not married to, and I'm sleeping with four women I'm not even dating, in addition to the one I am dating."
"I am currently doing my Master's degree part-time. Both my parents think that I don't have the discipline for that. That's why I only told friends and my brothers."
"I failed English in ninth grade on purpose because I wanted to know what summer school was like. I was curious."
"I work with/for my dad and am interviewing for other jobs. He has been passingly supportive in the past, but he is also the company president, and I know that leaving the company would be tough."
"My girlfriend is actually my wife. Neither of us wanted to do a wedding, but my company gives her health, vision, and dental for being married to me."
"I have a suspended license for not paying insurance because I'm broke AF."
And: "That I caused a dryer fire when I was 10. I was told to clean out the lint catcher every time I did laundry, but wasn't clear on what to do with it, and was too lazy to ask, so I just tossed it behind the dryer. And then one day, there was smoke and then fire. Luckily, I had an extinguisher on hand, and no real damage was done, but I had to pretend to be equally shocked at the massive amount of dryer lint behind the dryer that caught fire. It was chalked up to a dryer malfunction."
What's a secret you have absolutely no desire to tell your parents? Will you tell us?! If so, head to the comments or share anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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