Green Shoots: You're not a stone
Our world is changing so fast it makes a thinking person's head spin. It's hard enough keeping up with factual information that should shape one's thinking. We also have to deal with fake news and the incessant repetition of falsehoods by manipulative politicians and billionaires until the public start believing them to be the truth. And boy is there a never- ending torrent of information to process.
I am grateful for having been exposed to information about life and our coexistence as species on this earth. You wouldn't believe it, but at one point in my life I was a homophobe. It took an evening of deep conversation with a certain Barney Beck that started me on the path to change. He helped a young and naïve me to learn about the inherent dignity that is present in everyone, regardless of station in life. And frankly, who made other people's sexuality my business?
I was also quite sexist, I think. Some of my journal entries used pretty objectifying language to describe women. It's cringeworthy to read that stuff now. A lifetime of engagement since then with so many feminists, activists, and plain decent humans has certainly allowed me to find a more dignified way of relating to people.
You may also not believe that I had dreams of being really rich, although the aspirations to a 3-litre V6 Ford Cortina might give the lie to that. I did want the nice things in life, and early on in my activism would often bunk organisational meetings to drink wine, eat pizza, and talk philosophical shite with my boujie friends at university.
But in revisiting this old journal, I was happy to see that my general ideological outlook even then was – dare I say it - progressive. I mused about post-cold war Europe and 'how the East Europeans, who by and large have a strong church theology and embrace neo- liberalism – probably as a reaction to communism, will cope with integration into the EU.'
And then in discussions on reconciliation and impunity, particularly in the context of our TRC, I bemoaned the preoccupation with 'technical and legal measures rather than political and human responses' to historical human rights abuses. In my work encounters, my assessment of the people I met was rooted in whether they were good for the socialist revolution or not. A bit simplistic, sure, but I'm quite happy that I've been able to keep the principles of justice, human rights, and dignity as key aspects of who I am, even as I've embraced the need to change other parts of me.
It was John Patterson who said 'Only fools and dead men don't change their minds. Fools won't, and dead men can't .' We must be careful how we navigate this world and its demands. We must also embrace the principles that make us who we are. But when those beliefs marginalise others or foster injustice, then we cannot dig in our heels and resist change. We must be open to new experiences that may change what we believe. After all,
we are not stones, and I certainly am neither a fool nor dead.
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IOL News
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- IOL News
Want happier kids? Steal this Dutch parenting formula
One of UNICEF's most surprising findings was that Dutch children often describe their friends as kind and helpful. Image: Rudy Hartono/pexels Imagine a place where little kids cycle freely through city streets, where families gather around the dinner table every evening without the rush, and where school feels less like a battlefield and more like a safe space to grow. It sounds idyllic and, according to the 2025 UNICEF report on childhood well-being, it's real. The Netherlands once again tops the list for having the happiest children in the world. But what exactly makes Dutch kids so uniquely content? And what can we learn from Dutch parenting that could bring more joy to children everywhere? What the 2025 UNICEF report reveals The latest UNICEF report, which measured childhood well-being in 43 countries across the EU and the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), looked beyond material wealth to focus on subjective well-being, how children feel about their own lives. Dutch children scored remarkably high, while sadly, children in countries like Turkey, Chile and the United States found themselves closer to the bottom of the list, reflecting higher stress levels, fewer feelings of support, and greater inequality. This report doesn't just rank countries, it shines a light on the deeper question: What does it take to raise truly happy children? The secret to Dutch happiness: freedom, family and feeling heard Dutch parenting has been studied by researchers worldwide, including Dr Ruut Veenhoven from Erasmus University Rotterdam, a leading happiness researcher. What stands out isn't flashy gadgets or expensive extracurricular activities but an everyday culture that values balance, emotional support and autonomy. Video Player is loading. Play Video Play Unmute Current Time 0:00 / Duration -:- Loaded : 0% Stream Type LIVE Seek to live, currently behind live LIVE Remaining Time - 0:00 This is a modal window. Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window. Text Color White Black Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Transparent Window Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Transparent Semi-Transparent Opaque Font Size 50% 75% 100% 125% 150% 175% 200% 300% 400% Text Edge Style None Raised Depressed Uniform Dropshadow Font Family Proportional Sans-Serif Monospace Sans-Serif Proportional Serif Monospace Serif Casual Script Small Caps Reset restore all settings to the default values Done Close Modal Dialog End of dialog window. Advertisement Video Player is loading. Play Video Play Unmute Current Time 0:00 / Duration -:- Loaded : 0% Stream Type LIVE Seek to live, currently behind live LIVE Remaining Time - 0:00 This is a modal window. Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window. Text Color White Black Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Transparent Window Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Transparent Semi-Transparent Opaque Font Size 50% 75% 100% 125% 150% 175% 200% 300% 400% Text Edge Style None Raised Depressed Uniform Dropshadow Font Family Proportional Sans-Serif Monospace Sans-Serif Proportional Serif Monospace Serif Casual Script Small Caps Reset restore all settings to the default values Done Close Modal Dialog End of dialog window. Next Stay Close ✕ Happiness is less about adding more and more, and more about creating the right environment. Image: manu mangalassery/pexels Freedom of movement In the Netherlands, it's common to see kids as young as four or five on bikes, riding to school, the park, or even running errands. According to Dutch parents interviewed by "The Guardian", this freedom teaches responsibility and confidence early on. It's a stark contrast to many countries where children are driven everywhere due to safety fears. Family life matters Dutch families are famous for their "gezelligheid", a word that loosely translates to 'cosiness' or 'togetherness'. Mealtimes are sacred, and open conversation is routine. Dutch families eat