Grandmother's response to mom 'giving in' to toddler at dinner sparks heated debate
The mother took to a popular Reddit channel last week to seek input on whether she made the wrong move during the dinner with her young daughter, her husband, his parents and his sister.
"My 3-year-old was getting cranky, and I could already feel a meltdown brewing," the mom wrote. "I tried crayons, snacks, everything. Nothing worked."
Finally, she gave the girl an iPad to watch cartoons on a low volume.
"She immediately calmed down and started eating," the mom said, adding that it "felt like a win."
But her husband's family disagreed.
The woman said her mother-in-law passive-aggressively remarked, "Kids these days don't know how to behave at the table anymore."
The woman's sister-in-law said, "Back in our day, we didn't need screens to sit still."
After dinner, the woman's husband said she could have "at least tried harder before giving in to screens."
The post garnered nearly 2,000 comments, with many Redditors slamming the mom for resorting to the device.
"Your mother-in-law was right," one person said.
"You should not give kids screen time when at a family meal," another person commented. "They need to learn to sit and chill … This is promoting bad habits."
Someone else wrote, "The dopamine hit and dependence on screen time isn't ideal for developing brains."
Michael G. Wetter, a pediatric psychologist from Los Angeles, said that screen time won't derail a child's development – but it shouldn't become the default.
"If screens are used routinely to pacify or distract, toddlers may come to rely on external stimulation instead of building internal coping mechanisms," Wetter told Fox News Digital. "This can contribute to difficulties with attention, frustration tolerance and emotional regulation as they get older."
The American Academy of Pediatrics urges zero screen time – except for video chatting – for children under age 2 and no more than an hour a day of high-quality, educational programming for kids 2 to 5 years old, Wetter noted.
Some internet users suggested taking the child for a walk and having books or toys on hand.
"If the child acts up, you remove the child from the restaurant," one of them said. "That's called parenting."
Wetter recommended keeping a "calm kit" with small toys and books.
"Toddlers are naturally distractible," he said. "Use that to your advantage."
He also said he prefers "connection over correction."
"Physical closeness, a calm tone or a silly game can shift the emotional climate," he said.
Many people drew the line at cartoons playing on a screen in a restaurant.
"No one wants to hear a kids' show while they're eating," one person wrote.
But others did not blame the mother alone, instead criticizing the husband and even the child's aunt and grandparents for not stepping in.
"Why wasn't your husband dealing with the impending meltdown, since he has so much to say about the matter?" someone asked.
They "shouldn't be judging you. They should be supporting you."
"Your husband, as well as the other adults at the table to a lesser extent, are [wrong] for not jumping in and trying to engage with your daughter," another Redditor said.
"Your parents-in-law shouldn't be judging you. They should be supporting you," one offered.
"You shouldn't have given [the girl] the iPad, and they should have kept their snark to themselves," another commenter said.
"Shaming a parent, especially publicly or in moments of stress, can be deeply damaging," Wetter warned, adding that it can cause anxiety, depression and burnout.
Fox News Digital reached out to the original poster for comment.
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