Serpentine Galleries boss Hans Ulrich Obrist's guide to London: the River Cafe and the Zoo's aviary
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Telegraph
10-07-2025
- Telegraph
I paid for my husband's creative retreat – I never imagined he'd find his new girlfriend there
As far as I knew, there was no sudden trigger that led to the end of my relationship with Mike* two years ago. Instead, it was death by a thousand cuts – the way he refused to talk about why I felt so sad, or the fact that he'd arrange to go out with a friend without consulting me, leaving me eating dinner alone. When I saw the recent speculation that Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom had split and he was already with someone else, my heart went out to her, because I know how humiliating that is. And though they appeared to be friends again, visiting Jeff Bezos on his honeymoon, I wonder how much pain she was concealing with her smile for the cameras – because trust me, being instantly replaced really hurts. As far as everyone else in our lives knew, our marriage of almost eight years was fine. We'd met via online dating in our early thirties, and though it was physical attraction that initially brought us together, we discovered we had lots in common – we both loved hill-walking and live music, we had similar values and we liked each other's friends. After two years, he proposed in a rowing boat on the Serpentine and I was very happy. Mike's job as a company manager was demanding, whereas I'm a music teacher and mostly work from home. We used to make an effort to do 'date night', but gradually, life got in the way. We had ageing parents who needed regular visits, weekends with Mike's son from a previous relationship who was struggling at school, and Mike was dealing with redundancies at work. After six years, our relationship felt like fire-fighting – but not together. If I tried to talk about 'us', he'd shut down. For his fortieth, I bought him a weekend away on a creative retreat, something he'd always said he'd love to do but didn't have time to pursue. I thought it might inspire him. When he came back, he said it was helpful, but seemed less inclined than ever to engage with me. We drifted on for another few months, but by then he was sleeping in the spare room due to our different bedtimes. Eventually, I made him sit down and asked if he still loved me. When he hesitated, I knew that was my answer. He said there was no one else, but he needed time alone to work out what he wanted from life and we were both deeply sad. Mike moved out to a friend's house the following day and we agreed not to talk for a while to let the dust settle. I struggled to come to terms with what had happened and would lie awake wondering if I could have done things differently, and saved our marriage. My parents were deeply upset, but they and my friends rallied round me. Less than three weeks later, I was on Facebook, scrolling, when I saw Mike tagged in a friend's photo. Next to him was a woman I'd never seen before, and he had his arm around her. I felt faint with shock, but I calmed myself down and thought perhaps it was just a fellow guest cosying up for the camera. Later that day, I mentioned it to a mutual friend, Cathy, hoping for reassurance, and she instantly looked embarrassed. When I pressed, she admitted she'd heard they met on the retreat and had 'kept in touch'. This was her first visit to see him – when he'd barely got the sheets on to his friend's spare bed. Suddenly, all our sad-but-kind agreement that we'd 'drifted apart' was exposed as lies. Yes, things had become lacklustre, but I truly believe that with some effort, maybe counselling, we could have recovered. Now I understood that Mike had already checked out of our relationship emotionally, having met Ella months earlier. I had no idea if anything had 'happened' that weekend, but I suspect so. I think he was waiting to see if things could work with her before he left me. I was beyond hurt, and deeply angry. I felt so stupid and so betrayed. I called him, and demanded to know the truth, but he swore that while they had kept in touch, she was just visiting 'as a friend' and that he 'wouldn't do that to me.' Within a few weeks though, it was clear that Ella was a lot more than that – suddenly she was his Facebook friend, and later that month, there they were again, at his friend's birthday drinks. Six weeks after we split, they were 'out' as a couple, commenting on each other's social media posts and looking blissfully happy in photos. I had to navigate the divorce and selling the house alone, knowing that he was already madly in love with my replacement. My friends were suitably furious on my behalf, but it didn't help. I felt utterly cast aside, as though he'd just been going through the motions until he could be with her. I'd go over and over conversations we'd had and berate myself. I am certain I would have felt able to move on much faster myself if Mike hadn't moved on at warp speed. They are still together and I'm currently single. I'm retraining as a music therapist and sharing a flat with a friend, but it's not what I'd planned for my forties. I genuinely feel the end of my marriage would have been a lot easier to cope with if I hadn't felt shoved aside so fast, in favour of a better option.
