The Weekend: If I wrote a self-help book…
I'll be honest, it's 3.50pm on Friday and I have no meaningful thoughts to share on the state of the world because it is sunny in winter and that seems to throw everything off (in the best way). So instead, since we had a great and thoughtful essay on self-help books this week, and the deputy prime minister called 100,000 New Zealanders 'dropkicks', here are five things that I would put in a self-help book to improve your life.
1. Wear a singlet
Yes it will make you feel like a five-year-old but if you are wearing a shirt or sweater and it's freezing, wear a singlet! A simple woollen white singlet can be the difference between feeling cosy and feeling a constant chill. I didn't think it would work so well after years of neglect but turns out even a singlet under a t-shirt will keep you warm.
2. Eat a kransky
Sorry to the vegetarians but a debased single kransky from the local bakery on a cold day is truly one of life's greatest pleasures. It's kind of weird to order and weirder to eat but absolutely worth it.
3. Learn how to fold a fitted sheet
This is extremely non-essential but learning how to fold a fitted sheet has huge morale payoff for what is a very basic set of movements. Add this tiny skill to boost your sense of self-worth every time you wash your sheets.
4. Realise you are in fact an elderly person in your 30s
Reading those first three off-the-cuff items has confirmed once and for all that I am, and have always been, a 65-year-old man. Everyone has a true age and once you know yours it can set you free. How old are you, really?
5. Write a card
A genuine sentiment in a handwritten card will outlive every trend. Stuck for what to get someone? Start with a card. A handwritten card alongside literally anything is a good gift. And with everyone existing in a world of typed text, what a joy to see someone's personality in their handwriting.
Anyway, that's my self-help book and now it's time for my afternoon nap.
The stories Spinoff readers spent the most time with this week
A rare and compelling example of Main Character syndrome lasting a whole week.
Feedback of the week
On Help Me Hera: There aren't enough hours in the day
'The world lost one Ozzy this week; Shelley wrote about another: 'Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair.' We are all just ripples and the pond is small.'
'Great commentary here. Several years ago I developed a unit of work for the Level 3 English writing portfolio. It unpacked the conventions, students engaged with self-help texts, then wrote their own. It was hugely successful in a few ways. 1. It reiterated the tried and tested formula that drives all self-help. 2. Students developed a critical understanding of the formulaic nature of self-help. 3. They wrote fantastic texts that spoke to their own experience.. from 'How to be Slick and pick up chicks' to 'Living with a bi-polar parent'. And for me, I still enjoy the occasional SH book (Oliver Burkeman in particular), but I approach the genre with healthy scepticism. They have their place, and surely human nature is grounded in seeking continuous improvement? '
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The Weekend: If I wrote a self-help book…
Madeleine Chapman reflects on the week that was. I'll be honest, it's 3.50pm on Friday and I have no meaningful thoughts to share on the state of the world because it is sunny in winter and that seems to throw everything off (in the best way). So instead, since we had a great and thoughtful essay on self-help books this week, and the deputy prime minister called 100,000 New Zealanders 'dropkicks', here are five things that I would put in a self-help book to improve your life. 1. Wear a singlet Yes it will make you feel like a five-year-old but if you are wearing a shirt or sweater and it's freezing, wear a singlet! A simple woollen white singlet can be the difference between feeling cosy and feeling a constant chill. I didn't think it would work so well after years of neglect but turns out even a singlet under a t-shirt will keep you warm. 2. Eat a kransky Sorry to the vegetarians but a debased single kransky from the local bakery on a cold day is truly one of life's greatest pleasures. It's kind of weird to order and weirder to eat but absolutely worth it. 3. Learn how to fold a fitted sheet This is extremely non-essential but learning how to fold a fitted sheet has huge morale payoff for what is a very basic set of movements. Add this tiny skill to boost your sense of self-worth every time you wash your sheets. 4. Realise you are in fact an elderly person in your 30s Reading those first three off-the-cuff items has confirmed once and for all that I am, and have always been, a 65-year-old man. Everyone has a true age and once you know yours it can set you free. How old are you, really? 5. Write a card A genuine sentiment in a handwritten card will outlive every trend. Stuck for what to get someone? Start with a card. A handwritten card alongside literally anything is a good gift. And with everyone existing in a world of typed text, what a joy to see someone's personality in their handwriting. Anyway, that's my self-help book and now it's time for my afternoon nap. The stories Spinoff readers spent the most time with this week A rare and compelling example of Main Character syndrome lasting a whole week. Feedback of the week On Help Me Hera: There aren't enough hours in the day 'The world lost one Ozzy this week; Shelley wrote about another: 'Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair.' We are all just ripples and the pond is small.' 'Great commentary here. Several years ago I developed a unit of work for the Level 3 English writing portfolio. It unpacked the conventions, students engaged with self-help texts, then wrote their own. It was hugely successful in a few ways. 1. It reiterated the tried and tested formula that drives all self-help. 2. Students developed a critical understanding of the formulaic nature of self-help. 3. They wrote fantastic texts that spoke to their own experience.. from 'How to be Slick and pick up chicks' to 'Living with a bi-polar parent'. And for me, I still enjoy the occasional SH book (Oliver Burkeman in particular), but I approach the genre with healthy scepticism. They have their place, and surely human nature is grounded in seeking continuous improvement? '
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