
'I watched 13 Going On 30 after turning 30 and here's what they don't tell you'
No matter which out-of-touch, millennial pop culture term you use, the fact remains, you're in the third decade of your life. Statistically, you probably have another four to go. Yay.
The shift from being a twenty-something that loves partying till 4am to becoming the girl who wants to spend her entire weekend in bed watching a family drama called Parenthood was swift.
All of a sudden my usual vices weren't as appealing as they used to be. More importantly, I secretly loved that.
The weekend after I turned thirty, while indulging in said Netflix and chill; the boring, in-the-same-pyjamas-since-the-last-three-days kind, not the steamy kind - I happened to serendipitously chance upon 13 Going On 30. As a staunch believer of fate, chosen destiny, and all that other witchy voodoo – I knew I had to spend my next hour and 38 minutes watching Jennifer Garner go full ham on my TV screen.
And it was an hour and 38 minutes I did not regret.
So now, like any self-respecting journalist at a major news publication, I'm going to present you with 13 thoughts I had while watching 13 Going on 30 after turning 30 (side quest : say it as a tongue-twister 13 times).
1. Whether you're 13 or 30 - friendships will always be relevant
Like Jenna Rink retrospectively realised - choosing who to surround yourself with when you're a teen is supremely important, and it becomes even more glaringly obvious why when you're 30. My closest friends to date have all been in my life since I was a reckless teenager, and some from even before then.
These are the bonds that have survived the test of time, that have embraced me during gut-wrenching, crush-my-soul heartbreaks and been on the phone to me while I dealt with life-shattering disappointments. These are the people that at 30 - when all of a sudden, you become painfully aware of life - have held my hand from one panic attack inducing thought to the next. These are my people.
2. The movie has a banging soundtrack - and so should your life
3. Love is always going to be the thing that's worth fighting for
Because I didn't suddenly wake up in the body of my 30-year-old self with a built-in, famous, athlete boyfriend. No. I had to get through each painstaking, obstacle-wrought year with my long-distance boyfriend for eight years while he - worked at sea with only 50MB of data in a day, studied on another continent, existed in another time zone, traversed across a different hemisphere.
Now while we didn't have to resort to turning back time via magic fairy dust, we certainly had our fair share of ludicrous ups and downs. But like Jenna, we didn't give up and fought for our love. The result? The law is now officially involved in our relationship.
4. A good ol' slumber party with your girls (or boys) can fix anything, so make time for them!
But more generally - make time for your friends. Your older self will thank you.
5. You can't turn back time, no matter how hard you try
So, as much of a Hallmark-card cliché this may be - live in the now. Do that thing you're putting off, follow that passion you left behind when you were 12, travel solo to that remote island, make that career-pivot you're too scared to make, and tell that human you love them.
6. Sometimes, you just have to hide in a closet (or room, or bathroom) and have a good cry
It doesn't make you weak. It won't break your resolve. And most importantly - your skin will glow for a hot sec when you're done.
7. Thank god I left bitchy, back-stabbing, two-faced friends like Tom-Tom behind in high school
8. 'We made choices', said Matty. And those three words hit me like a ton of bricks
Because it's true - our whole lives are a sum total of our choices; good, bad, ugly. It helps absolutely no one if you sit and regret the choices you made. But you know who it helps if those choices are owned, studied, and learnt from? You.
9. Sexy, brooding, Mark Ruffalo-artistic-types will always be my weak spot
I don't make the rules.
10. 'You don't always get the dream house, but you get awfully close'
Having recently moved to London, sitting in my sweet little apartment overlooking the river with the love of my life as we blast retro music and cook a Full English on a Saturday, I'd say Matty Flamhaff was exactly right.
11. Jumping off a swing at the age of 30 is definitely going to hurt
Must try it anyway. Something about making this my fearless decade. This is obviously a metaphor.
12. When Jenna Rink said, 'I think all of us want to feel something that we've forgotten or turned our backs on, because maybe we didn't realise how much we were leaving behind', she was talking about her chance at love with Matty. But for me, watching this scene at the ripe (see how I avoided the old) age of 30 - all it reminded me of was home
The ever-supportive family I left behind in pursuit of my dreams almost a decade ago when I moved out. The mundane weekdays I've missed. The celebrations and milestones I've been absent from. All the ways in which I haven't been able to be there for them, by virtue of not being around physically. All of the familial responsibilities that have fallen on the innocent shoulders on my little brother. There's no point to this rumination - this is life. This is adulthood. And sometimes, it is what it is.
13. Occasionally, all you need to do is break out into rehearsed choreography on a certified banger. *Cue Single Ladies*
There's a quiet sense of triumph in watching 13 Going on 30, after turning 30.
For me - it lay in the realisation that my life was nowhere near as chaotic as grown-up Jenna Rink's. It lay in the fact that I have a solid set of friends that genuinely have my back - who celebrate my victories as theirs and my failures as "it just hasn't happened for you yet ". It lay in the fact that I was not stupid enough to let my Matty go when I first found him nine years ago. And it most definitely lay in the reality that I did make it home last Christmas.

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