‘Amitabh mera tha, mera hai, aur mera hi rahega': When Jaya Bachchan reportedly confronted Rekha over their relationship; how emotional ownership complicates love

Indian Express

5 hours ago

In emotionally complex relationships, especially when a third person becomes involved, it is difficult to find the right way to set boundaries. Writer and film expert Hanif Zaveri recently revisited the widely speculated dynamic between Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bachchan, and Rekha in an episode of the Meri Saheli podcast.
Zaveri said that the bond between Amitabh and Rekha began during the shooting of their film Do Anjaane. He said, 'Woh log bahut kareeb aa gaye aur pata nahin kaise ek doosre ke pyaar mein pad gaye. Lekin yeh 100% tha ki dono ek doosre ko chahne lage the (They grew very close, and somehow, they fell in love with each other. But one thing was certain — they had truly started to care for one another).'
He also claimed that the course of their relationship shifted dramatically after Amitabh's near-fatal injury on the set of Coolie. 'After Amitabh Bachchan's accident on the set of Coolie, Jaya Bachchan played a very important role, staying by his side at the hospital 24/7, taking care of him, meeting with the doctors… When Amitabh saw all this, certain things naturally began to shift, and he started drifting away from Rekha,' he recalled, speaking in Hindi.
Zaveri recalled Jaya's bold step of confronting Rekha. 'It is said that Jaya Bachchan once invited Rekha over for lunch at her home. Uss waqt Amitabh Bachchan ghar mein the nahi. Unko achhe se khana-wana khilaya gaya, wahaan ki bahut saari gupshup hui. Aur gupshup karne ke baad, jab last mein jab jaane ka time aaya toh Jaya Bachchan ne Rekha se kaha: 'Dekho, Amitabh mera tha, mera hai, aur mera hi rahega' (At the time, Amitabh Bachchan wasn't at home. Rekha was served a lovely meal, and the two engaged in a long, friendly chat. But as Rekha was about to leave, Jaya reportedly said to her: 'Look, Amitabh was mine, is mine, and will always be mine.').'
Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, 'In love triangles, the emotional urge to confront the third person is often strong. It comes from fear, betrayal, and a deep need to reclaim a sense of emotional control. But more often than not, what needs to be confronted is not just the third person — it's the emotional rupture between the original two people in the relationship.'
If someone does decide to speak to the third person, Raj explains, it's essential that it's not done from a place of desperation or emotional collapse. 'Anger is valid. Hurt is valid. But no conversation should happen to control the other person's presence. It needs to come from clarity — not chaos.'
Jaya Bachchan told Rekha to back off at the end of their meeting. Raj, reflecting on the same, says, 'Many of us are taught to equate love with permanence. In Indian families, especially, ideas like 'ek baar mera hai toh hamesha mera hai (once mine, always mine)' are common. But relationships are not objects to own. Emotional ownership — this belief that someone should always remain yours — can come from unprocessed grief, insecurity, or past abandonment. It often means that the person is holding on to the idea of the relationship more than its actual, present truth.'