Lawyer says there's a word people always use when they lie

Dublin Live

21-05-2025

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A legal expert and communication specialist has revealed a crucial keyword that he claims is often used by liars, which could help you spot deceit in seconds.
On the latest episode of the podcast Diary of a CEO, Jefferson Fisher offered up some insights into the kinds of language to watch out for as clear indicators of lying, reports the Mirror.
Jefferson, who's not only a trial lawyer but also a guru in communication, hosts his own show, The Jefferson Fisher Podcast. There, he shares tips on how to communicate with confidence.
Plus, he's penned the much-anticipated book The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More, queuing up for release.
In their chat, he shared various speaking tricks that exude authority, and even courtroom-proven methods that can tip the scales in legal disputes or day-to-day chit-chat. Importantly, he called attention to a certain word that fibbers seem attached to.
He let on that using 'extremes' is a big red flag. Words such as 'never' and 'always' are case in point.
To drive his point home, he had Steven ask him: "Were you texting while you were driving that day?" To which Jefferson answered: "No, I never text. Never text when I drive."
He went on to explain: "Notice I said a big word. I said 'never'. Never is an extreme. Extremes are a dead giveaway that they're usually not telling the truth. Everybody texts when they drive at some point in time, even in your car. Never and always. It's always or never true. So that's a big one."
Delving into the tell-tale signs of dishonesty, Jefferson noted: "Second of all, I answered really quickly. I didn't breathe, think about it or try to actually show you that I was trying to remember in time. I gave you a really immediate response."
He further advised Steven on how to handle liars by slowly repeating their questions, asking: "You never text while driving?" Jefferson explained the discomfort this causes for liars, saying: "So what they'll do most often is they'll say, 'well, I mean sometimes I do', because now they hinge on that word 'never'.
"And then they realise, 'oh, that's a risk word'. And they'll sort of backtrack and say, 'I mean, sometimes I do, I mean, maybe, but hardly ever'."
Jefferson added: "When that happens, what you typically want to do is give them an out. Now they've put themselves into a corner and they're looking for an out. And a way to do that is to say, 'if you were texting, it's OK'."
Jefferson highlights the importance of being cautious with definitive words like 'never' and 'always', and points out that silence can be a powerful tool in conversations, especially when dealing with dishonest or manipulative individuals. A pause can force the other person to rethink their words, potentially exposing inconsistencies.
He explained: "Silence is the ultimate nemesis of liars because they create dialogues in their minds for you."
He pointed out that silence can cause unease, leading people to try and fill the void, often betraying their deceit or uncertainty.
He further advised: "When somebody is belittling you or being rude or being disrespectful, what we typically want to do is throw it right back because now we got to win. Instead of that, here's what I would want you to do: one, you're going to have five to seven seconds of silence; two, you're going to ask them to say it again because a lot of time in arguments people take it back."
In addition to spotting potential liars, Jefferson offers advice on how to communicate effectively during conflicts. He emphasises the influence of our word choices on our interactions and the shaping of relationships and experiences.
He cautions against the urge to simply win an argument, which can harm relationships, and suggests viewing disagreements as chances to understand and resolve issues.
He stresses the need to regulate breathing and remain calm in confrontational situations, preventing the fight-or-flight response. "I teach that you never want to win an argument. When you look to win an argument, you will often lose the relationship," he added.
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