4 Ways To Overcome Victim Mindset At Work

Forbes

15-04-2025

You can overcome a victim mindset at work.
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You've probably seen the victim mindset at work, both in yourself and others. The team member who blames every missed deadline on "impossible expectations" rather than looking for solutions or figuring out how to prioritize. The manager who says their team underperforms because "HR sent me bad hires" instead of looking at their leadership style. The colleague who believes "the boss plays favorites," without considering how they might better demonstrate their value and advocate for themselves. Maybe you've even caught yourself in this pattern too. You might not even realize you're doing it until you're deep in a spiral of negative thoughts.
Falling into a victim mindset is actually quite natural—it's our brain's way of protecting us from perceived threats and preserving our self-image when things go wrong. When we face challenges or criticism, our minds instinctively look outward for causes rather than inward for solutions. While this self-protective mechanism may feel comforting in the moment, it can ultimately hold us back from growth, resilience, and taking productive action.
Luckily, this mindset isn't fixed. It's something we can recognize and change with practice. Psychologist Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman has studied this pattern for years, drawing from both research and personal experience. His new book, Rise Above, offers evidence-based insights on how to shift from feeling powerless to taking meaningful action. Here are key takeaways from his work that can help you transform your approach at work.
Being victimized by unfair circumstances is different from adopting a victim mindset. As Kaufman explains, you can face real challenges, biases, or difficult systems without letting them define your outlook. Acknowledging barriers while still taking personal responsibility allows you to maintain agency in challenging situations.
This distinction is crucial in the workplace. You might genuinely encounter unfair treatment—discrimination, working under a difficult manager, or dealing with unreasonable deadlines. But the problem arises when these experiences become the lens through which you view your entire work life.
Try a "yes, and" approach, acknowledging the reality of challenging systems while still asking yourself, "How can I as an individual make the most of my situation knowing I have to live within that system?" This doesn't mean accepting unfair treatment or not working toward systemic change. Rather, it means refusing to surrender your agency and joy while navigating difficult circumstances.
For example, if you're facing a biased performance review system at work, you can simultaneously acknowledge this unfairness while also advocating for better processes,, focusing on showcasing your achievements, or building relationships with allies.
When you catch yourself blaming external factors for your workplace challenges, create psychological distance from these thoughts. For example, when thoughts like "my boss is always creating problems" cross your mind, try:
You can also use a technique from psychologist Tasha Eurich of swapping why questions for what questions. Instead of asking, "Why does my boss always do this to me?" or 'Why am I never recognized for my work?' to 'What am I feeling right now, and what's driving that feeling?' or, "What opportunities exist within this challenge?"
This earned hopefulness pairs perfectly with building emotional resilience. Many of us have become victims to our own emotions, believing we can't take action until we feel comfortable or confident. But as Kaufman points out, 'Sometimes the only way out is through.'
Learned hopefulness can be developed by:
When one person or situation disappoints you at work, it's remarkably easy to spiral into catastrophic thinking. A single critical comment from your manager can transform into "I'm never appreciated here." One missed opportunity can become "I'll never advance in this field."
Kaufman illustrates this with a personal example: "I've taken up magic lately and I go around to restaurants and do mentalism. The manager at one restaurant was clearly not into magic and was being dismissive. It would be very simple to overgeneralize and think, 'No one wants me here,' but the kitchen staff and bartenders were saying, 'Wow, it's amazing, do more!'"
This example highlights a crucial truth: most people aren't actively conspiring against you. As Kaufman puts it, "The truth of the matter is that people just don't care about you. They're not actively conspiring against you. They're just in their own worlds."
Notice when you use absolute language like "always," "never," or "everyone" in your internal dialogue. These words are red flags that you're overgeneralizing. When you catch yourself thinking "My team never appreciates my contributions" after one person overlooks your work, pause and challenge that interpretation. Ask yourself if there's evidence that contradicts your sweeping conclusion. Perhaps other colleagues have expressed appreciation recently, or maybe the person who didn't acknowledge your work was distracted by other priorities.
The next time you feel yourself slipping into victim thinking, remember that you have choices. You can choose to see multiple pathways forward. You can choose to hold both frustration and hope simultaneously. You can choose to view setbacks as temporary rather than permanent. These choices won't magically transform difficult workplace situations, but they will transform your experience of them.