10 films from Scotland that Donald Trump might just love
Braveheart
Braveheart (Image: free) Some newspaper critic once said this movie 'serves up a great big steaming pile of haggis,' that it got its dates all wrong, that Wallace came from Renfrewshire – not some Highland hut – and that everyone looks like they're appearing in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome and points out that Wallace's girlfriend has perfect teeth. But didn't they also have very good dentists in the 13th century? Fake news, baby. And why was this movie deemed a little homophobic? Who's to say Edward 2nd didn't sprance around the French palace in baby blue crushed velvet? As you know, I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist, and I think the movie was right on the money. And for those who say Wallace couldn't have impregnated Isabella of France, because she would have been nine at the time in 1304, well that's just the sort of fake news you would expect from Macron's people.
Gregory's Girl
Gregory's Girl (Image: free) At first, I didn't like this guy, Gregory. He couldn't score, and unlike me the blondes didn't take to him at all. And he clearly wasn't a team player, like me. But it's a great movie because it teaches young guys what foxes women can be, that they're all Hilarys and Kamalas at heart, like the one he ended up, from the pop band who sings Happy Birthday all time. And if you're not careful women will have you lying on the grass and doing hand dancing. And what good is that?
Trainspotting
Begbie bar fight scene from Trainspotting. Filmed in the Crosslands bar, Glasgow (Image: unknown) Doncha just love the honesty in this movie, when Rent Boy declares it's sh*** being Scottish, and points out how Scotland has been colonised by England. And what he was really saying was the truth; let's not be colonised by England, but by America. Make Scotland Great Again. And hats with MSGA will be available in my golf shop in Turnberry any day now. Fifty bucks each. Awesome baby. A bigly idea.
Restless Natives
Restless Natives (Image: free) Beautiful story. About two lovable rogues – they could be JD Vance and me, couldn't they? – although JD is definitely the one in the clown mask, who take money from the tourists who have been leeching off their beautiful country for the longest time. And why shouldn't you tariff the tourists? And if they help make Scotland great again, how can you not love it?
Greyfriar's Bobby
My old Scots friend Janey Godley one described me as a 'Greyfriar's Bobby', and I took it to mean that she thought me a very, very loyal, sorta guy, the kind who find themselves surrounded each day by local kids all wearing big saucer-shaped Bisto caps and nice ladies from Morningside who were kind, although not that good looking. And I guess she thought I was the kinda guy who would sleep in a cold, damp cemetery for 14 years to be close to the person I loved most. And it's true. I would sleep next to me any day.
Whisky Galore
Whisky Galore (Image: free)
My Mama loved this movie, being an island girl herself, which is all about showing the big guys you can't be pushed around, and if you have to break a few little laws then why not? I can't stand Scotch myself, but Mama loved a glass with her porridge in the morning. And I guess Diet Coke Galore doesn't have the same ring.
Great Escape
I love prison movies. I love anything to do with Alcatraz, any way you can lock up people who eat cats. And I know this is not really a Scottish movie, but it featured only these wonderful Scottish actors, who were so brave and so defiant, like Mr Hudson from Upstairs Downstairs, one of the Men From Uncle and Wee Shughie McFee from Crossroads - who all led the way to freedom against evil with nothing but kitchen spoons to dig their way out. But we've got shovels these days to show China what we're made of. Yes, I know the Escape guys all died at the end, but don't we all at some time? Although I'm told if you drink enough bleach you can push that off almost indefinitely.
The Wicker Man
The Wicker Man (Image: free) I love the theme of human sacrifice, because all of us humans have to sacrifice something, right? That's what I said to Zebedee, or Zelensky, or whatever his name is. I said, 'Look at me, I've sacrificed my freedom as an individual to make America great again, I've given up on my ego.' He looked at me in awe, which told me he agreed totally. But back to the movie. Isn't it great that men are portrayed in roles of power and women are hypersexualized and isn't this the way it should be? What's the point of sexy underwear if you can't wear it in a movie? I know Scottish underwear relies on a lot of heavy flannel, but that can work too. But wasn't it great that Britt Ekland didn't have to wear any, although I hear Rod wasn't too happy about it, but then he doesn't play golf, and he used to wear Spandex trousers so who the hell cares?
