High-concept farewells and the eye of the beholder

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21-05-2025

LEAVING DOS AND DON'TS
In the Selhurst Park stands on Tuesday, a celebration of Crystal Palace's historic FA Cup win was awaited. It was duly delivered, after Eberechi Eze completed a 4-2 win over Wolves with one of those goals only he can score, all grace and precision, off-the-cuff football played with south London swing. To the final whistle then, and a chance for the FA Cup to be run round Selhurst, hopefully with a bit more care than when Graeme Souness and Liverpool chums were lobbing around the old Football League Championship trophy like they were Orrell back-row forwards. The silverware took a while to arrive but when it did, it was in the arms of Joel Ward, making his final appearance as a Palace player, his 364th game. So long, Joel, and thanks for all the fish.
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But instead of another FA Cup beano, a club that had waited 101 years to win anything, give or take the ZDS Cup, launched a celebration of … Joel Ward. You know, Joel Ward, played 364 times for Crystal Palace, defender bloke, been there 13 years. Chairman Steve Parish was beside himself, wiping a tear when the player was subbed off in the 71st minute. 'You've been a rock star,' he sobbed. Now, not even his better half, at pitch-side holding their baby, born just last Thursday, can believe Joel Ward, a man who has, beyond Croydon perhaps, been able to live life as incognito as the rest of us, is anything like Nick Cave or Ozzy Osbourne, let alone Billy Idol. Perhaps, though, in football, those who survive long enough deserve the tearful send-off. After all, as Liverpool's psychodrama over Trent Alexander-Arnold's departure suggests, football loyalty is in the eye of the beholder. Trent, by the by, runs a foundation for those, unlike him, who never made the grade and felt the cruelty of a profession that breaks hearts harder than any rock star.
While Ward was being deified, at Eastlands a high-concept farewell was being bade to Kevin De Bruyne, a true Manchester City great, the best midfielder of the last decade in the Premier League, perhaps second only to Colin Bell in club lore. Thing is, De Bruyne has been making noises that he would have preferred to stay. Ward, 35, meanwhile has featured in just three matches all season. Both have been cut from wage bills and given the soft landing of a leaving party at the closure of their employment contracts. Talking of which: Pep Guardiola, who stopped short of sobbing 'he is so nice' of King Kev as he once did when jibbing out Sergio Agüero, was busy throwing the blue door marked 'Do One' wide open, having spent £200m in January. 'I don't want to leave five or six players in the freezer,' he roared of his expensive squad-fillers. 'I don't want that. I will quit. Make a shorter squad, I will stay. It's impossible for my soul.' OK. Right. Does Jack Grealish get a leaving do?
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Scott Murray from 8pm BST for hot Bigger Vase final minute-by-minute coverage of Tottenham 0-1 Manchester United (aet).
QUOTE OF THE DAY
'The celebrations went on a long time. We had a few Jägerbombs and were up pretty late! The buzz has been amazing over the last few days. I've pretty much been crying ever since we won' – Palace fan Nicola Webb talks to Ed Aarons as he catches up with the non-stop party in south London.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
May I be the first of 1,057 to point out that yesterday's tea-time email contained line after line of unreadable coded text. There was also something wrong after the letters section' – Joseph Brown (and no others).
Can I be one of 1,057 pedants to suggest that in order not to make a laughing stock of the Greatest League in the World™ by the quality (?) of their play, maybe Spurs and Manchester United should agree to go straight to penalties?' – Richard Hirst (and no other pedants).
A doff of the cap to The Knowledge for this wonderful comparison on the Bigger Vase final (aka: two bald men fighting over a comb): 'Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester United, who meet in Bilbao … are 17th and 16th in the Premier League, respectively … equivalent to Oldham Athletic playing Southampton in the Uefa Cup final of 1992'' – Noble Francis.
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Send letters to [e-mail]. Today's letter o' the day winner is … Joseph Brown, who lands some Football Weekly merch. We'll be in touch. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
The latest Women's Football Weekly podcast has a very special guest in the shape of new Chelsea treble winner Lucy Bronze. Listen now. There's also a new edition of Football Weekly fresh out of the box.
