He worked 70 hours a week building a startup until his child asked a simple question that changed his life and leadership style

Economic Times

3 days ago

iStock Cache Merrill initially prioritized his startup, leading to long hours and strained family relationships. A poignant question from his child prompted him to redefine leadership, emphasizing patience, empathy, and presence. (Representational image: iStock)
When Cache Merrill founded his software development startup Zibtek in 2009, he was already juggling more than most—three young kids aged 1, 4, and 7, and the relentless ambition to scale his business. Like many in the startup world, Merrill quickly got swept into the vortex of 60 to 70-hour work weeks, late-night client emergencies, and a schedule that barely left room for dinner at the table. But it wasn't the pressure from investors or clients that forced him to reassess his routine—it was a simple question from his child: 'Daddy, why don't you eat with us anymore?'
In a candid Business Insider article, Merrill opened up about the emotional toll of missing school performances, bedtime routines, and even casual conversations with his children. He admitted that while his spouse was understanding, the disappointment in his kids' eyes cut deeper than any business loss. 'The guilt,' Merrill noted, 'is a constant companion.'
This reflection echoes a growing conversation around the personal cost of startup culture, particularly in the wake of controversial viral statements like US-based Indian founder Neha Suresh's claim that '80-hour weeks aren't extreme. It's baseline.' While such statements fuel the 'grind till you make it' narrative, founders like Merrill are beginning to question if that hustle is truly worth it—especially when it risks the very relationships that ground them.
— Neha_Suresh_M (@Neha_Suresh_M)
For Merrill, the turning point wasn't just about being a better dad—it became about being a better leader. "Prioritising family taught me patience, empathy, and clarity,' he reflected, noting that these are now core values he brings into boardrooms and brainstorms alike. He gradually began drawing firmer boundaries: turning off his phone during family time, opting for check-ins with his now grown-up children, and striving to delegate more responsibilities within his team. His aim wasn't just a better work-life balance—it was sustainability, both at home and in business. Merrill's story arrives at a time when the glorification of overwork is facing increasing pushback. From Infosys co-founder Narayana Murthy's 70-hour work week call to Neha Suresh's now-infamous 14-hour day tweet, the tech industry continues to wrestle with where ambition ends and burnout begins.
Yet, as neurologist Dr. Sid Warrier recently pointed out on the For a Change podcast, the stress of long hours depends less on the clock and more on the emotional load. 'It's not about work or not work—it's about stress and no stress,' he said, emphasizing that purpose and connection play a vital role in mental resilience.
Now in his late 40s, Merrill still logs long hours, but with greater intention. His kids, now aged 16 to 23, no longer need bedtime stories—but they do appreciate nightly conversations and the presence of a father who has learned to show up in full. 'As they've grown, so have I,' Merrill shared. 'Being fully present—even if just for a few moments—can mean more than being physically around all day.'