Geordie
Young handsome guy with great hair and a beautiful smile becomes champion of the world... You can see why I love this film. Okay, I've never slept with my feet out the window on a cold winter's night, except the time Stormy ran over my toes with the golf buggy. What's also great about this movie is Geordie wasn't seduced by the Russian with the big biceps – that would have been a terrible thing – but the moral of this movie is sometimes you've gotta kiss a little ass to get what you want, which is the cute babe with the fruit in her hat and world domination.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Daily Mirror
3 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
Maura Higgins lands another major TV role in the US as she's set for stateside future
Reality TV star Maura Higgins has landed a new hosting role in the U.S. as the face of Aftersun for the upcoming second season of Love Island Games, following her success on Love Island USA and The Traitors US Maura Higgins is continuing her rise in American television, landing yet another high-profile role just weeks after appearing on The Traitors US. The Irish presenter, 34, has officially been confirmed as the host of the newly commissioned Aftersun series for the upcoming second season of Love Island Games. Having already impressed as the face of Aftersun for Love Island USA last year, Maura has firmly established herself as a fan favourite with U.S. audiences and producers have clearly taken notice. According to reports, the former Love Island UK star will soon be jetting off to Fiji, where Love Island Games will begin filming next month. It comes after Maura's defiant stance as she's set for awkward Danny Jones run-in after their controversial BRIT Awards kiss. A TV insider explained: 'The first series of Love Island Games didn't include an Aftersun show, as it was filmed in advance and broadcast later. But this time, it's going out in real time like the main show. "That's why bosses have decided to create a dedicated Aftersun, and Maura was the obvious choice to host it.' The source added to The Sun: 'Maura was thrilled to be asked to do it, as Games is a totally separate show so there was no guarantee she would be offered it. When bosses approached her, she was over the moon because it proves how happy they are with her and she is seen as a key fixture in the Love Island USA family.' This new role builds on Maura's growing success in the U.S., following her recent stint on The Traitors US, which was filmed in Scotland. There, she rubbed shoulders with American reality royalty, including Real Housewives stars Lisa Rinna and Caroline Stanbury. Producers clearly view Maura as an essential part of the Love Island franchise's American expansion. Her on-screen charm and quick wit have helped her stand out in a saturated TV landscape and it's no surprise she's becoming a regular face across U.S. reality formats. According to insiders, Maura is eager to continue working in America and sees this latest gig as another major step toward building a long-term career there. Love Island Games itself brings together stars from various international versions of the show, placing them under one roof where, unlike the traditional format, they'll compete in physical and mental challenges for the win. While Love Island Games was previously hosted by Maya Jama, she has since stepped down. Ariana Madix, best known for Vanderpump Rules, will now take over main hosting duties, with Maura leading the spin-off.
Daily Record
3 hours ago
- Daily Record
M&D's to host tribute concert to country's favourite female artists
The 'Flowers and Friendship Bracelets' outdoor event will take place on Sunday, September 7, from noon until 6pm. M&D's Scotland's Theme Park is to host a tribute concert featuring the nation's favourite female artists line-up – Taylor Swift, Sabrina Carpenter, Olivia Rodrigo and Miley Cyrus. The 'Flowers and Friendship Bracelets' outdoor event will take place on Sunday, September 7, from noon until 6pm. As well as the show, there will be the opportunity to enjoy a Guest DJ, games and prizes, merchandise and memorabilia and street food. Jensen Taylor Connelly, M&D's Director, said: 'This promises to be a great family afternoon of singing, dancing and all-round fun.' A special package price of £39.45 is available if visitors also wish to buy a wristband. Located next to Strathclyde Country Park, M&D's is one of Scotland's top visitor attractions. The park features thrill rides and family rides, as well as a host of activities, for all age groups. Special features include Amazonia tropical indoor rainforest with lots of exotic plants and animals, Devil's Island Adventure Golf, Cosmic Bowl, a ten-pin bowling alley, and Krazy Congo Soft Play. There are also many food outlets to enjoy, from snacks to restaurant meals, including the award winning American themed diner Monterey Jack's. Car parking and entry into the Theme Park is free. Further information is available from * Don't miss the latest headlines from around Lanarkshire. Sign up to our newsletters here.
Scotsman
7 hours ago
- Scotsman
Edinburgh Fringe theatre reviews #CHARLOTTESVILLE Ohio The Monkeypox Gospel The Ego
Sign up to our Arts and Culture newsletter, get the latest news and reviews from our specialist arts writers Sign up Thank you for signing up! Did you know with a Digital Subscription to The Scotsman, you can get unlimited access to the website including our premium content, as well as benefiting from fewer ads, loyalty rewards and much more. Learn More Sorry, there seem to be some issues. Please try again later. Submitting... #CHARLOTTESVILLE ★★★★ Pleasance Courtyard (Venue 33) until 25 August Ohio ★★★★ Assembly Roxy (Venue 139) until 24 August With the United States thrown into turmoil by Donald Trump's second prsidency, it's fascinating to see those American dramas of doubt, division and aggressive certainty play out across the Edinburgh Fringe; and nowhere more so than Priyanka Shetty's impassioned solo show #Charlottesville, produced by Yellow Raincoat and Richard Jordan in association with the Pleasance. Subtitled 'The play that Trump does not want you to see!', Shetty's show is a powerful docudrama about the events of 2017 in the city of Charlottesville, home of the University of Virginia, which Shetty witnessed as a young first year theatre student of Indian origin. