Gardening feels like outdoor housework to me but my wife is caught in its grip
garden
beautiful. Put in raised beds. I would nod supportively, partially because I wasn't sure what a raised bed was.
Not that the garden is ugly. The original owners of our house seem to have been skilled gardeners. Different plants burst into colour at different times of the year, while out the front there's a bottlebrush tree that blooms pink and then mauve. We routinely see passersby taking pictures of it. Occasionally they knock on our door to ask what it is. We have toyed with the notion of erecting a sign.
I am indifferent to gardening. I'll do the jobs I'm told to do, but to me it feels like outdoor housework. And I assumed that Herself was the same, except something was itching at her: a sense she should have an interest in plants; almost like she owed it to the house. Yet at the same time, part of her regarded gardening as an Old Lady activity: the sort of thing people end up doing because they can't think of any other way of filling their time.
Perhaps this ambivalence was sensed by the houseplants she first attempted to nurture. A lot of them died. But, like a B-movie evil scientist, she continued her crazed experiments. Some remained green, some quickly turned brown, and she would regularly bemoan her inability to keep things alive: as if this was a moral failing on her part. As if the plants knew her heart wasn't really in it.
READ MORE
Or so I assumed. Because as she continued and even extended her efforts, I didn't notice the slow change that was taking place within her. It still seemed like a chore she felt she had to perform, until the day she announced to me that she would like a raised bed.
When I say 'announced', I really mean 'instructed'. Construction projects are my department, so after a bit of googling and measuring and conversations with Herself that involved a lot of sighing and head-shaking on my part, I built one. It was fun to make, but surprisingly expensive: especially the soil-filling part. Nature costs a lot of money.
The plants that she eventually installed there cost even more. I only know this because when I asked, she deflected the question and once again presented her gardening habit as just another aspect of domestic maintenance. But I was starting to suspect otherwise. The plants in the raised bed were not only lovely, but very much alive – and I noticed now that this success had been replicated elsewhere, in dozens of pots inside and outside our home.
I noticed too how much time she was spending watering or pruning, and at odd hours. She'd get out of bed and the first thing she would do was reach for the secateurs. I was starting to feel like a gardening widower, while she suddenly seemed like a gambler who has had some luck with the horses, and can't help but continue to chase that dopamine hit.
[
From the archive: Confessions of a millennial house plant addict: Cacti are the new cocaine
Opens in new window
]
I may have been in denial. But I didn't fully realise the depth of her compulsion until we took a trip to that most benign-sounding venue: the garden centre. Ostensibly, it was to buy a bench. But it quickly became apparent that she had little interest in that. I did the bench-buying, while she danced among various shrubs, almost squealing with delight as she filled her trolley. Once again, she wouldn't tell me how much she paid, and it was only when we got home that she admitted that she doesn't know where these new shrubs will go. She doesn't have the room for them.
They crowd around our back door, as if seeking Herself's nurturing hands. And they look at me and seem to be thinking: we don't need him.
[
Five life lessons my garden taught me: Nature often has a quiet but not unkind laugh at our expense
Opens in new window
]
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Irish Times
4 days ago
- Irish Times
‘I'm disappointed by my vegetable yield. How can I do better?'
This is my first year growing vegetables in our family garden and the results so far have been mixed. Most of all, I'm disappointed by my beetroot plants, which never took off even though I gave them a good sunny spot. Any tips as to how I could do better next time? Ger Murphy, Dublin Typically raised from seed sowed in spring, this nutritious root vegetable is a staple of most kitchen gardens and allotments. Plants are fast-growing, typically taking seven to eight weeks to mature. While beetroot is usually considered an easy vegetable to grow, there are a few possible reasons why your plants haven't flourished. One is that you didn't thin out the young seedlings after they emerged. The seed of beetroot is what's known as 'multigerm', meaning that it's actually a tight cluster of several seeds which together produce several seedlings. To grow well and provide good-sized fruit, these typically need to be thinned down to just lone seedlings spaced 7.5cm-10cm (3-4inches) apart. Another possibility is that your seedlings didn't receive enough water. Beetroot likes a cool, moist but free-draining soil that never totally dries out. In very dry, hot weather such as experienced regularly this summer, it can struggle to grow well. READ MORE These kinds of growing conditions (as well as exposure to very cold temperatures shortly after sowing) can also lead the plants to 'bolt', where instead of their roots swelling, they start to produce flowers. For this reason, it's always a good idea to choose a bolt-resistant variety such as 'Boltardy, 'Pablo' or 'Red Ace'. Beetroot is also more likely to bolt when grown in a soil lacking in organic matter, as the latter is much more likely to quickly become overly dry in a warm, sunny spell. For this reason, it's a good idea to integrate some very well-rotted garden manure or home-made garden compost several months previous to sowing. Keeping young seedlings regularly well-watered is also important. Lastly, it may be the case that the soil in your garden is low in certain key plant nutrients, which will result in stunted growth. Next year, try integrating some handfuls of a well-balanced organic pelleted fertiliser such as Topmix ( ) into the soil, which will help to boost growth and produce happy, healthy plants.
