A Husband Asks, 'Can Someone Confirm My Wife's Spending Is Delusional?' He Points To $6,769 Spent On Dining Out In Just 90 Days
A recent Reddit post from a frustrated husband in the r/Dave Ramsey subreddit caught people's attention after asking if his wife's spending habits were out of line. His main complaint? Over the last 90 days, the family spent $6,769 on dining out alone.
'Luckily we are positive net worth,' he wrote. 'But she is delaying our retirement saying her spending is normal for having 2 kids. I cover probably 80-90% of essentials from my side.'
According to his breakdown, they also spent $1,330 on groceries during the same period, along with $1,230 on supplies, $1,250 on healthcare, $560 on gas, and $1,200 on other expenses.
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The response was swift and nearly unanimous. One commenter was particularly direct: 'Dining out isn't just delusional, it's irresponsible and incredibly selfish. That's almost $30k a year.' They also pointed out that if they placed that money with a financial advisor, 'at $2k a month, and they earned an average of 12%, you have almost $650k in 15 years.'
Another person added their own math of how much they could get over 30 years if they invested that money: '$6769 was for 3 months, so $27k/year. Turns into $3 mil in 30 years at 8%.'
Others were comparing themselves: 'We make $380k a year and eat out about $500/month. That dining out number is terrifying.'
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While many were focused on the spending itself, others pushed the husband to reconsider how he approached the issue.
'Stop saying 'I cover most of the bills...' you are we,' one person said, pointing to the importance of shared financial responsibility in a marriage, something Dave Ramsey often teaches and preaches.
Another chimed in with, 'This reads more like a marriage issue than a money issue. Does she handle all of the child rearing and housework? Get off the spreadsheet and be the partner your wife needs and communicate through this issue.'
Still, others called for practical changes instead of blame. 'Cut dining out to a quarter of that and add 1-2 grand to groceries and cook more – problem solved.'Many asked for more context, like income and lifestyle. Some speculated that the high numbers may be inflated by convenience apps like DoorDash. The original poster later clarified that his wife eats out '2x a day at nice restaurants always with extra appetiser or entree with some meal for kids.'
Another commenter couldn't believe it: 'That is not normal. Eating out is luxury, a treat. Eating out twice a day is not normal. She is choosing eating out over your future.'
Others shared how they made it work. 'We make $240k a year and it was our New Year's resolution to eat out once a month,' one user wrote. 'We spend maybe $100/month eating out and that's because we're trying.'
In the end, what this comes down to is that the spending problem the poster has isn't just about dollars and cents. 'Delusional is not a word to use if you want to have a happy marriage,' one person advised. 'Some work to be done on spending and discussing spending.'
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This article A Husband Asks, 'Can Someone Confirm My Wife's Spending Is Delusional?' He Points To $6,769 Spent On Dining Out In Just 90 Days originally appeared on Benzinga.com
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The thing about anxiety with PTSD, Gina explained, is that one can become very calm in chaos. "You think clear, sharp and exact. Stillness and boredom are terrifying, but the world blowing up clears the mind. And I think that's why I was able to spot flaws in my treatment plans and question the motivations for them that were nonsensical to me." A key pep talk Despite the medical professionals who "only talked at" Gina and recalled in her book, she also highlighted in her book a few individuals that gave her hope. One was a "Dr. Lee" who was doing a rotation as a hospitalist at SMC, while doing his actual residency at Roswell Park Comprehensive Cancer Center in Buffalo. He now works in Texas. "Dr. Lee was my magic. It's like he came in at the beginning with the best pre-game pep talk, and I followed it the rest of my journey. He was young and didn't have the ego or entitlement I've seen in so many other oncologists I encountered. He was enthusiastic about killing cancer. Stoked. Raring to go. Running into work to kill some cancer!" Gina said that he was also the first and last doctor to root for her. "Which likely sounds odd. But the doctors who saw me get better weren't impressed. It wasn't remarkable to them. They just thought I'd die." The biggest gaping wound Gina said she encountered in oncology was the lack of "heart" she saw in it. "The point is, if there were more Dr. Lee's, I honestly believe more people would survive. Caring spills over into treatment plans, into feeling valued, into a bond of trust, and helps avert not distrusting the doctors, the medicine, the conspiracies." Last month, Gina sent Dr. Lee a copy of her book with a note inside. "And now I feel a bit lighter. It was, in some way, vital for me to let him know how deeply he mattered, that I didn't die, and the part he played in that. And how many fans he has out there in the world now." Helping others As an advocate, Gina said she is contacted nearly every day by people who become familiar with her story. "I'm absolutely thrilled others find something of merit in the book. I didn't want to publish it. It was never my intent. But I felt a deep sense of survivor's guilt, and also I had seen and heard things that might help others avoid some of the unnecessary suffering I endured." Gina said that doctors still regard her as a Stage 4 cancer patient. "The reason is, is that somewhere in my body could be invisible, undetectable, latent cancer cells waiting to come back. The problem with that is that everybody has that. You do, he does," she said, pointing to Seth. I probably don't, because that Keytruda is bad ass!" Her situation is an issue each time she goes to a doctor, "From people being surprised, to the question of whether or not my being screened for other cancers is necessary because, I'm dying." She then laughed, and with well-earned sarcasm added, "I'm always 'dying.' Like, damn! I can't get a break."
