In Chancellor's absence, a new titanic ego has the chance to avoid questions
We've all been there – and rather there than here, listening to Darren evade Commons scrutiny.
Given there is a £6 billion hole in the budget, observed Sir Mel, do we have any fiscal rules left? The answer, in so many words? 'Liz Truss'. Meg Hillier asked the Treasury Secretary to explain the value of fiscal discipline and he replied 'Liz Truss'. John Glen urged him to make an 'impact assessment' of any tax rises: Jones said 'Liz Truss', smiled and shrugged. Harriet Baldwin suggested that the markets were concerned about the 'wellbeing' of the absent Chancellor – perhaps having a personal moment with 20 Rothmans and the EastEnders omnibus – and Jones said he was 'not entirely sure what the question was', but nevertheless, 'Liz Truss'.
At this point, Stella Creasy revealed that she was 'the MP for the constituency that the lettuce was from that lasted longer' than Liz Truss. Labour members howled with laughter. I did not. Given the corruption in London voting, there's a good chance that the lettuce voted for Stella Creasy.
Jones, a titanic ego, breezed through the session as if everything in the World of Darren is going tickety-boo – an impression subverted by the only MP who would share his front bench, Christian Wakeford.
Wakeford, with a beer belly and vanishing hair, has the air of a man whose life has fallen apart and is sleeping in a van down by the river. He doesn't move. He stares at the ceiling. A passing MP instinctively dropped a fiver in his hat.
Up popped the loyal backbenchers with scripted lines about 'financial mismanagement', telling us the Tories had 'seven different fiscal rules' at least seven times. Chris Vince, barely out of uni, suggested one reason for the 'fiscal mess' was the Tories cutting '1,200 HMRC compliance officers. And I declare an interest because one of them was my mum!'.
Jas Athwal, in his question about the 'dangerous dismantling of all our public services', neglected to declare that he was once criticised for the poor state of the flats he let to tenants. When Deirdre Costigan raised the plight of children sleeping in 'mouldy, temporary homes', the irony was missed. But the prize for toe-curling must go to Jeevun Sandher, a boy who looks and sounds like an Apprentice candidate, the kind that says 'I am the best salesman since Julius Caesar', then gets knocked out in round one after scoring zero sales.
'I'm amaaazed the party opposite brought an urgent question on fiscal rules,' he oozed, 'I mean guyyys – and it is all guyyys – come on!'
Guys?! The Tory benches included several women, plus Mel Stride. Esther McVey looked ready to thump him.
As for me, I had ceased listening and was thinking of centrist co-hosts for Rachel's inevitable, bland podcast. My best is ex-sailor Penny Mordaunt: they can call it 'Politics with Davros and the Sea Devil.' It'll blow The Rest is Blah out of the water.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
The Sun
28 minutes ago
- The Sun
BMA's failure to allow treatment during strike is wrecking patients' lives & playing God with their medical conditions
Doctors can't just refuse to do duty THE wait for a cancer diagnosis is one of the most agonising experiences of anyone's life. So a Milton Keynes hospital trust made a plea to the striking BMA union to allow treatment of six patients who had steeled themselves for their biopsies. 1 Shamefully, their response was no. We knew the union's leaders were grasping mercenaries in their pursuit of a fantasy 29 per cent pay claim. Now we know they are capable of inhuman cruelty too. It was only thanks to the heroic decision of one of their own members to break the strike that the patients got the treatment they needed. The BMA's decision was based on the fact there was no direct clinical risk because none of the patients had as yet been diagnosed with cancer. Crystal clear evidence that the union is not only wrecking patients' lives but also playing God with their medical conditions. Health Secretary Wes Streeting, himself a former cancer sufferer, says: 'It is completely unacceptable for the BMA to dismiss the mental anguish a delayed diagnosis can have on people and families.'' Spot on, Wes. Extremist fanatics have no right to dictate whether someone should be tested for cancer or not. And every grotesque BMA decision that harms patients must be ruthlessly exposed. Take Don's advice PM Since his election, Mr Trump has wasted no time in reducing the hordes arriving in the US to a trickle and deporting tens of thousands more. Meanwhile, Sir Keir seems unable to get to grips with the crisis over here. The two leaders will no doubt be discussing vital matters such as Gaza and the UK-US trade deal when they meet tomorrow. But Sir Keir should put learning lessons on migration at the top of the agenda. Help on high streets BUSINESS Secretary Jonny Reynolds has revealed the Government plans to give the nation's struggling high streets a shot in the arm in the autumn budget. Welcome words. We have warned for years that the sector was on its knees. But for many pubs and restaurants, Labour's tax hikes have already proved the final nail in the coffin.