Irish Times
4 days ago
- Irish Times
Gardening feels like outdoor housework to me but my wife is caught in its grip
At first, it was one of Herself's notions; one of those I-must-do-that-someday ideas: fill the house with plants. Make the garden beautiful. Put in raised beds. I would nod supportively, partially because I wasn't sure what a raised bed was. Not that the garden is ugly. The original owners of our house seem to have been skilled gardeners. Different plants burst into colour at different times of the year, while out the front there's a bottlebrush tree that blooms pink and then mauve. We routinely see passersby taking pictures of it. Occasionally they knock on our door to ask what it is. We have toyed with the notion of erecting a sign. I am indifferent to gardening. I'll do the jobs I'm told to do, but to me it feels like outdoor housework. And I assumed that Herself was the same, except something was itching at her: a sense she should have an interest in plants; almost like she owed it to the house. Yet at the same time, part of her regarded gardening as an Old Lady activity: the sort of thing people end up doing because they can't think of any other way of filling their time. Perhaps this ambivalence was sensed by the houseplants she first attempted to nurture. A lot of them died. But, like a B-movie evil scientist, she continued her crazed experiments. Some remained green, some quickly turned brown, and she would regularly bemoan her inability to keep things alive: as if this was a moral failing on her part. As if the plants knew her heart wasn't really in it. READ MORE Or so I assumed. Because as she continued and even extended her efforts, I didn't notice the slow change that was taking place within her. It still seemed like a chore she felt she had to perform, until the day she announced to me that she would like a raised bed. When I say 'announced', I really mean 'instructed'. Construction projects are my department, so after a bit of googling and measuring and conversations with Herself that involved a lot of sighing and head-shaking on my part, I built one. It was fun to make, but surprisingly expensive: especially the soil-filling part. Nature costs a lot of money. The plants that she eventually installed there cost even more. I only know this because when I asked, she deflected the question and once again presented her gardening habit as just another aspect of domestic maintenance. But I was starting to suspect otherwise. The plants in the raised bed were not only lovely, but very much alive – and I noticed now that this success had been replicated elsewhere, in dozens of pots inside and outside our home. I noticed too how much time she was spending watering or pruning, and at odd hours. She'd get out of bed and the first thing she would do was reach for the secateurs. I was starting to feel like a gardening widower, while she suddenly seemed like a gambler who has had some luck with the horses, and can't help but continue to chase that dopamine hit. [ From the archive: Confessions of a millennial house plant addict: Cacti are the new cocaine Opens in new window ] I may have been in denial. But I didn't fully realise the depth of her compulsion until we took a trip to that most benign-sounding venue: the garden centre. Ostensibly, it was to buy a bench. But it quickly became apparent that she had little interest in that. I did the bench-buying, while she danced among various shrubs, almost squealing with delight as she filled her trolley. Once again, she wouldn't tell me how much she paid, and it was only when we got home that she admitted that she doesn't know where these new shrubs will go. She doesn't have the room for them. They crowd around our back door, as if seeking Herself's nurturing hands. And they look at me and seem to be thinking: we don't need him. [ Five life lessons my garden taught me: Nature often has a quiet but not unkind laugh at our expense Opens in new window ]
Irish Times
5 days ago
- Irish Times
How to build a bird-friendly garden
As gardeners, we hear a lot about how to help support wild garden bird populations through the cold, dark months of late autumn, winter and early spring, when nutritious foodstuffs are at a minimum and a supplemented supply of vegetable fat, nuts and seeds can make all the difference. But what about the rest of the year? What plants, for example, will help provide sustenance to Irish birdlife in the thick of an Irish summer or in early autumn? The answer to that question includes everything from the nutritious seedheads, fruits, nuts and berries of common garden 'weeds' and native wild species such as dandelions, dock, ragwort, thistle, teasel, elder, willowherb, blackberry, crab apple, hawthorn and sloe, to those of cultivated kinds including birch, rowan, sunflower, pear, fig, apple, raspberry, strawberry, roses, kale, stipa, pennisetum, cotoneaster, zinnia, cosmos, nigella and eryngium. The tiny seeds of silver birch, for example, are loved by tits and greenfinches, while thrushes and blackbirds like nothing more than to feast on the ripe berries of rowan trees and elderberries. Specialist seed-feeding species such as goldfinches will also eat the seeds of a wide variety of common garden weeds as well as those of lavender, which they find delicious, while siskins love the seeds of many kinds of common tree species including pine, spruce, alder and birch. Omnivorous robins, meanwhile, will eat a wide variety of fruit from sloes and grapes to hawthorn berries, overripe apples and the seedheads of sunflowers. As for the shy and secretive jay, its love of acorns draws it to gardens where oak trees grow. Rowan tree Plants' role as a source of food aside, our gardens and allotments also play an essential role in creating valuable habitats for the kinds of garden minibeasts that species of wild birds rely on for food, from earthworms, slugs, ants and beetles to aphids, flies, spiders and caterpillars. READ MORE If you've ever been