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Yahoo
3 minutes ago
- Yahoo
I'm about to have my 3rd kid. This is the advice I'm giving myself.
"Your kid isn't just getting a new sibling — they're getting a total life shake-up." Welcoming a new baby when you already have other children comes with its own joys and challenges. There's the excitement of having another child to love, plus a lot more experience under your belt. But your attention as parents is pulled in multiple directions, and sibling rivalry may rear its head. As your home becomes busier and noisier, that adjustment can feel a bit overwhelming for everyone. With the right preparation, however, the initial chaos can become an opportunity to grow together as a family. In the ninth episode of their podcast, After Bedtime With Big Little Feelings, Big Little Feelings founders Deena Margolin, a child therapist specializing in interpersonal neurobiology, and Kristin Gallant, a parenting coach with a background in maternal and child education, talk about how having another child affects your family dynamic and how to get ready for this big change. In this edition of Yahoo's "" column, Margolin — who is herself expecting her third child — gives advice on how to prepare older kids for the arrival of a new sibling. She also shares the three key conversations to have with your partner, children and family ahead of time. When a new baby arrives, the entire family system reorganizes. Psychologists call this a normative crisis — a totally expected, but major disruption to family structure and roles. It's not just adding a baby. It's subtracting predictability, control and often sleep. Everyone's sense of place gets shaken up, and that can cause stress (and growth). Suddenly, the house that was running on a (semi) functional routine is now fueled by baby poop, two-hour sleep stretches and trying to figure out when you can shower again. The whole system tilts. And as it does, expect things like: your toddler starting to act like the baby (hello, potty regressions and demands to 'hold me!' 24/7); you and your partner playing 'Who's more tired?' like it's a competitive sport; and you questioning if you're 'doing enough' for everyone (newsflash: you are). But here's your empowering reframe: It's not a breakdown — it's a rebirth. For your family. For your identity. For your relationships. The dynamics will change, and they should. You're not going back to how things were. You're building something new. And that's not scary, that's powerful. How can parents prepare older siblings for the arrival of a new baby? Here's the deal: Your kid isn't just getting a new sibling — they're getting a total life shake-up. And without prep? That 'bundle of joy' shows up, and your toddler's like, 'Return to sender. Immediately.' So let's flip the script before the jealousy, tantrums or regressions hit. My No. 1 tip: Use books, shows and dolls to play it out. Pretend the doll is crying. Ask your kid what they think the baby needs. Let them 'help.' This isn't just cute — it's how little brains process big stuff. The more familiar this whole new 'baby life' feels, the less overwhelming and scary it'll feel once it's happening in real life. And that means fewer meltdowns, tantrums and unwanted behavior for you! Talking about the baby early and often also helps. Not in a 'you're gonna be a big brother, yay!' way, but in a 'this will feel exciting and really different' way. Be real and be repetitive. It means preparing them for what life with a new baby might look like. For example, try explaining that 'babies cry a lot because they don't know how to use words yet. We help them feel safe until they grow their words — just like we helped you.' Once the baby arrives, enlist older siblings as helpers by giving them a job to do. 'Alright! Baby needs a new outfit. Do you want to pick?' You're not replacing them — you're giving them a powerful new position and setting them up to feel really proud and special. It's about helping them feel safe, seen and still important in a totally new family dynamic. Although it's easy to 'blame' the baby for your not being as widely available to your other children as you used to be, that can create resentment. Here's what to do instead: Rather than saying things like, 'I can't play with you right now because I'm feeding the baby' or 'Shhh!!!! The baby is napping!' use words that don't make baby the reason we can't have any fun. For example: 'I would love to play with you — I just need five minutes. What do you want to play?' Or: 'It's quiet time in the house. What quiet game should we play together?' How can parents manage the guilt or anxiety that comes with dividing attention among multiple kids? Ah yes … the guilt. That sneaky voice whispering, 'You're not doing enough for your firstborn. You're failing. Everyone's going to need therapy.' Let's get this straight: Feeling guilty doesn't mean you're failing. It means you care. It means you're deeply invested in doing right by your kids, which, ironically, is proof that you already are. Here's the reframe: You're not supposed to split yourself into perfect thirds. You're meant to show up in little, consistent bursts of presence. Research shows that short moments of attuned attention, even just 10 minutes, create the secure attachment kids need. Not constant entertainment. Not equal time. Just enough 'I see you' to fill their cup. Let us shout this from the rooftops: You are not a bad parent because you can't give everyone 100% of you all the time. You are a human. It's not possible and shouldn't be your goal. Here's how to quiet the guilt spiral: Name the feelings. 