I moved from the suburbs to New York City. The culture shock was intense, but my daughter and social life thrived.
My daughter thrived, becoming a resilient, independent city girl, but the culture shock shook me.
I lost my creative spark to write, but I made many friends. Ultimately, NYC wasn't for me, though.
After my divorce, I left the quiet suburbs for a small apartment in Brooklyn, where I would spend the next six years of my life in a turmoil of emotions, both good and bad.
I moved to Brooklyn to be closer to family, thinking it would make solo parenting more manageable, and it did. My young daughter began thriving, and although it wasn't easy for her to move away from her best friend, she said that seeing her cousins in school made her feel like part of a community.
"My people are here," she told me excitedly one day, and I couldn't have been happier for her.
She became a city kid in the best sense: observant, resilient, and social. She took the city bus to school with friends on most days, and enjoyed spotting murals, food trucks, and street performers.
However, while she was flourishing, I was quietly unraveling under the culture shock of it all.
Living in the big city was a culture shock
I grew up in a small New York town and spent most of my life in the suburbs. I used to visit the city to feel alive and draw inspiration for my writing.
I'd get off the train with a notebook in my bag and an idea forming in my head. A walk through SoHo or a window seat at a café would do the trick.
Living there full-time, though, was different. The same sensory overload that once sparked my creativity ended up extinguishing it.
For example, we heard the train on the tracks at all hours behind our Brooklyn apartment. It made me miss my quiet suburb and sipping coffee under the maple tree in my backyard.
In Brooklyn, my desk was wedged between the radiator and the refrigerator and did not inspire me much at all. I tried libraries, but they were usually jam-packed with every table taken, so I'd sit in a corner near the restrooms and try to write while people argued loudly on cellphones nearby.
I eventually found a job as an office manager and hardly wrote anymore.
I also discovered that once simple pleasures, like stopping for a bagel and coffee or picking up some fresh flowers, now had to be planned around rush hour or had to wait until early Sunday morning, when there was less traffic and lots of parking. No longer having a dedicated parking spot at home was also a hassle and resulted in a lot of time spent just driving around.
At night, after bedtime routines and dishes, I'd sit on the edge of my bed scrolling through Zillow. I looked at apartments in other parts of the world, imagining a yard and picturing mornings with a cup of coffee and birdsong instead of sirens.
One silver lining: my new Brooklyn social life was great
Despite the many downsides, my social life took off quickly. After years of hiding out in the suburbs, I found myself surrounded by endless options: restaurants, music venues, parks, and museums, all just a train ride away.
I spent Saturday nights out and Sunday mornings at brunch with new friends, knowing my family was nearby to watch my daughter. The city made it easy to meet people and feel connected. And it made me realize I'd been taking things too seriously for years.
In the city, I noticed that people spoke their minds and didn't take things so personally. They were authentic, which wasn't rude or tactless; they just moved with the city's fast pace, leaving no room for people-pleasing or overexplaining. I began to adopt that same direct and honest style of communicating in both my business and personal relationships, and stopped second-guessing how others might perceive me. As a result, I felt freer, less controlling, and established a new level of maturity in my relationships.
Like my daughter, I truly transformed from a country bumpkin to a city girl.
I left New York City after 6 years and found the perfect fit
I had no concrete plans to leave New York City until one day my car got towed for a parking violation I didn't notice, and I had to walk five blocks through snow and ice to see a doctor while sick.
My daughter was about to graduate from elementary school, and with junior high ahead, it felt like the right moment to make a change.
With the hope of finding a quieter place to live, I began reaching out to companies for copywriting work, and received an offer from a business in Florida, a state that had never been on my radar. I found a good school and neighborhood in Palm Beach, and said goodbye to Brooklyn.
Arriving at the beach for the first time in a long time, I discovered a renewed inspiration to write and publish a poetry book, something I had never done before. Brooklyn grit followed by Florida calm was the perfect fit.
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