My Wedding Day with Niamh Hogan: 'We didn't have any rings, we got matching tattoos instead'
But then — and this is in no way romantic — we started thinking that to protect each other and our daughter we should think about getting married.
So we booked the registry office for the end of July 2017. It was literally in this lady's office ... she just put a tablecloth over her desk.
We didn't have any rings, and with the nature of my job where I was travelling around doing facials and things like that I didn't want to get a ring because I was afraid I would lose it.
So we got matching tattoos instead. We both got triangles on our forearms, so when we're holding hands they're right next to each other. In my triangle there are trees and in Paul's there's a wave.
We had a lovely day with our two witnesses and our daughter Bella, who was 12 at the time. And then two weeks later, on August 5 — the bank holiday weekend — we said we'd have a party to celebrate getting married.
We had the party in The Old Deanery in Ferns, County Wexford. We invited 32 people — 12 of them were children, so essentially our family and their kids. We had our witnesses, and then we had one extra friend each. And we didn't tell anybody else.
We were calling the party 'a wedding', because no-one had been to the registry office, and for our parents we thought we should have some kind of event. We decided to have a ceremony: we got our friend to perform a service, but it was a fake ceremony.
Niamh Hogan and her husband Paul and daughter Bella participating in a sand ceremony.
She wasn't a celebrant or anything, but she wrote the most beautiful ceremony. Secretly she spoke with our families and got quotes from them about us or our relationship and it was so lovely and heartfelt.
And then, our daughter Bella has the most beautiful singing voice but had never sung in front of anyone. I convinced her to sing at the ceremony and she sang A Thousand Years and had everyone in tears, it was so beautiful.
There was no big planning for the day at all, it was all very relaxed. But there were loads of little moments like Bella singing that made the day so special. We got all the little kids (those who were old enough to read) to come up and tell us their wish for our future and they were so cute. It really was a family celebration.
We didn't have any rings so we did a sand pouring ceremony instead — myself, Paul and Bella did it with three different coloured sands, and that was lovely.
It was lashing rain on the day, and after the ceremony we all went to the cellar bar in the complex, and because of the weather they had lit the fires and it was so cosy. We had bubbles there and we did the speeches, but the speeches were so chilled, and we all spoke just sitting down.
It was intimate and meaningful, and we didn't want that part to end.
Then we all went back to the barn area where they had laid out a long table in the middle and we had a buffet meal there. And then we had a band afterwards, and they played all sing-a-long songs, so myself, my sister, and my daughter were all singing half the night.
Niamh Hogan and her husband Paul.
We didn't do most of the traditional stuff; we didn't have a wedding cake, we didn't have a first dance. I didn't wear a wedding dress. My mom had asked me before the day what was I going to wear and I said I'd find something in my closet. She said: 'No way, I'm buying you a new outfit for your wedding.' So I got a lovely outfit on Folkster that I still wear to nights out — I wore it once to an awards event.
The whole day was just a party really, a big party with all the important people in our lives and a real celebration of family and love. And we were all so relaxed and chilled and we had the best time with everyone.
Then the funny thing is about three years ago coming up to Christmas, my husband asked me what I wanted and I said: 'Let's just do something nice together instead of gifts'.
He surprised me on Christmas Day with a workshop where we went and forged our own wedding rings.
I absolutely adore the ring, and I just know that if I'd gotten a ring when we actually got married, I probably would have lost it, or I wouldn't have worn it, because I would have been afraid I'd lose it, whereas now I never take it off my finger. It just means so much more to me. And it has its own story.
Niamh is the founder and CEO of award-winning Irish skincare brand Holos Skincare, an active plant-powered skincare that's available on holos.ie and at selected pharmacies nationwide
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