The Sun
28 minutes ago
- The Sun
The two party system is obliterated, welcome to Balkans Britain
IF Labour and the Tories were High Street jewellers, then they would both be Ratner's. Their brands are tainted, their names are mud, their future uncertain. 7 7 For a century Labour and the Tories were the Tiffany and Cartier of our proud old democracy. Then they both did a Ratner. The Tories took 14 years to deeply disappoint the British people. Labour has managed to make the nation despair in closer to 14 months. And their good old days of swapping power every few years are over. Welcome to Balkan s Britain. Balkan-isation refers to the process where a state irrevocably shatters into many smaller states. That is exactly what is happening right now to traditional British politics. The two-party system is obliterated, and there are bits and pieces all over the carpet. The disintegration of our body politic reached new heights this week with the resurrection of Jeremy Corbyn and the launch of his new leftier- than-thou party — provisionally named 'Your Party' (not mine, never mine). Now Labour can't chuckle about the Tories warily looking over their right shoulder at Reform. Inside UK's 1st Reform pub with £2 pints, boozers drinking 'Remainer tears' & even Corbyn's allowed in, on one condition Because Labour are looking over their left shoulder at Jeremy Corbyn's Your Party. And everybody has to fear losing support to the Greens, Lib Dems and Monster Raving Loony Party. And will the fragmentation of our old two-party system be good for our country? Will Reform's right-wing firebrands draining support from the Tories and Corbyn's full-fat comrades nicking support from Labour make us a healthier, happier country? Fingers crossed, eh? But those of us who care about our country far more than we do, any political party should not dance too gleefully on the freshly dug grave of the two-party system. Because effective government ALWAYS comes from a broad church of opinions. Tony Blair's New Labour had room in its ranks for both Peter Mandelson and Dennis 'Beast of Bolsover' Skinner — slinky capitalist and old-school socialist. Maggie Thatcher had room in her Cabinet for both Michael Heseltine and Norman Tebbit — fanatical pro-European and unapologetic patriot. It is impossible to imagine either of the two big parties being quite so broadminded these days. Corbyn and Farage have this in common — they are both profoundly anti-establishment. Yet one of them could wield power after the next General Election, even if it is lording over some fractious coalition. Then Nigel might find that shipping hardcore criminals to El Salvador is easier said than done. And Jeremy might discover that ranting about the wickedness of the filthy rich does absolutely nothing for the British economy. And when the old two-party system is buried forever, you and I may even start to miss it. Romance in air? Liam's just being hammy with Pammy LIAM NEESON and Pamela Anderson are promoting their reboot of The Naked Gun – and old romantics are suggesting there may be a spark of real-life romance between this lovely couple. Liam, 73, confessed in a recent interview that he was 'madly in love' with the former Baywatch babe, 58. A confession that makes me believe there is absolutely no late-life love story going on between them. USYK'S GOT BIT OF ALI I REMEMBER my mum and dad had mixed feelings when Henry Cooper fought Muhammad Ali for the second time. Naturally my folks wanted the local lad – our Henry – to win. 7 But there was a big part of their hearts that always belonged to Muhammad Ali. And so it is with Oleksandr Usyk, who knocked out Daniel Dubois last weekend to become the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world. Even if you want the Brit to win, you can't help but admire their opponent. Because both Ali and Usyk fought for a higher cause than their own career. Muhammad Ali fought racism. Oleksandr Usyk is the living embodiment of Ukraine's defiance in the face of Russia's murderous invasion. Usyk has now beaten the cream of British boxing – Daniel Dubois (twice), Tyson Fury (twice), Anthony Joshua (twice), Derek Chisora and Tony Bellew. Muhammad Ali beat Henry Cooper (twice), Joe Bugner (twice), Brian London and Richard Dunn. But Ali was always loved in this country. As so is Usyk. 'UK is my second home,' says Usyk. 'I love UK.' The feeling is mutual, champ. Glory to Ukraine. ORVILLE the Duck is being branded a 'nappy-wearing perv' after revelations about inappropriate behaviour. TV's Mel and Sue revealed that they were co-hosting Channel 4's Light Lunch in 1997 when ventriloquist Keith Harris (and Orville) became as over-familiar with Mel as Rod Hull (and Emu) got with Michael Parkinson 20 years earlier. 7 'Keith Harris got a bit naughty with Sue!' Mel revealed. 'Well, Orville did! Yes, Orville got a bit naughty Nineties.' I believe Keith Harris, who died in 2015, should carry the can. He was the one with his hand up the green duck's Wembley Way. Look at those eyes. Orville is innocent. TELL IT LIKE IT KISS 'RIGHT then, do we have any lovebirds in the house?' asked Liam Gallagher on stage in Manchester. 'Don't worry, we ain't got none of that snidey Coldplay f***ing camera s**t. Doesn't matter to us who you're mingling with or tingling with – none of our f***ing business.' 7 Beautifully put, Liam. Our kid is right to be outraged at the use of kiss cams at concerts. After the Coldplay farrago, it is worth recalling that the kiss cam only began life in California in the Eighties, taking advantage of new-fangled giant video screens at sporting events. The kiss cam was introduced as a way to stop crowds nodding off at baseball and American football games. As Liam points out, it is weird that the kiss cam should become a feature of concerts. There is nothing even remotely rock and roll about it. But of course that's also true of Coldplay. BOB DYLAN – 84! – returns to the UK in November, and once again no phones will be allowed at his shows. That must feel weird for anyone below the age of about 30. To the rest of us, a phone-free night watching Dylan feels gloriously liberating. COP SHOP ROT 'E-SCOOTERS can be a great way to get around,' says a government spokesman. This is especially true if you want to steal somebody's phone, a crime now so widespread that last year £50million worth of phones were snatched in London alone. Most of those phones are never recovered. Just as most burglaries – almost 82 per cent – are never solved. Just as most shoplifters – now three thefts a minute! – never get a slap on the wrist. Nigel Farage is right – this country feels increasingly lawless. But there was one thing Farage neglected to mention in his bid to make Reform the party of law and order. Two-thirds of police stations in England have closed since 2010. This is where the rot begins. This is where our rising crime rates took root. When police stations went the same way as Woolworths.
