Why quality mental health support is still some ways away for the LGBTQIA+ community

Mint

5 hours ago

In recent times, we've had movies like Kaathal – The Core (Malayalam) and Gulmohar (Hindi) that had prominent actors like Mammootty and Sharmila Tagore play gay and lesbian characters, respectively. The mental struggle these characters face has been portrayed adeptly too– Mathew's resistance to divorce his wife and Kusum's eagerness to let go of the home her husband built, in their own way showcase denial and defiance. In reality, however, the LGBTQIA+ community continues to face difficulties when it comes to address mental health issues. Based on conversations Lounge has had with members from the community, 'accessibility" and 'sensitisation" seem to be the main problems here.
'Queerness continues to be pathologized here even by mental health practitioners. The idea that it is something that needs to be 'cured' or 'treated' is still prevalent. Can you imagine how difficult it then becomes to even take those initial steps for help when you realise that these so-called 'safe' spaces themselves can be dehumanising?" wonders Srishti Pandey, 26, who identifies herself as asexual.
'Queer people, especially outside the major metros, face glaringly hostile environments and harmful, violent and illegal attempts to 'cure' queer people. There is little safety available in mental healthcare institutes, and often, it is quasi-religious places that offer anything close to care and they can be very hurtful places," says Bengaluru-based counsellor Mahesh Natarajan who identifies as gay. Pandey, who has tried therapy and found it helpful, shares that while her family and friends have been supportive, she has received biased reactions from others. Currently residing in England, she also reveals that life as an asexual has been relatively easier for her in the UK.
'Everyone faces challenges, it is just that the intensity with which members from the community face them is more, and the resources available for us are less," notes Aryan Somaiya, a Goa-based psychotherapist who identifies as a transman. As 34-year-old scientist Soham (last name withheld upon request) from Bengaluru points out, therapy can be expensive and out of reach for several people in the queer community. Listing out the issues the LGBTQ+ community faces while seeking therapy, he says, 'There are many people who prefer online consultations because going in person would mean taking time off work. Then there's the question of whether the therapist you are seeing has knowledge about the queer community, knows people who belong to the community, and is sensitised to the issues faced by queer people."
But that's not all. In a society where being comfortable in your skin is still a struggle for many, those belonging to the queer community have it doubly hard. 'I know of quite a few people, myself included, who tend to, at times, lead double lives," says Edwin Daniel, a Bengaluru-based entrepreneur who is gay. 'I have been lucky, because most of my colleagues and co-workers are comfortable with my identity. But, when there's a business meeting or I am meeting someone new for work-related purposes, I tend to do 'straight acting' or regulate the way I behave to meet heteronormative roles. But, for a lot of my counterparts, it is one kind of life from 10-7, and another life after 7pm," he adds.
HAMPERED BY THE LACK OF A STABLE SOCIAL STRUCTURE
According to Daniel, one of the main problems the LGBTQ+ community in India faces is the absence of a stable social structure. 'Since same-sex marriages aren't legal in India, unlike heterosexual people, we don't have milestones like getting married and having kids. This tends to take a huge toll on our mental health," he says. Soham concurs. 'Since these milestones are absent for us, the onus of creating a structure falls on us," he says. He also resonates with Daniel when he says that it is quite difficult, yet important, to find a therapist who is queer-sensitised and understands problems of the community. Finding that therapist, as Daniel notes, is not easy. 'One goes through numerous therapists, before landing on someone who understands you and suits your needs." After seeking therapy for five years, he reveals that he's only recently found a counsellor who 'understands me, what I am going through and helps me accordingly."
Bengaluru-based entrepreneur Prasenjit Chaudhari, 41, knew he was gay right from childhood but chose to hide it in a bid to belong, fit in. 'This attempt to hide your identity takes a toll on your mental health and the scars remain for a long time," he confesses. This is precisely why finding the right therapist becomes crucial, he says, but in a city where the community is small that can pose a problem. 'I came to Bengaluru in 2007 and have literally watched the community grow. I know nearly everyone in the community, and so, even if I do find a therapist who is queer, I know them on a personal level and that is something I try to avoid."
As a therapist, Natarajan says that he chooses to not counsel members from the community who are closely connected to his personal life. But for those who are strictly his clients, he says, 'We protect the client's privacy and confidentiality as fully as possible. It helps for the client to know that we are part of the community and not too distant from their realities."
According to Natarajan, a typical green flag when seeking a therapist from within the community is to check if they are well regarded for their general ethical practice. It's a big no-no if they have in any way breached client confidentiality or canvassed for influence. A good way to verify a therapist's ability is to reach out to (other members from the community) who have previously sought help from the said therapist, Natarajan advises.
The conversations do get louder every year during Pride Month in June but they barely scratch the surface. Issues like chem sex that can prove fatal to queer members are not explored in depth. 'While chem sex is common for everyone, it is a deeper issue for the queer community. It is not just loneliness that makes it a problem. Lack of safe resources, worries of being outed, health concerns, abandonment by family and other issues are all part of the problem," Natarajan says.
There's a lot of distance to be covered for sure, but every individual Lounge spoke to clings to glimmers of hope. 'The main thing that affects mental health for the LGBTQ community is social stigma and the feeling of being 'othered'. With greater integration and community building, people will flourish," Natarajan says. 'Broadly speaking, I want therapy to be easily accessible and destigmatized. And most importantly, I want (more) resources for patients and counsellors who are catering to LGBTQ folks because our struggles are widely different," says Daniel.
Sumitra Nair is an independent journalist based in Kochi.