together, often not just for special occasions. UNICEF found that nearly 85% of Dutch 15-year-olds share meals with their families several times a week. It's not about fancy dinners but daily moments of connection where children feel listened to and supported. Dutch families eat together, often not just for special occasions. UNICEF found that nearly 85% of Dutch 15-year-olds share meals with their families several times a week. Image: August de Richelieu/pexels Less school stress, more balance Education is important, but it isn't everything. Dutch students report some of the lowest stress levels around schoolwork compared to peers in other countries, according to the OECD's Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA). There's less emphasis on high-stakes testing and more focus on social skills, creativity and enjoying childhood. Support for every child While the Netherlands isn't the richest nation, it has strong social policies ensuring most children have access to quality healthcare and education, no matter their family income. According to the Dutch Central Bureau of Statistics, child poverty remains among the lowest in Europe. Friendship and kindness matter too. One of UNICEF's most surprising findings was that Dutch children often describe their friends as kind and helpful. This points to a culture where competition is balanced by cooperation and where children learn that emotional intelligence is just as valuable as grades. An important factor in levels of satisfaction is the quality of social relationships. In comparison to other European countries, Switzerland scores relatively low. One in four children surveyed said that their parents spend less than two hours a week interacting with them. "Inconsistent communication within a family can negatively affect children's emotional well-being," the report stated. What about the world's unhappiest children? While Dutch children enjoy strong support, the picture is different elsewhere. The UNICEF report found that children in Turkey and Chile, for instance, often experience higher poverty rates, less emotional support, and greater school-related anxiety. In the United States, rising inequality and academic pressure are among factors linked to lower childhood well-being. Research shows that kids these days are more likely to be raised with screens, which creates a variety of health issues such as obesity and poor posture. Image: Julia M Cameron /pexels In the US, for example, only 60% of children say they feel listened to at home, and mental health challenges among teens are on the rise. There's a direct link between social inequality, stress, and unhappiness. As a parent, teacher or simply someone who cares about children, the lessons from the Netherlands feel surprisingly universal and refreshingly simple: Prioritise daily connection over perfection. Even a short chat at dinner helps children feel heard. Give age-appropriate freedom. Allowing kids to be kids to play and interact with other children, explore safely, builds independence. Balance school with play. Encourage creativity and friendships, not just grades. Support every child, not just some. Strong communities and social safety nets matter. Research shows that kids these days are more likely to be raised with screens, which creates a variety of health issues, such as obesity and poor posture. 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IOL News
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- IOL News
Green Shoots: You're not a stone
Moving house forces you to clear out the junk you've been hoarding for decades. I came across a journal I kept in 1997. My colleagues had paid for a ticket for my new wife to join me in Ireland after I had finished a three-week business trip to Austria and England. As I read the reflections of my twenty something self, I cringed at some of the crap that occupied my thoughts back then. But I was also able to think about how we evolve as humans. I remember someone saying, 'You're not a stone, you can change'. Our world is changing so fast it makes a thinking person's head spin. It's hard enough keeping up with factual information that should shape one's thinking. We also have to deal with fake news and the incessant repetition of falsehoods by manipulative politicians and billionaires until the public start believing them to be the truth. And boy is there a never- ending torrent of information to process. I am grateful for having been exposed to information about life and our coexistence as species on this earth. You wouldn't believe it, but at one point in my life I was a homophobe. It took an evening of deep conversation with a certain Barney Beck that started me on the path to change. He helped a young and naïve me to learn about the inherent dignity that is present in everyone, regardless of station in life. And frankly, who made other people's sexuality my business? I was also quite sexist, I think. Some of my journal entries used pretty objectifying language to describe women. It's cringeworthy to read that stuff now. A lifetime of engagement since then with so many feminists, activists, and plain decent humans has certainly allowed me to find a more dignified way of relating to people. You may also not believe that I had dreams of being really rich, although the aspirations to a 3-litre V6 Ford Cortina might give the lie to that. I did want the nice things in life, and early on in my activism would often bunk organisational meetings to drink wine, eat pizza, and talk philosophical shite with my boujie friends at university. But in revisiting this old journal, I was happy to see that my general ideological outlook even then was – dare I say it - progressive. I mused about post-cold war Europe and 'how the East Europeans, who by and large have a strong church theology and embrace neo- liberalism – probably as a reaction to communism, will cope with integration into the EU.' And then in discussions on reconciliation and impunity, particularly in the context of our TRC, I bemoaned the preoccupation with 'technical and legal measures rather than political and human responses' to historical human rights abuses. In my work encounters, my assessment of the people I met was rooted in whether they were good for the socialist revolution or not. A bit simplistic, sure, but I'm quite happy that I've been able to keep the principles of justice, human rights, and dignity as key aspects of who I am, even as I've embraced the need to change other parts of me. It was John Patterson who said 'Only fools and dead men don't change their minds. Fools won't, and dead men can't .' We must be careful how we navigate this world and its demands. We must also embrace the principles that make us who we are. But when those beliefs marginalise others or foster injustice, then we cannot dig in our heels and resist change. We must be open to new experiences that may change what we believe. After all, we are not stones, and I certainly am neither a fool nor dead.
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One dead, more missing after Tunisian migrant boat shipwrecked off Italy
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