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Harvard-trained expert: This mindset shift can make you 'a lot happier' and more fulfilled—most people don't know about it

Harvard-trained expert: This mindset shift can make you 'a lot happier' and more fulfilled—most people don't know about it

CNBC16-07-2025
Happiness expert Laurie Santos gets nauseous when she thinks about dying, she says — but she regularly does it, anyway.
People who habitually considering their own mortality and the brevity of life — like how any meal or conversation could be your last — are generally happier than those who don't, Santos said during a live taping of the "Last Meal with Tom Nash podcast" on March 12.
The reason: Remembering that life is short can gently force you to be more present, gracious and experience life to the fullest, said Santos, a Yale University professor and Harvard University-trained psychologist.
You shouldn't overly dwell on the state of your health or how you're going to die, she added.
"The research shows if you think about death just enough ... [that mindset] can actually make you psychologically a lot happier," Santos said during the event. "Every once and while, remembering [that life] is finite — I could go at any moment — reminds you to make the best of [your life]."Santos isn't the only researcher who recommends considering your own mortality as a way to be happier. If you live like you're dying, you'll prioritize more of life's small pleasures that you might otherwise take for granted, according to professional "death doula" Alua Arthur.
For Arthur — a bestselling author and the founder of Going With Grace, a Los Angeles-based end-of-life planning and support organization — that means anything from eating more "delicious food" to speaking "a little bit more clearly about how I feel," she said on a February episode of the "A Bit of Optimism" podcast.
Similarly, reflecting on how you'd live your life differently if you only had months to live is a good practice, author and hospice nurse Julie McFadden told CNBC Make It on November 12. It can help clarify your priorities and what you want most out of life, she said.
"Talking about death, thinking about your own mortality, to me, really helps you live better, live more meaningful[ly], and I think that helps you die more peacefully," said McFadden, who wrote the 2024 book "Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully."
Thinking about death is just one way to readjust your mindset around happiness, Santos said. She offered another method: Focus more on your physical, emotional and social wellbeing than on money, work or fame. When you can, prioritize activities like sleeping in, chatting with a friend or journaling, she said.
"We're often pursuing that stuff at opportunity cost of the stuff that really does matter," said Santos. "Social connection, rest, taking care of our bodies, some physical exercise, eating healthier ... These are the things that really do move the needle behaviorally."
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Ivy League-trained psychologist: These 3 'very powerful' steps will build your emotional endurance
Ivy League-trained psychologist: These 3 'very powerful' steps will build your emotional endurance

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time3 hours ago

  • CNBC

Ivy League-trained psychologist: These 3 'very powerful' steps will build your emotional endurance

Being recognized as a resilient person feels great. Weathering the tough moments that build resilience is less glamorous. Developing emotional endurance, or the ability to withstand stress or discomfort without letting negative emotions overtake you, can help that process feel less grueling and more like an opportunity to learn and grow, Columbia University-trained psychologist Becky Kennedy tells CNBC Make It. "The more we understand that the frustration and struggle is actually a sign we're [learning], not a sign we're doing something wrong, it becomes a lot easier to tolerate," says Kennedy, a New York-based clinical psychologist and host of the "Good Inside" podcast. You can get to this state of understanding by following these three steps, she says: In a February Instagram Reel, Kennedy explained that learning happens between the space of knowing and not knowing something. You don't always instantly gain knowledge where you previously had none, and the process of getting from Point A to Point B can feel frustrating, says Kennedy. When you start a new job, for example, you'll likely have to learn some new skills, make some mistakes and foster some new connections before you start to feel comfortable in the role. The path between knowing and not knowing something is much more like a winding line than a straight and narrow one, Kennedy says — so when you feel frustrated, remind yourself that learning takes time. You can do this by drawing or looking at a simple diagram of the scenario, like this one: "Having some type of visual for yourself is very, very helpful," says Kennedy. "Every time you're trying to do something new, when your voice starts to say, 'Oh, this is too hard. I can't figure it out,' the visual gives you a different story. 'I'm in the learning space. I'm kind of exactly where I'm supposed to be. It just happens to be tricky.'" If you constantly tell yourself "this is too hard" or "I'm never going to get there," you start to believe it. Shift your internal dialogue to something more positive, supportive and understanding, advises Kennedy. Try telling yourself something like this, she says: "This feels hard because it is hard. I haven't figured it out yet, and I can keep trying. I can take a breath and take a break and come back when I'm ready." Even if you don't believe what you're telling yourself, going through the motions — essentially, faking it until you make it — will help, because the practice will help you feel more confident over time, she says. "Self-talk is very powerful. How we end up feeling about something is a combination of the feeling and how we talk to ourselves about the feeling, and we can't change our feelings, but we can change how we talk to ourselves about our feelings," says Kennedy. Positive self-talk can improve your coping skills and build your mental strength, allowing you to put in more effort than you think you're capable of, according to a 2020 study published in the Journal of Sports Science and Management. It can increase your internal motivation and even help you enjoy learning more, the study found. Start with small goals instead of expecting yourself to quickly reach your long-term vision, says Kennedy. If you set a huge goal and fall short of it, you're unlikely to try again anytime soon, she says. If you want to be more active, commit to taking a 20 minute walk three times per week instead of trying to hit the gym for an hour every day, for example. "Take on a small experiment that feels uncomfortable for you: I am going to talk to my boss about those things that's upsetting. I am going to have that conversation with my friend," Kennedy says. "Those are small experiments that tell your body, 'I am someone who can be in the learning space and tolerate discomfort.' The more our body learns that we can tolerate that space, the more we're able to tolerate it in other areas as well."

Trump cut mental health funding for kids. These L.A. teens are stepping in
Trump cut mental health funding for kids. These L.A. teens are stepping in

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time6 hours ago

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Trump cut mental health funding for kids. These L.A. teens are stepping in

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In 2023, Mass. hospitals pushed executive pay to new heights
In 2023, Mass. hospitals pushed executive pay to new heights

Boston Globe

time15 hours ago

  • Boston Globe

In 2023, Mass. hospitals pushed executive pay to new heights

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Volume and revenue had begun to rebound in the year that for many hospitals ended September 2023, with Often, hospital executive compensation has been tied to a system's size and comparisons to others in the market, said Susan Malanowski, managing director of compensation consultant the Wilson Group. There are pressures on boards to hire competent executives, and the pool of applicants is smaller than it has been in the past. 'To be competitive, it is what it is,' Malanowski said. 'There is not really a big supply of competent CEOs or c-suite (executives).' While the most recent compensation data is for 2023, hospitals will be harder pressed to support large pay packages in 2025 and onward, Malanowski predicted. Uncertainty at the federal level will mean non-profit institutions will have to be more circumspect about where they set base salaries, and compensation increases are projected to be smaller. Advertisement Jessica Bartlett can be reached at

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