Everything You've Wanted To Ask About Death — But Never Did
People often struggle to talk about death, yet many have pressing questions about dying, grief, and what happens afterward. Let's shed light on these concerns
In the Mahabharata, during the Pandavas' exile, the five brothers felt thirsty and sought water from a lake guarded by a Yaksha. The Yaksha demanded that they answer his questions before they could drink. However, none of the four younger brothers complied and drank forcibly, which resulted in their deaths as a punishment.
The eldest brother, Yudhishthira, then approached the lake, answered the Yaksha's questions wisely, and was asked the final question: 'What is the greatest truth of life?" Yudhishthira replied, 'Death."
Indeed, death is a truth we all must face eventually. Yet, discussing death is often challenging because many people are unprepared when it finally arrives.
Common Questions About Death And Dying
Recently, The New York Times invited readers to submit their questions about death and dying, covering a wide range of topics including inheritance and funeral planning, coping with grief, and maintaining control over one's final days.
While there may be cultural differences, many of these questions and situations are universal and relatable to people everywhere. Here, some of those questions and their answers are shared.
Everyone's final days are unique, but medical experts and hospital staff observe some common patterns. In the weeks leading up to death, people often eat and drink less and tend to sleep more. They may also feel restless, anxious, or confused, and some even experience hallucinations. Vital signs such as blood pressure and heart rate become irregular or slow. These symptoms usually worsen in the final days.
At this stage, individuals may struggle to swallow, their skin might turn blue, and their facial muscles can droop. Breathing becomes irregular and sometimes pauses altogether. The body temperature may fluctuate, becoming hot with fever or cold to the touch. Consciousness fades, and the person gradually slips into unconsciousness.
What Is A Death Rattle?
The 'death rattle' is a sound that comes from the back of the throat when a dying person breathes. It is estimated that around 40% of patients experience this sound at least once before death.
The death rattle can begin a few hours or days before death, occurring when the person has difficulty swallowing and clearing their throat, causing mucus and saliva to build up in the windpipe. When air passes through this accumulation, it creates a snoring, gurgling, or rattling noise.
Although it may seem as if the person is choking, they are not. Doctors believe the death rattle is neither painful nor uncomfortable for the dying person, who is often unaware of the noise, though it can be distressing for family and friends to hear.
Can A Dying Person Hear Those Around Them?
Experts in hospital care suggest that dying individuals can often hear and understand what is happening around them, even if unconscious. Some evidence indicates that patients in comas can respond to sounds and voices.
A small study in 2020 recorded brain activity in unconscious patients near death, showing they reacted to familiar sounds in a manner similar to healthy young adults.
Will I Know I Am Dying?
Possibly. Interviews with people who were revived after cardiac arrest suggest that many had some degree of awareness during the event, implying that there may be an instinctual recognition of approaching death.
Is The Time Near Death Painful?
Pain near death varies depending on the cause and the effectiveness of pain management. For some, particularly those with severe injuries or advanced stages of disease, suffering may continue until the very end.
However, the use of appropriate pain relief medications can significantly reduce or eliminate discomfort.
What Are Near-Death Experiences?
Dr Peter Fenwick, a leading researcher who passed away in 2024, extensively studied near-death experiences and documented over 300 cases in his 1995 book The Truth in the Light.
More than half of the people interviewed described travelling through a tunnel, and around three-quarters reported seeing a bright light or having a sensation of choosing to return to their earthly life.
What Is A Death Café?
A Death Café is a gathering where people come together to talk openly about death and dying. These events aim to raise awareness about death, reduce fear, and encourage individuals to make the most of their lives.
Death Cafés provide a safe space for sharing experiences, asking questions, and discussing concerns without judgement. The original Death Café was held in London in 2011, and since then, thousands have taken place worldwide, often accompanied by breakfast.
In India, similar forums have emerged, offering platforms for open dialogue about death, addressing fears, and helping participants find answers to their questions. For example, in Kerala, regular Death Café sessions are held with up to 20 participants. A facilitator guides the discussion to encourage everyone to share their thoughts and concerns freely.
What Happens To The Body After Death?
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After death, the body undergoes several changes. Initially, muscles and joints relax completely, causing the skin to loosen. It is common for the bladder and rectum to release their contents involuntarily, leading to soiling. The body begins to cool down as circulation stops, and blood settles due to gravity, resulting in pale and blotchy skin.
Within a few hours, rigor mortis sets in, causing the muscles to stiffen. This stiffness can last several days before the body relaxes again. These changes are a natural part of the body's post-mortem processes.
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July 30, 2025, 12:46 IST
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