Death without a will, and the mess left behind
Photo:
supplied
Auckland couple Jay* and Rachel* have found out the hard way what happens when a loved one dies without a will.
When Jay's sister Lizzy* died suddenly aged just 39, leaving behind two young children, they searched the house for some indication of what her wishes were.
"We were in this grieving process and we didn't know what to do," Rachel says. "We were just hoping and hoping something would eventuate, and it didn't.
"We were really looking for some guidance around what are her wishes? What does she want [done] with her possessions?
"And we were really left holding the bag. We couldn't find a will."
Things got worse.
Lizzy had been separated from her husband for a year, and both partners had new relationships. But in the eyes of the law, they were within the two-year legal separation period, so they were still officially married - and everything went to her former spouse.
"Unfortunately she had this loose end. Due to a loophole that he was able to exploit, he was able to take all of her estate, and rob their two kids of their inheritance."
That included a new, substantial life insurance policy clearly meant for the children.
Rachel says the children have been left with no mother, no security, and no inheritance.
She says the ex lawyered up, and the law was on his side.
They do not know if anything has been set aside for their niece and nephew, but they do know the former husband has suddenly acquired some big ticket items including a boat, a car and a house.
He has custody of his children and Rachel believes they will benefit from these things, but she does not think it is fair to be spending up large while they are minors.
If there had been a will, she says: "We would have been able to grieve a bit more, because we would have had the clarity of how to navigate this whole messy situation. It's really torn our family apart in a lot of ways.
"We want what's best for the kids, and we don't know what she wanted. We're not mind readers."
Today marks the start of Wills Week, where the spotlight is shone on why you shouldn't put off this most vital of life admin tasks.
The Detail
speaks to Cat Simpson from the Public Trust about the costs, procedures and pitfalls involved when drawing up - or putting off - a will.
If you have more than $15,000 in assets (don't forget to count KiwiSaver), if you're married, have had children, got divorced; if you have gold bars stashed under the floorboards or cash in the mattress that no one knows about; if you have a family heirloom stashed somewhere secret; or want all your money given to cat causes; you should have a will.
But about half of adult New Zealanders don't have a will, which Simpson describes as "quite startling" when you think about how important it is.
About one in 10 people do not have a will when they die.
"I'd say there's an invincibility among younger New Zealanders, [who think] 'I don't need to think about it, it's not time yet'. We did some research recently and one in five people over 55 said it was just too emotionally hard to talk about it; they didn't want to talk about it with their loved ones, they didn't want to talk about it with us. It's just a big topic.
"It's a real shame because actually not doing it is a burden on your family. I like to think of writing a will as being the greatest gift you can give to people once you've gone."
In today's podcast Simpson explains how to get the job done without even leaving the house, and goes through the vital stages in life where you need to write, and to update, your will.
*Names have been changed to protect the identities of children involved.
Check out how to listen to and follow
The Detail
here
.
You can also stay up-to-date by liking us on
or following us on
.
Sign up for Ngā Pitopito Kōrero, a daily newsletter
curated by our editors and delivered straight to your inbox every weekday.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
RNZ News
an hour ago
- RNZ News
Family of man who died after being pepper sprayed seeks answers
An image of Caleb Moefa'auo positioned in the witness box. Photo: RNZ/Felix Walton The family of a man who died after he was pepper sprayed at Auckland's Mt Eden Corrections Facility in 2022 are seeking answers at a coronial inquest this week. The first part of an inquest into the death of 26-year-old Caleb Moefa'auo began on Monday with a prayer led by his grandfather. "Hopefully this inquest will give us the wisdom and understanding through our discussion and deliberation so at the end of the day, Caleb's passing is used to maybe somehow change the system so it won't happen to the future generations of this country," he said. Moefa'auo's immediate and extended family filled the public gallery, wearing shirts and badges in his memory. Caleb Moefa'auo died on 5 April 2022 from a cardiac arrest shortly after he was pepper sprayed by an officer at the Mt Eden Corrections Facility. He had previously been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and was staying at Tiaho Mai, a residential unit to support people with mental health issues, after pleading guilty to aggravated assault and shoplifting in June of 2021. In December of 2021 he was sent to Mt Eden Corrections Facility after allegedly assaulting a fellow patient at Tiaho Mai, and he was later found to be at risk of self harm and placed in the Intervention and Support Unit. The lawyer assisting the coroner, Rebekah Jordan, outlined the facts of the case. "On the morning of the 5th of April 2022, Caleb had a shower. "Once out he used three towels to dry himself with. After taking a fourth towel, an acting senior corrections officer left the staff base and approached Caleb while holding a can of pepper spray. Caleb was told to pass the towel to one of the other corrections officers, which he did," she said. "Caleb was then directed to get on his knees, which he started to do before standing back up, when the acting senior corrections officer shouted