Dear Richard Madeley: My girlfriend is taking me on an active holiday, but I prefer cultural breaks
My girlfriend has delightfully surprised me with a week away in Malta, a place I've spoken fondly about to her in the past, to celebrate my birthday in September. Unfortunately, the thing I like about it is the landscape and culture, but what it turns out to be more widely known for is active sport and clubbing – both of which happen to be enthusiasms of hers. So the resort we're staying at is not at all well situated to explore neolithic settlements or baroque churches, but we're booked in for a windsurfing course and even a Padi scuba-diving certificate. I have nothing against any of this but I'd rather save a few bob and do it in Dorset, frankly.
Meanwhile, if I do manage to get away and explore some catacombs, I'm worried that I'll either annoy my girlfriend by leaving her alone with her paddleboard, or drag her along and leave her with the impression that I'm a dusty old bore – which I probably am, but I thought I'd managed to conceal the fact pretty well thus far. Is there a way we can both get what we want out of this while still getting to enjoy one another's company?
– D, via telegraph.co.uk
Dear D,
Of course there is! There's nothing wrong with having diverse interests! And anyway, clearly you share many of hers so there's plenty of overlap here.
So stop worrying about what she might think of you if you declare your private passions to her. She loves you for who you are. I'd say being happy to go scuba diving or paddleboarding in the morning and then keen to wander round some ruins after lunch makes you a more interesting person, much less an old bore!
So sit down and agree a rough schedule of how you'll divide your days in Malta. Be a gentleman and err on the side of generosity; offer a few more action hours than dusty diversions. But who knows? She may love a dive into the past as much as a dip in the Med.
Send me a postcard!
You can find more of Richard Madeley's advice here or submit your own dilemma below.
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