Fringe 2025 – Paul Campbell – The Lost Tapes of Somerfield ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Edinburgh Reporter

03-08-2025

'It all started with a gala pie'
Affluent foodies may assume the moral high ground about supermarkets, but let's be honest, few of us could manage without them. Even Nigel Slater admits he buys his loo rolls from one. They're part of our daily lives, whether we spend £100 on wine in Waitrose or £3 on a sandwich from Sainsbury's.
A huge amount of retail psychology goes into supermarket layouts. And much as we may deny it, most of us know where everything is – we're certainly put out if our local Tesco changes its layout, and I know I can tell which of my two nearest branches I'm in by the positioning of the pet food aisle. I can even send myself off to sleep by mentally working my round Aldi. Can't everyone? No?
For a teenage Paul Campbell, one particular supermarket assumed an importance way beyond even my level of familiarity. Lonely, socially inept and craving the comfort that predictably can bring, Paul fell in love with Somerfield. His local branch in South Manchester became his haven. He soon developed a 45 minute routine to his daily visits; they helped him to relax after another miserable day at school. He knew the staff (especially Somerfield Sue with her 'Toffee Crisp Orange hair'), he recognised the regulars. His favourite aisle was Confectionery and Snacks. He felt welcome,
'It was the first time I felt I belonged in public.'
Yes, Paul may be a little bit obsessive – a fact of which he's certainly not unaware – but we all have places that give us comfort in a frightening world. For me it's my little branch library; for Smithy in Gavin & Stacey it was the driving range. For Paul it was the shelves of discount chocolate wafers and Albanian cheese twists.
Then tragedy struck. Paul went off to university. He looked forward to the holidays and getting back into those hallowed aisles. When he found the store empty he initially thought it was getting a much-needed revamp.
Then he noticed the store sign was missing. Somerfield had closed down. The site eventually became a branch of Home Bargains.
In this entertaining, strangely moving show, Paul takes us through the stages of his Supermarket Grief. In between he shares stories from his past, most of them in some way connected to his shop of choice. His attempts to make himself more interesting include a plan to 'become' a character from a popular TV series that he didn't even like. (He carries prompt cards around with him, each one featuring quotes from the show, but, nervous and desperate, he inevitably brings them out in the wrong places.)
He's collected various exhibits to illustrate his story; a loyalty card, a Somerfield First Aider's badge, a framed photo of the company's CEO (or is it?) He tells a particularly funny story involving the film Hot Fuzz and the Wells branch of the chain, and another one about a game, The Last Snack on Death Row.
The Lost Tapes of Somerfield may not be the most polished show you'll see at this year's Fringe, but it may well be one of the most genuine. It's got lots of funny jokes, and it's also got a story that makes you think, because, weird as you may at first find the subject matter, it's really about a universal truth. What does give meaning to our lives? And who are any of us to say that one person's meaning is of lesser value than another's?
We all have to go shopping. It's almost certainly something we do more often than playing sport, going to church or even visiting the library. It's the little things that make up the sum total of our lives, and much as we complain about yet another trip to Tesco's, how discombobulated did we feel when those trips were denied us by Covid? At a time when many traditional meeting places are closing, all human life is right in front of us in the grocery aisles.
I attended the preview of this show and was at first the only person in the audience. It's to Paul's great credit that he went on with the performance (one other person did arrive in the end – it's not the easiest venue to find), overcoming technical difficulties, and my fear of audience participation, with consummate ease.
Grassroots storytelling and comedy are surely what the Fringe should be all about. The Lost Tapes of Somerfield is a fine example of this. Go along and see this unique show. You won't be disappointed; you will be entertained.
Paul Campbell: The Lost Tapes of Somerfield is at Hoots @ Potterow (Wee Container), Potterrow Port (Venue 243) at 1pm every day until 25 August 2025.
*Please allow time to find this venue – it's through the underpass.*
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