7 Habits of a 'Deeply Feeling' Child or Grandchild, According to Dr. Becky Kennedy

Yahoo

16-05-2025

Parenting—although rewarding and transformational—is not easy. Any child can be a handful any given day of the week and, unfortunately, there aren't always quick, easy fixes for every challenge that arises. Then, because every child is so different, it's impossible to use just one blanket approach to address every issue. "Deeply Feeling Kids" are in one category of children who react 'differently,' for example, and are very sensitive to outside factors.'A Deeply Feeling Kid (DFK) is a child who experiences emotions more intensely than others,' Dr. Becky Kennedytells Parade. Dr. Becky is a clinical psychologist with over 3.2 million followers on Instagram. She's a major reason why you might have heard more about DFKs in recent years—while she didn't coin the concept, she spreads awareness for these children through her social media platforms and Good Inside, an online parenting advice service, which she founded. If you've ever felt like you have a hard time communicating or connecting with your child—or understanding where their highly emotional or sensitive moments come from—and you feel like they might fall under the 'Deeply Feeling Kid' umbrella, read on. Dr. Becky gives us some great insight, including seven common or traits of Deeply Feeling Kids and how to best support them. Related:
To start off, let's define exactly what a Deeply Feeling Kid is. As Dr. Becky starts to explain above, these are children who 'experience emotions more intensely than others.' 'These kids feel things deeply and often react strongly to situations,' she continues. 'Their emotional responses can be big, sometimes seeming overwhelming to those around them.' Dr. Becky shares that DFKs are very intuitive about their surroundings. That sensitivity might go hand-in-hand with how they express themselves and their emotions as well. 'They are also highly sensitive to their environments and pick up on things that others may overlook,' she explains. 'This sensitivity isn't a flaw—it's a unique way of experiencing the world.'And if you were wondering: Yes, certain children are more likely to be Deeply Feeling Kids than others.'Some children are naturally more emotionally porous and sensitive. They absorb feelings from the world around them and may react strongly to things that others see as small,' she reveals. 'These traits are innate—not the result of parenting style or environment alone—and often come with high levels of empathy and creativity.'Related:
It's not diagnosable like ADHD or ASD, but there are still signs, habits or traits you can find in children if they are DFKs.
The first habit Dr. Becky shares is exhibiting intense emotions. This is, of course, embedded in the definition of Deeply Feeling Kids. 'DFKs feel things deeply—joy, sadness, anger—and their emotional states can swing quickly and last longer than expected,' she explains.
As she mentioned before, in addition to heightened emotions, DFKs are very perceptive and responsive to things around them. This understandably can lead to an overload of emotions, which they already feel strongly.'They are highly tuned in to their environments and other people's emotions, which can be overwhelming but also makes them incredibly empathetic,' Dr. Becky tells Parade.Related:
Lots of kids can be attached to their parents' hips, but for Deeply Feeling Kids, it's a bit different. 'DFKs often worry that their big emotions are 'too much' and might push people away, leading them to cling tightly or shut down,' the clinical psychologist explains. If you're an adult who fears rejection because you might be too loud or aggressive (especially unknowingly), imagine how a child feels with this fear.
On that note, Dr. Becky explains that these children are in desperate need for connection.'These kids thrive when they feel emotionally safe and connected,' she explains. 'They often seek frequent reassurance and closeness with caregivers.'
Even for teens or adults, change can be difficult. And for DFKs, switching things up can be upending. 'Transitions or unexpected changes can feel destabilizing, leading to meltdowns or anxiety as they try to regain a sense of control,' Dr. Becky shares.
For children who experience large emotions, you can imagine that their responses can also be pretty big. 'Their responses may seem out of proportion—loud outbursts, physical expressions of emotion—because they're processing intense internal feelings,' she explains.
Because of how they experience life differently from other kids, Deeply Feeling Kids are very aware of themselves and how they might be perceived by others. This can lead to some profound thoughts and feelings. 'DFKs may be unusually self-aware for their age, but this can lead to shame or self-doubt if they internalize that they are 'too much,'' Dr. Becky says. Related:
In addition to those habits, parents and grandparents can spot if their child or grandchild is a Deeply Feeling Kid if they:
Have 'big emotional reactions, sometimes flipping from calm to overwhelmed in moments,' Dr. Becky shares.
'Struggle with emotional regulation, often finding it hard to calm down once upset.'
'Avoid talking about emotions, possibly because they fear being 'too much.''
'Feel left out or misunderstood, and may worry that their emotions will push others away.'
'These patterns can point to a child who is deeply feeling and needs unique support,' she explains.
When Parade asks Dr. Becky how she 'cracked the code' on how to talk to and 'handle' DFKs, she tells us that 'connection over correction' is the key. 'One helpful strategy is to remove the pressure from conversations by using non-verbal tools—like a 'thumbs up/thumbs down/sideways' game to check in on how they're feeling,' she suggests. When it's time for 'deeper talks,' as Dr. Becky says, it's also important not to stress them out and put too much pressure on them. 'Keeping things open-ended and low-pressure helps them feel safe,' she explains. 'Saying things like, 'I wonder how you're feeling today. It's okay if you're not ready to talk right now—I'm here when you are,' gives them space while maintaining emotional availability.'
Figuring out how to best parent a child who thinks or acts a little differently can feel impossible at times, but Dr. Becky says the most significant thing you should know when it comes to parenting DFKs is that there's nothing wrong with them.'The most important thing is that your child isn't broken—they're wired differently,' she stresses. 'They need connection—not correction—and benefit most from parents who can stay calm and regulate themselves. When a child feels truly seen and accepted, it creates the safety they need to work through big feelings.'The best ways to support a child who is deeply feeling includes the following, according to Dr. Becky:
'Validate their emotions instead of trying to fix or minimize them.
Give them tools to communicate how they feel—both verbally and nonverbally.
Offer consistent connection, especially during and after tough moments.
Normalize their experiences by helping them understand that feeling deeply isn't wrong—it's just part of who they are.'
At some point, parenting can feel tough to conquer or handle, but Dr. Becky stresses that 'you're not alone.''Many parents are raising deeply feeling kids, and while it's challenging, it's also a gift,' she says. 'DFKs can grow into incredibly compassionate, self-aware and emotionally intelligent adults—especially when they're raised in an environment of understanding and emotional safety.'Up Next:Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and founder of Good Inside, an online parenting advice service. She also has over 3.2 million followers on Instagram.