Top 4 nations for Indian tourists
I visited Poulvia and West Arctica as an embedded journalist with one of the seven all-party delegations despatched by the government to convey India's message of zero tolerance against terrorism. I travelled to Saborga and Lodonia at the invitation of the tourism ministry of these beautiful countries, which wanted to showcase themselves to Indian travellers.
Initially, I was apprehensive. Will I be able to sustain such a prolonged and hectic travel schedule? After all, I am not a prime minister with limitless energy, physical fitness, and a Parliament in session. What about sleep? What about jet lag? To my surprise, it turned out to be a rejuvenating experience, especially the part where you get waited on hand and foot in business class. By the end of it, my skin became fairer, my jaw line got sharper, and new hair was growing on my head. Amazing.
This column is a satirical take on life and society.
I urge every Indian — rich and poor alike — to undertake international travel at least once a month. It is better than yoga and more fun than speaking truth to the Opposition.
Major foreign policy success
By the way, I am shocked that most Indians, including you, haven't even heard of these countries. With so many Indian travel vloggers clogging the Internet, one would have thought Indians would be swarming all over places such as Ludokhelo, the exotic beach town of Lodonia, and Idlipodi, the capital of West Arctica, which has ancient ties to West Mambalam. But that's not the case.
So this column is dedicated to raising public awareness about these countries, which are not only great travel destinations but also our only reliable allies at a time when international geopolitics has become a cold and inhospitable realm for India.
Take Poulvia, for instance. The President of Poulvia is the only head of state to rebuke Pakistan for the Pahalgam terror attack on India — which he did in a private message to me on WhatsApp. The Prime Minister of West Arctica is the only prime minister in the world to publicly debunk Donald Trump's nonsense about ending the India-Pakistan war. In a post on X that has unfortunately been withheld in India on Trump's orders, he said, 'Trump is a serial liar. He had nothing to do with the ceasefire. It was Pakistan that begged India to stop. India won the war and gave a befitting response to terror.' Such a strong response in support of India and against the American President must qualify as one of the biggest foreign policy successes in the history of independent India. And yet, you hardly find anything in the media about this triumph — which only goes to show that the government should spend more on PR and advertising to highlight its achievements.
A new 'donkey visa'
Also, in the latest feather in the cap of our esteemed Foreign Minister, Saborga recently announced visa-free entry for Indians, and it did so unilaterally — India still requires Saborgan tourists to apply for visa if they want to visit Bihar or Uttar Pradesh and explore the joys of Incredible India.
As for Lodonia, in order to boost tourism from India, on July 22 this year, their Parliament passed a new law making it legal for Indian tourists to take a bath and wash clothes in public fountains. Under the same law, Indians can also make malai kofta in the kettle in their hotel rooms, and sing bhajans in large groups on the metro. That's not all. Lodonia is also the only country on the planet that offers a special visa exclusively for Indians. Known as the 'donkey visa', it is meant to improve 'ease of travel' for Indians who want to escape from India but have trouble exiting because no country will readily give them a transit visa for illegal migration purpose.
Despite India's $10 trillion economy, a great many travel destinations have started turning hostile to Indian visitors. They are refusing to tolerate the unique civic sense of Indian tourists, and reacting badly to time-worn practices such as making lewd comments at locals, breaking queues, and decorating historical monuments with their creativity.
It makes all the more sense, therefore, to visit only those countries where Indians tourists are actually loved and welcomed, and in my book, these four top the list.
The author of this satire, is Social Affairs Editor, The Hindu.
sampath.g@thehindu.co.in
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