'This feels hard because I care so much about both of them.' That's not failure — that's love. Shift your measurement. Don't measure your parenting in hours; measure it in tiny moments of connection. A 10-minute cuddle. A wink across the room. A whispered, 'I see you, and I love you so much, just as you are.' Trust the big picture. Your love doesn't shrink with another child — it stretches. And you're teaching your kids something priceless: how to make room for each other, how to wait, how to work as a team and navigate things together. Yes, it's messy and loud. It'll sometimes feel like someone's always crying (maybe it's you). But it's not a failure. It's a family in transition, and you're doing it. And lastly? The hard chapters don't last forever. You change, the dynamics change, your kids change — it's hard to remember that in the tough moments. But it's true. What conversations should families have before a new baby arrives to feel like a team? This isn't just about prepping your hospital bag. It's about prepping your people — your partner, your kids, your support system. Otherwise, you're the only one holding the weight of this massive transition. Ask yourself: What does support actually look like for me? It might be: your partner handling 100% of toddler snacks, school runs and bedtime. Your mom or a friend helping with dishes, or friends setting up a meal train (people want to help you — let them!). And if you're a friend reading this, go more concrete rather than vague, so stuff like 'What's your fav coffee order?' or 'I'm going to drop off food this afternoon,' instead of 'Let me know if you need anything.' In your family, the most important pre-baby conversations aren't about bassinets. They're about boundaries, expectations and who's doing what while you're recovering. Here are three key talks to have: With your partner: 'What does support look like for me and for us? I want you to lead, not ask. I need to be able to rest and recover, guilt-free. I need water and food before I'm a hungry, crying monster. You're on kid duty for the first two weeks. What do you need? How can we make a system that works for us both?' Figuring it all out ahead of time — before you're in the chaos — is a game changer. With your village: 'Want to help? Amazing. Here's how: meals, dishes, take the toddler to the park. No visitors unless invited.' Adapt it to exactly what you want. The more explicit, the more effective. And don't forget: Your people love you and want to help. Let them! You're not a burden. This is a unique, short amount of time in the grand scheme of life. Lean in. With your kids: 'Things will feel different for a while. The first week or two, we'll do lots of resting together — you can always snuggle with me. I just won't be able to walk a lot as my body gets better. So if you need snacks, help with going potty or anything else, Daddy will be the main helper. It won't be forever, just at first. And I always love you — that will never change!' You can adapt this to be what you want to express. Being flexible is also important. Set the expectation: 'If something's not working, we will pivot together.' You're modeling how to handle change and how to stay connected through it. Bottom line? Birth changes everything. But when you talk about it first, it doesn't break everything. It builds something deeper. More honest. More resilient. And that's a win for the whole family. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
3 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Venus Williams Has Some Smashing News About Her Personal Life
A post-match interview with Venus Williams on Tuesday revealed that the 7-time Grand Slam singles winner is engaged to Andrea Preti, an actor and former model who was seeing her play in person for the first time. The juicy tidbit emerged as the former world No. 1 celebrated her victory over Peyton Stearns at the DC Open, making Williams, 45, the oldest player to win a tour-level singles match since Martina Navratilova did at age 47 in 2004. Williams had not played a match in well over a year. An on-court chat with interviewer Rennae Stubbs took a sweet gossipy turn when she said to Williams, 'You're now an engaged woman. So, how much has Andrea helped you in this comeback? You're happy, the smile on your face. I mean, how much has he made a difference in your life?' 'Yes, my fiancé is here,' Williams answered, prompting a spectator chorus of 'wooooo!' 'He really encouraged me to keep playing,' she added. 'There were so many times where I just wanted to coast and kind of chill. Do you know how hard it is to play tennis? You guys don't know how much work goes into this, like it's 9 to 5 except you're running the whole time. Lifting weights and just like dying and then you repeat it the next day. So he encouraged me to get through this and it's wonderful to be here. He's never seen me play.' Venus Williams on her fiancées support after getting 1st singles win since 2023'My fiancée is here. He really encouraged me to keep playing. Do you know how hard it is to play tennis? It's 9 to 5 except you're running the whole time' 😭😭😭😭 — The Tennis Letter (@TheTennisLetter) July 23, 2025 Here's Preti, 37, watching her post-match press conference: And here's the couple during Milan Fashion Week in February when the two fueled engagement whispers because Williams wore a diamond ring, according to People. Their relationship dates back to at least July 2024 when they were photographed on a boat off the Amalfi Coast, the outlet reported previously. Related... 45-Year-Old Venus Williams Becomes Second-Oldest Woman To Win A Tour-Level Singles Match These Young Tennis Titans Just Got A Shot Of Confidence From One Of The Best To Ever Do It Venus Williams Sure Sounds Like She's Retiring
Fast Company
4 minutes ago
- Fast Company
Elon Musk used to be a movie hero. Now he's the villain
