New mom furious at husband for choosing friends and barbecue over her and their newborn

Yahoo

17-05-2025

A Reddit drama is lighting up social media as a mom of a newborn says she's "going crazy" over her husband's choices and their current family challenges, with a clinical psychologist contacted for insight on the dilemma.
"Gave birth six weeks ago and it's been rough," wrote the mom in a Reddit post.
"Recovering from emergency C-section, plus they think I may have a liver pancreas issue as I keep being unwell — plus my mental health took a dive, let alone newborn care!"
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She continued, "My newborn is screaming anything from 2-4 hours every night. Trying everything to soothe and remedy her, as [it's] most likely colic. So far, no meds or methods have changed her behavior," the mom added.
"We also have a 6-year-old who has very different needs. While the 6-week-old screams, the 6-year-old needs a bath, a bedtime story, etc."
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The mother said the couple have been "tag teaming this."
They've been having one parent tend to one child "to make sure both are OK," she wrote.
"But it's still been unbelievably hard on all of us."
Now comes an invitation and a husband's choices that sparked debate.
"His guy friends invited him to a BBQ tonight and it would literally be him leaving just as [our] 6-week-old kicks off," the mom wrote.
"So I said, 'Please don't go. I need help at that time.' Keeping in mind his friends meet regularly and it's not like if he doesn't do it today, that's it for a year," she added.
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The husband replied, "Babies cry, just cope, I'm going," the young mother wrote.
She said she "tried to point out that I know they cry, but it's not about coping, and I felt it was really selfish that he was choosing to pick his friends over his family. I even said if it was any other time I wouldn't have a problem with it."
Her husband, she said, has "gone back to work, and I'm coping with that — it's just literally that time of night that's tricky."
But "he kept saying that I was being 'controlling' by not letting him see his friends. It turned into a really bad moment for us where I was devastated to be called 'controlling.' I really don't think that's what I'm trying to do and that he just couldn't see it from my point of view."
The mom said that the next day, her husband apologized.
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He said "he was completely wrong and [he] could see how bad things would be if he went and said he wouldn't go."
However, she added, "fast forward to today — where he tells me he's going and if I can't cope, he'll take the baby and drop her at his [mom's] to look after."
The problem, the young mother wrote, is that his mother "isn't close by, doesn't know all the things we are trying colic-wise, like the meds, etc., and would have to deal with a screaming baby. Also, my baby doesn't know her and is only 6 weeks, so all round, not a good solution."
She said that her husband "also knows things are a bit tricky between me and his mom, so I feel like this was a bit manipulative on his part. . . . He knows I'd never pick his mom as an option but can now say he's found a solution where he can go."
The at-her-wit's-end young mother wrote, "I feel like I'm going crazy here. I just want some support from my partner at the time of the day it's most difficult with our baby!"
Fox News Digital reached out a California-based clinical psychologist for insight as other users on Reddit shared their own reactions and comments.
One person in a top-rated comment wrote, "'You are welcome to attend your BBQ tonight. Tomorrow night, you will stay home with baby and child while I go out and have my break.' - I can guarantee he won't agree to that," the user added.
"The comment 'babies cry, just cope' would have him sleeping in his mother's house if he was my husband," said another person.
Said yet another user on the platform, "Sorry, but your husband is being completely unreasonable. We have 2 kids … We have an agreement that if either of us goes out, it's after 7 p.m. once both are in bed. Which means we both still get a social life without leaving the other in chaos."
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The same person added, "It's not much to ask him to make a few sacrifices … Especially as he can still go out a bit later."
Another commenter was far more worked up about the situation. "This is so infuriating to read. I'm so sorry he is treating you like this after everything you've been through."
"If I had a partner who carried my child for 9 months, had major abdominal surgery and suffered ongoing health issues to ensure the safe delivery of my child — I'd be worshipping the ground they walked on for the rest of my life."
The same person added, "He's being incredibly selfish, invalidating your feelings and there's just no excuse for this other than pure selfishness."
Still another person shared a more nuanced reaction.
"I can see it's hard on dads, too, and I don't blame him for wanting a break. But that's exactly the reason why he needs to stay. He can't expect you to go through that alone! He can look for other moments to recharge and meet his mates, but not during rush hour."Original article source: New mom furious at husband for choosing friends and barbecue over her and their newborn