out and about very early in the morning, for example, you'll almost certainly have spotted blackbirds and thrushes using their sharp beaks to search flowerbeds and lawns for earthworms, slugs, insects and snails. A female blackbird. Photograph: Getty Woodpeckers and treecreepers will also visit gardens in search of insects concealed inside dead wood, a good reason to have a nature-friendly woodpile where they can forage, or perhaps to leave some of the fallen branches of a storm-toppled tree in a quiet corner to rot down. Dunnocks also feed mainly on small insects, and can often be found rummaging around in the fallen leaf litter beneath trees and hedges, yet another good reason not to be too tidy-minded when it comes to our gardens. As for those who would love nothing more than to have their garden visited by owls, perhaps consider developing even a small area of it as a meadow or leaving an area as rough, uncut grass. This will provide a valuable habitat for field mice, voles and shrews, all of which these nocturnal birds love to feed on. A pygmy shrew. Photograph: Getty Endlessly engaging, entertaining and life-affirming, garden birds also play an invaluable role as natural pest controllers in our gardens. Many, for example, will happily feed on aphids and caterpillars, dramatically reducing the latter's ability to damage a wide range of food crops and ornamental plants as well as to spread plant diseases. Create the right habitats for blackbirds, thrushes and starlings in the shape of leafy garden hedges, trees and shrubs, and they'll reward you by significantly reducing damage to plants from slugs and snails. Meanwhile, along with naturally managing rodent populations, barn owls play a specialist role in controlling populations of the greater white-toothed shrew, a non-native, invasive species that threatens to displace populations of Ireland's native woodmouse and pygmy shrew. Birds also play an important role in seed dispersal. Ever wondered exactly how a pretty plant arrived in a flower bed uninvited? There's a good chance that its seed was carried on the plumage of a visiting bird or was excreted by it after being eaten. Many native species of plants are routinely spread this way, including hawthorn, sloe, guelder rose, spindle tree, holly, crab apple, strawberry tree, elder, oak, cherry and yew. The elusive jay's love of acorns, for instance, and its habit of secretly hoarding caches of them, has helped oak trees to spread naturally in the wild. Seed of many kinds of non-native garden ornamentals is also similarly dispersed by garden birds, including those of the medlar tree, honeysuckle, Solomon's seal, species of berberis, lily of the valley and mahonia. An invaluable part of the complex, ever-shifting ecosystems of our gardens, allotments, parks and public outdoor spaces, the worrying decline of many of Ireland's native and visiting bird species is the result of a complex combination of factors from climate change and habitat loss to disease and exposure to human-made poisons. But the good news is that we gardeners can play a significant role in countering that decline simply by adopting a variety of planet-friendly ways of gardening. We can avoid the use of garden insecticides and weedkillers, for example, which destroy the plant and insect species that birds rely on for food. Or we can minimise or avoid altogether our use of slug pellets, and rely instead on visiting or resident birds to do the job for us. Just making space for some small, wilder corners within our gardens can also have a dramatic effect in encouraging the development of the fragile ecosystems upon which they depend. This could be preserving an old random rubble garden wall, whose nooks and crannies offer valuable nesting sites as well as habitats for insects that they can feed upon. Or perhaps creating a green/living garden shed roof to provide a safe space for them to feed on seeds and insect life. Growing a hedge, especially one that uses a mix of flowering and fruiting native species, is also enduringly bird-friendly. So is mowing the lawn less frequently, or cultivating a patch of native meadow. Last but definitely not least, a simple garden pond will help to attract the kinds of garden insects and amphibians that are the stuff of many bird's diets, while even a tiny birdbath (make sure to scrub it down regularly to keep it clean) will draw in visiting birds. Not only will they both act as precious sources of drinking water, but they'll also provide endless opportunities for birdwatching, a win-win for everyone concerned. This week in the garden In the kitchen garden or allotment, protect soil structure and boost soil fertility by sowing green manure into recently emptied beds. A wide range of varieties are suitable for sowing at this time of year, from fast-growing non-hardy species such as mustard to hardier kinds such as red clover and winter tares that can be overwintered. Seed suppliers include . As night-time temperatures become cooler and plant growth slows, be extra vigilant when it comes to properly ventilating greenhouses and polytunnels as well as watering them consistently and sufficiently, but never too much. Also act quickly to remove any dead, decaying or diseased plants. Dates for your diary ISNA Plant Fair Loughcrew Gardens, Oldcastle, Co Meath; August 17th. With stalls by many of the country's leading independent small specialist nurseries. A Celebration of Salvias & Dahlias Hunting Brook Gardens, Blessington, Co Wicklow; August 18th (10.30am-4pm). A one-day, hands-on workshop on propagating, cultivating, designing with and arranging these stars of the summer flower garden with Jimi Blake and Fionnuala Fallon (€120, includes refreshments). Irish National Vegetable Championships The Showgrounds, Moate, Co Westmeath; Sunday, August 24th (10am-5pm). Annual competition takes place as part of the Moate Agricultural Show and includes a new junior category. See for schedule and downloadable entry forms.