at him. [The officer] then deployed pepper spray as Caleb backed away." "Caleb was clearly affected by the pepper spray. A number of officers restrained Caleb on the ground and placed him in handcuffs... While this was happening Caleb repeatedly apologised and made the first of a number of comments that he could not breathe." Jordan said that Moefa'auo claimed he could not breathe 11 times as officers took him outside to be decontaminated. He was then taken back to his cell and forced to the floor, where he stopped responding. The prison officer who sprayed Caleb Moefa'auo was charged with assault but found not guilty by a jury. The jury was not told that Moefa'auo had died, as the fact was deemed prejudicial. Moefa'auo's family became emotional as Jordan recounted the events of his death. Caleb's mother Justine Moefa'auo explained to Coroner McKenzie why the family had sought an inquest. "To us Caleb was not a criminal, he was unwell and in crisis. From what we've seen and understand, Caleb was not acting aggressively. He was distressed, not violent," she said. "We have serious concerns about the use of pepper spray on someone experiencing a mental health crisis. It's use in confined spaces, especially on a vulnerable person already in distress carries real risk. "We hope the coroner may consider whether current policies and training on the use of pepper spray for mentally unwell individuals are adequate to protect their safety and dignity. "We would like to see better access to appropriate mental health facilities, more training for staff in both health and custodial settings, and a stronger, more responsive system that supports people before they fall through the cracks." The first phase of the inquest continues this week with a focus on Department of Corrections' policies and training. It will be followed with a second phase in November with evidence from the officers involved. Sign up for Ngā Pitopito Kōrero , a daily newsletter curated by our editors and delivered straight to your inbox every weekday.
RNZ News
an hour ago
- RNZ News
Khandallah murder trial: Murder victim's eerie message played in court
Helen Gregory was killed in her Khandallah home in January 2024. Photo: Supplied "Not that I'm thinking of dying tomorrow or anything," said 79-year-old Helen Gregory, who would be killed in her home in the Wellington suburb of Khandallah the following day. The audio comes from a phone call to her bank, made on the evening of 23 January 2024. It was played to the High Court on Monday, where her daughter Julia DeLuney is charged with her murder. The trial is now in its fourth week. The court previously heard that DeLuney invested a large sum of money on her mother's behalf into crypto currency , which she had been trading in for years. In an email sent on 22 January - two days before her mother's death - DeLuney told her mother her money had made a profit of more than $268,000 - "not a bad investment for six months", she wrote. She recommended they withdraw the profit, and leave the initial investment of $100,000 there to keep growing. DeLuney then told her mother she needed to pay $30,000 in exchange fees and tax liability to be able to withdraw the money. She said she could cover half, but needed her mother to pay rest. The following morning, Gregory wrote back that she agreed it was a good idea to cash up. DeLuney urged her not tell anyone about the profit. "Please please please don't show this to your friends, once people know that you've made some money they will change," she said. And in a later email: "Don't tell the bank about your crypto profits, they won't lend you a thing if you tell them that." On 23 January - the day before her death - Gregory went to the bank and deposited $6000 cash into her daughter's account, according to written evidence from the bank assistant who served her. Later that day, she phoned up to take money out of her Kiwisaver. "We're pre-paying a funeral thing," she explained. "Not that I'm thinking of dying tomorrow or anything." This part of the recording was met by a collective intake of breath from the public gallery. But the Crown says DeLuney misrepresented her mother's money having made a profit. Attached to her initial email, DeLuney sent her mother a screenshot of her account's profit and loss for the past three months. But the screenshot was of someone else's earnings, the Crown says. Crown witness Detective Constable Tobias Weavers, who investigated DeLuney's crypto accounts, told the court on Monday the screenshot matched a graph of a different user's account, publicly available on the leaderboard of crypto-trading platform WOO X. The Crown's case is that DeLuney attacked her mother and staged it to look like a fall, but the defence says, in the 90-minute window when she went to get help after the fall, someone else caused fatal injuries to her elderly mother . DeLuney cried quietly in the dock while her mother's voice played to the court. The trial continues, with only a handful of Crown witnesses to go. Sign up for Ngā Pitopito Kōrero , a daily newsletter curated by our editors and delivered straight to your inbox every weekday.
RNZ News
2 hours ago
- RNZ News
Police warn public not to evade wanted man Louis Pukeroa
Photo: Supplied / NZ Police Police say they are seeking Louis Pukeroa, who they have a warrant to arrest, and have warned the public to stay away if they spot the man. A spokesperson said the Whakatāne man was believed to be actively evading police and should not be approached. The spokesperson asked anyone who sees Pukeroa or knows where he is to call police on the emergency number 111 and quote file number 250701/1234. Any other information could be provided via 105 using the same file number, the spokesperson said. Alternatively, information could also be provided anonymously via Crime Stoppers on 0800 555 111. Sign up for Ngā Pitopito Kōrero , a daily newsletter curated by our editors and delivered straight to your inbox every weekday.