Wales Online
10-07-2025
- Wales Online
Stevie Wonder wows huge crowd with hit-filled performance in Cardiff as he closes Blackweir Live gigs
Our community members are treated to special offers, promotions and adverts from us and our partners. You can check out at any time. More info Away from all the controversies about the use of Blackweir in Cardiff for gigs, on Wednesday night I consider myself incredibly lucky to have been one of the tens of thousands to be standing in a park I love, in the my home city, listening to the absolute icon that is Stevie Wonder playing some of his classics just metres away from me. He is a global superstar with more accolades my word count will allow me to list, and he was right here on my doorstep, and what a night it was. The sun was shining, the venue was packed and he performed hit after hit after hit. Earlier in the week, as I was cooking dinner I'd asked Alexa to "play Stevie Wonder". For the next hour, every single song that came on was a classic, and seeing most of them live a few days later? Well, that's bucket list stuff. From superstar gigs to cosy pubs, find out What's On in Wales by signing up to our newsletter here . The 75-year-old performed for more than two hours - coming on stage just after 8pm, ending around 10pm, telling the crowd he "had to". Given half the chance, I reckon he'd have carried on, because I can't remember a gig I've seen where the artist was so clearly enjoying every minute. Coming on stage, guided by two of his children, he explained this night was all along the theme of Love, Light & Song - and drew attention to the importance of his outfit choice, a diamante studded jacket - with Martin Luther King on one side and Gandhi on the other. (Image: John Myers) He opened with Love's in Need of Love Today - a sentiment he explained was as important today as it was when released in 1976 and closed with As in between? Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours; Sir Duke and You Are My Sunshine, were highlights. He was presented, mid-show, with an honorary fellowship of the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama, and gave an impassioned speech about his life with sight loss. He told the crowd, "the truth is, shortly after my birth I became blind. That was a blessing because it allowed me to see the world in a vision of trust, see people in the spirit of them, not how they look, not what colour they are, but their spirits". The audience sang, boogied, swayed, and it was amazing to see the variety of ages of people there. Those who have been around for some if not all his career which started in 1962, right through to those much younger who have presumably fallen for the soul singer later in his career. He was joined on stage by his son, and support act Corinne Bailey Rae, they were the only relative breaks he took in the whole set. An impressive feat in a performance that was soulful, full of spirit and little short of beautiful. This was the last of the gigs at Blackweir, although the row over the use of the public land for gigs rumbles on, but the reviews I'd heard beforehand that it was a well organised event were true when it came to getting in, but I would say if they return, I think there's some work to do on the logistics. Downloading tickets has been a problem throughout the series as people struggled to get signal. The area we were in was packed, with huge bar queues, and our plan to eat was scuppered when we saw the massive queues there too. (Image: John Myers) Getting out was a slow affair, with relatively narrow lanes for pedestrians to exit. But even then, you can't say it ruined a night that is one which I'll never forget. A friend said to me as we left 'it was once in a lifetime, wasn't it?" and I can't disagree.
Evening Standard
19-06-2025
- Evening Standard
Serpentine Galleries boss Hans Ulrich Obrist's guide to London: the River Cafe and the Zoo's aviary
My first time working here was in 1996, when I was invited to guest-curate the exhibition Take Me (I'm Yours) at Serpentine. It was a show where visitors could do everything you're usually not allowed to do in a museum: touch the art, take things home. At the time, I had my first small apartment in London, on Crampton Street in Elephant and Castle. About 50 people had the key, coming and going from all over Europe. It was a place of constant exchange, conversations and impromptu meetings. Later, I guest-curated a show at Sir John Soane's Museum. At the time, the museum had a guest room reserved for Soane scholars — there aren't many of those in the world — and I was lucky enough to stay there, on and off, for nearly a year. It could be quite uncanny, sometimes even a bit spooky at night, but it was unforgettable.