I recently saw James Gunn's new Superman movie, and as I sat there in the dark theater, I couldn't help but think that Nicholas Hoult based his Lex Luthor on Elon Musk. Something about that smirk he kept flashing throughout the movie reminded me so much of the Tesla CEO's. But Hoult's mannerisms weren't the only thing. His Luthor had several other characteristics that I, and many others, see in Musk, most notably a savior complex and a need to be adored. That's in addition to the fact that in this film, Luthor is a tech billionaire with significant contracts with, and influence over, the government. The thing is, during a lie detector test conducted somewhat in jest by Vanity Fair, Hoult told Superman star David Corenswet that he did not base his Lex Luthor portrayal on Elon Musk. Corenswet noted that Hoult had previously said he wanted to make his Luthor 'as alpha as possible,' and asked whether there were any alpha male podcasts Hoult listened to to prep for the role. Hoult replied that he hadn't listened to any podcasts, but he did listen 'to the audiobook of Elon Musk's book, even though I didn't base the character on Elon at all. But I just thought it'd be interesting.' [Note: Hoult did not clarify if he was talking about Musk's official biography, written by Walter Isaacson in 2023, or Ashlee Vance's unofficial Musk biography, from 2015.] Still, it's hard not to spot the similarities between the controversial Musk and Superman's greatest foe. And Superman isn't the first movie with such similarities, intended or not. In recent years, Musk and other tech billionaires have seemed to have served as direct inspiration for movie villains. Yet things haven't always been this way. [Photo: Marvel Studios] Elon Musk inspired the most iconic superhero of the 21st century Before Robert Downey Jr. starred as Tony Stark in 2008's Iron Man, few people outside of the comic book world could tell you who Iron Man was. Yet, thanks largely to Downey Jr.'s portrayal, Iron Man became a household name—and kick-started the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which has allowed now-owner Disney to rake in tens of billions of dollars in box office receipts over the past 17 years. In the script, Downey Jr.'s Stark was charming, intelligent, and slightly arrogant. He leveraged his extreme wealth and technological prowess to make the world a better place. This take on the character—who had existed in comic book form since 1963—was heavily based on Elon Musk. In a 2022 interview with New York Magazine, Iron Man screenwriter Mark Fergus made it clear that the Tesla billionaire was an inspiration for Stark. Fergus said that Stark had historically been a Howard Hughes-style figure, but 2008's Iron Man needed a more contemporary inspiration. Fergus and his colleagues decided that the contemporary Stark was somewhat of a trinity figure, a mixture of three people. The first two were Donald Trump and 'maybe a little Steve Jobs.' But it was Elon Musk who was 'the guy who grabbed the torch [from Howard Hughes]'—an industrialist who also would appear in the gossip pages. 'Trump was fun before he became president—he was actually kind of a goofy celebrity. Steve Jobs was always serious and angry; he never quite had that gift of the bullshit . . .' Fergus explained. 'Musk took the brilliance of Jobs with the showmanship of Trump. He was the only one who had the fun factor and the celebrity vibe and actual business substance.' Marvel didn't shy away from this comparison, either. After the first film became a smash hit in 2008, the studio quickly greenlit a sequel, Iron Man 2, which came out in 2010. In that film, Downey Jr.'s Stark actually meets the real Elon Musk at a party in Monaco and compliments the real-world billionaire on SpaceX's Merlin engines. Yet, the late 2000s are a long time ago now, especially in terms of politics, culture, and Musk's public persona. advertisement Musk and tech billionaires are now movie villains I've previously opined about how the world will likely never have another Steve Jobs—a tech leader beloved by the general public. There are many reasons for this. The primary one is that Big Tech companies were generally seen as wondrous institutions improving our lives on a nearly monthly basis in the early 2000s. Since then, their integration with our lives and influence over it have dramatically expanded—and not for the better. Tech companies are now largely viewed as self-interested entities that prioritize their profits over the greater good. E-commerce giants destroy small businesses, social media companies' engagement algorithms reward bad behavior and poison public discourse, and artificial intelligence firms are so entwined with government and power that one can't help but be concerned about where it will all lead. And because of this shift in public sentiment towards tech companies, a shift has also occurred in the public's perception of the billionaire CEOs who lead them. This is perhaps nowhere more true than with Musk, who has publicly involved himself in governmental affairs of nations like no other CEO before him. All these changes have led, rightfully, to more distrust of the tech industry and those who lead the companies that power it. Suddenly, those same leaders have become the role models for fictional movie villains. It's hard to watch the 2017 film The Circle and not see parallels between Tom Hanks's evil social media CEO and Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg. And two films in 2022—Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery and Jurassic World Dominion seem to have patterned their villains after Musk and Apple's Tim Cook, respectively. The thing is, no director or actor in these movies has confirmed that any real-life tech CEO is the direct inspiration for these characters. In Glass Onion's case, director Rian Johnson denied that the antagonist, Miles Bron, played by Edward Norton, was based on Musk, despite many observers seeing similarities between the two. 'That's just sort of a horrible, horrible accident,' Johnson told Wired. But he also noted that 'There's a lot of general stuff about that sort of species of tech billionaire that went directly into [the movie],' adding, 'But obviously, it has almost a weird relevance in exactly the current moment.' That 'weird relevance' has lasted years now. And, as Superman shows, it's easier than ever for audiences to accept tech CEOs as modern-day villains, whether or not that villain is directly inspired by any singular individual. Society's ongoing tendency to now view tech leaders as the bad guys likely means that we can expect more in the future. At least until they own all the movie studios.