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad Ohio | Oliver Rosser Enraged by a city council decision to remove some statues and memorials commemorating Confederate leaders, the American far right, emboldened by Trump's election the previous year, vowed to stage massive demonstrations in the normally quiet university city; and amid the torchlit white supremacist marches and huge counter-demonstrations that followed, one woman demonstrator was killed by a man who drove his car into the crowd. Shetty chronicles all this in vivid narrative style, with sharp and telling use of projected video images. Alongside this shocking story of a quiet town confronted with an overt politics of hatred, though, she also has a tale to tell of the more subtle oppression and marginalisation she suffers at the hands of her university department, who see nothing wrong with directors repeatedly refusing to cast her for student productions because of her skin colour, and aggressively forbid her to make a show about the Charlottesville events. The result is a riveting tale, told with intelligence and feeling, that cuts to the heart of the lingering racism and overt white supremacism that is helping to reshape American politics. And Shetty's powerful stage presence is a living reminder both of the profound crisis the United states faces, and of its enduring capacity, despite Trump's best efforts, to offer new Americans from across the world the chance to find, and raise, their own voices. In their show Ohio, at Assembly Roxy, US indie-folk duo The Bengsons - Shaun and Abigail - offer their audiences a much more meditative insight into the tensions that divide American society. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad In what they call 'an ecstatic grief concert' - a one-hour cycle of songs punctuated by narrative - they chart their own personal journeys from childhoods shaped by religious faith (hers light-touch Jewish, his in a strict and devout Christian sect) through a long youthful process of doubt, rebellion, rejection, and rage, towards some kind of new accommodation with the aspects of life that are both spiritual and unknowable. The experience that shapes them includes Sean's increasing profound deafness, inherited from his preacher father, and the premature birth of their son, when the baby's life hangs in the balance. None of this, though, ever seems to diminish the magnificent, raw strength of their music, of Shaun's guitar and Abigail's wild, magnificent singing, which ranges from the gentlest of dances and laments to heart-tearing rebel yells of rage and grief; in a show whose music comes from the very heart of American culture - religious, folk-based, touched by soul and blues - yet always succeeds in forging it into something brilliant, and new. Joyce McMillan The Monkeypox Gospel ★★★ Underbelly Cowgate (Venue 61) until 24 August There's a lot going on in Ngofeen Mputubwele's debut stage show The Monkeypox Gospel; and so there should be, given the importance of the subjects he tackles, which include the science of pandemics, the politics of vaccination, and the impact of lingering colonial attitudes on human health and health care. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad His subject is the monkeypox (now renamed m-pox) epidemic of 2022; but since m-pox, like AIDS, is often transmitted by sex between gay men, Mputubwele fears that by writing honestly about it, he will finally expose himself to complete exclusion from his Congolese family and community. The problem with the show, though, is that in a short 60 minutes, Mputubwele - who is an award-nominated podcast producer, as well as a journalist and lawyer - throws absolutely everything at it, from a massively noisy mixed soundtrack that sometimes drowns out his words (although he is a big man with a big voice), to awkward episodes in which he works through his traumas - as a gay man from a strictly religious background, and a black African living in New York - by performing extracts from Verdi's La Traviata, and dancing to the strains of Tchaikovsky's ballet music. That he has a powerful story to tell is not in doubt; but before he brings it to the stage again, he needs to declutter and re-focus the narrative, and then allow it - through him - to speak for itself. Joyce McMillan The Ego ★★★ ZOO Playground (Venue 186) until 24 August The Ego takes time to heat up, but as with a frog in water, there's no escaping the message at its heart when Anemone Valcke and Verona Verbakel bring proceedings to the boil. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad In fact, the play isn't about the ego at all (the softest, most fragile part of a person, as they understand it), but of internalised misogyny and #MeToo. The action comprises videos captured during or after significant life-events – like when Verbakel's part in a movie gets cut, or when she calls her mum in tears before going onstage to do a kissing scene – and direct conversations with the audience. There is an unsettling commentary on informed consent performed to the tune of Marilyn Manson, and a message, written over Google Docs, reveals the soft, fragile centre of the play (what it is, what it isn't, why it is, and where it came from). This is overlayed by footage of manatees, who by law, cannot be harmed. What would it be to have the same rights as a manatee, they ask? Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad The overall shape of the piece means the final moments are somewhat anticlimactic, but each layer holds intrigue and meaning, and its conclusion poses powerful questions, nonetheless. Josephine Balfour-Oatts Jello Brain ★★★ Greenside @ George Street (Venue 236) until 23 August What starts off as a show about an anxious young woman's fear of getting of getting Alzheimer's disease, following her mother's diagnosis at the age of 55, turns into not so much a demystification of the illness and its effects, but a celebration of a charming mother-daughter relationship that prevails through the challenges. Written and performed by Natalie Grove, it begins with Natalie's Mum going to live in a place called 'Memory Care' and Natalie taking Xanex to deal with her worry of also getting the disease which, conversely, might in the long-term also make her ill. Grove's head is initially filled with the facts she's researched online about the disease, which are adding to her anxiety but also her knowledge. Her worries slowly alleviate as she and her mum adjust to their new lives, with the world of the care home, with its supporting cast of characters and their activities, evoked in a way that feels pleasantly domestic rather than offputtingly institutional. Advertisement Hide Ad Advertisement Hide Ad A day-to-day charting of a series of events, including Natalie's trips to see her psychologist, rather than a piece with a more focussed story, it's refreshing to see such a positive piece about Alzheimer's and caring, with a heartfelt script performed by a warm and identifiable narrator with compassion and, by the end, strength. Sally Stott