The Guardian
28 minutes ago
- The Guardian
If the economics of broadening or lifting Australia's GST are challenging, the politics are horrendous
When Jim Chalmers declared we needed a national debate on reforming the economy to drive the next generation of prosperity, he scolded the media for its penchant for playing the rule-in-rule-out game. The irony is that from his high horse, the treasurer had almost certainly ruled out one major change: lifting or broadening the GST. If Chalmers is being disingenuous when he suggests nothing is off the table at next month's talkfest – and he absolutely is – then he should have ruled out changes to the consumption tax from the very start. Many economists argue that lifting or broadening the GST is an essential ingredient in any reform package that fundamentally improves the efficiency of the tax system. More GST revenue can pay for cuts to income and company tax rates, for example. This shift provides a structurally more stable tax revenue base, and sharpens incentives to work and invest. Labor as a party, however, is fundamentally opposed to changing the tax on consumption on the basis that it hurts poorer Australians. Sign up: AU Breaking News email And the worry about fairness is real. New analysis by the ANU's Ben Phillips shows that the GST is 'highly regressive'. Phillips' modelling shows the bottom fifth of income earners pay 5.4% of their income on consumption taxes. That's more than twice as much as the top 20% of households, where GST accounts for 2.6% of disposable income. Broadening the GST to include the things currently excluded – such as fresh food and education – makes the tax even more regressive. Phillips finds consumption taxes as a share of household budgets climbs to 7.9% for the lowest incomes, and 3.5% for those at the top. 'I think equity concerns are spot on,' Phillips says. 'There would have to be a complicated new approach to compensation for lower and middle income workers to make it politically feasible. 'We would be relying on there being some substantial economic gains from increasing the GST, and they are probably relatively modest.' If the economics of broadening or lifting the GST are challenging, the politics are horrendous. The first hurdle is the most obvious: the states get the revenue, while the commonwealth cops the heat. Even if the Albanese government could agree with its state and territory counterparts to share the proceeds, there is also the issue that the GST distribution system has been fundamentally undermined by the obscenely generous deal with Western Australia, the country's richest state. As such, a bigger GST pile without getting rid of this distortion would simply exacerbate what Saul Eslake has called 'possibly the worst public policy decision of the 21st century'. Which begs the question: can we get meaningful tax reform without lifting the GST? Ken Henry, who authored a major tax paper in 2010 and is considered the country's high priest of reform, argues that 'tax reform cannot be done piecemeal; a big package will be required'. He recently told The Conversation's Michelle Grattan 'it would be better not to constrain the reform process by ruling out the GST'. 'Having said that, I do think it's possible to achieve major reform of the Australian taxation system without necessarily increasing the rate or extending the base of the GST.' Such reforms could be paid for via higher taxes on natural resources, and on wealth and savings – both on capital gains and income from that capital (think property investments and superannuation). Chalmers' narrative for the reform roundtable apparently leans into Henry's view around some kind of tax 'grand bargain'. But again, the treasurer's ambition is much more narrow. He has famously described his approach to reform as 'bite-sized chunks', and defended his policy initiatives since coming to power as 'modest but meaningful'. In fact, the most obvious next steps for Labor when it comes to tax is reforming the treatment of family trusts, and introducing a road user charge to replace dwindling fuel excise revenue. Whether we need another roundtable to get there is an open question. Viva Hammer, who played a key role in designing America's immense Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017, had some advice for policymakers. Speaking at a tax roundtable organised by the independent MP Allegra Spender, Hammer said the ambition should be 'to think about doing something better, and not something perfect, because perfection is for the angels'. Breaking it down to the lowest common denominator, the independent economist Chris Richardson's advice is 'let's just stop doing dumb things'. Speaking at the same event in Parliament House on Friday, Richardson said his number one 'dumb thing' is how we tax gas through the petroleum rent resources tax (PRRT). Australia over recent years has become a gas superpower. And yet, incredibly, the tax take has not changed at all, Richardson says. Labor's tweaks to the PRRT have not changed this reality – as Richardson says, the forecasts for revenue from this tax are a 'big fat nothing' in future years. 'Some people say you can't change because there would be some 'sovereign risk',' he said, referring to the claims that altering these rules puts off foreign investors and can choke off funding for the industry. 'Sovereign risk is where one side gets next to nothing across a long period of time, and our own stupidity has got us there, and we should do better.' Richardson believes we are also not charging banks enough for the implicit 'too big to fail' insurance provided by taxpayers. The two suggestions, he said, could raise $5-6bn a year.