BE THERE THEN
The Gallagher brothers have been responsible for much, from hardened/fake Manc accents, that groin-thrusting gait that passes for a walk and phrases like 'our kid' and 'mad fer it'. Last year, after 15 years of hurling abuse at each other over the airwaves and social media abominations, they seemingly introduced another unwelcome concept to the Great British Public. Those wanting to relive the mid-1990s at Oasis reunion gigs found themselves being charged multiples of what was already agreed to be a steep face value. 'Dynamic pricing', this was known as, 'surge pricing' being another term. An 'absolute bloody rip-off' its most common description, as witnessed at Wembley last weekend. So hurrah for the reports that next year's Air Miles World Cup will see fans offered tickets along 'dynamic' lines, prices variable according to supply and demand. Fifa declined to confirm its plans, a spokesman telling the Times: 'Ticket sales for the Fifa World Cup 2026 are expected to begin in Q3 of 2025 via the Fifa website.'
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
AFC Wimbledon midfielder Sam Hutchinson has revealed he had a heart attack during the game where his goal helped seal a League Two playoff place. 'It happened in the sixth minute, I carried on and played the full 90,' he said. 'The specialist in London has told me there's no problem with playing football again, so I'm happy.'
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Blackburn have confirmed their withdrawal from the WSL2 and will re-enter at least two tiers lower, with the owners unwilling to fund meeting the division's new minimum licence requirement.
England, Scotland, Wales and the Republic of Ireland will not be handed automatic qualification for Euro 2028 … although a back-door route to the finals will be offered to the two best-ranked hosts who don't make it.
Crystal Palace are hopeful they won't fall foul of multi-club ownership regulations if both they and, as seems likely, Lyon qualify for next season's Bigger Vase. Lyon's owner, John Textor, also owns 45% of Palace through his Eagle Holdings company. Uefa suits will examine Palace's situation but the club are confident that the fact that Steve Parish (the chairman), David Blitzer and Josh Harris own an equal stake to Tex … we lost you after the last sentence, didn't we?
Chelsea are determined to keep Real Madrid's mitts off Enzo Fernández amid the standard-issue media noise in the Spanish capital about them targeting the Argentina midfielder. Madrid are also sniffing around Eintracht Frankfurt's Hugo Larsson and Real Sociedad's Martín Zubimendi.
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And Oldham are one game from returning to the Football League after winning 3-0 at York in their National League playoff semi-final. They face the winners of Wednesday's match between Forest Green and Southend in the final.
STILL WANT MORE?
Nick Ames delivers this special report from Kyiv on how amputee football is helping Ukraine's war-wounded. Do read.
Tom Sanderson and Josué Seixas wonder whether Carlo Ancelotti and Brazil could be a glorious, perfect match.
We've got hot Bigger Vase content coming out of our ears: Jonathan Wilson's preview tells us why this much-mocked final matters, Daniel Harris bigs up Ruben Amorim's emotional intelligence, David Hytner senses Ange Postecoglou is resigned to his fate whether Spurs win or lose, and you can test your knowledge of English clubs in European finals with our matchday quiz.
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What are the worst European finals based on finalists' domestic position? Yes, the Knowledge knows.
And in the Premier League race for Europe, check out who's in, who's out and who could yet shake it all about.
MEMORY LANE
Celtic fans in Seville get their heads down wherever they can after the 2003 Big Vase final defeat by José Mourinho's Porto. An estimated 80,000 Bhoys supporters descended on the city for their first European final since 1970, many without either tickets or hotel rooms. Martin O'Neill's side lost an absorbing, spiky final 3-2, Henrik Larsson twice equalising before Derlei settled it in extra time. Porto, and Mourinho, would go on to win Big Cup the following season while Celtic fans could at least find small consolation in winning Fifa's 2003 Fair Play Award for their festive, convivial behaviour in Andalusia.
'WE DON'T LIVE IN THE SAME WORLD …'