4 quotes that could permanently change how you see the world

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3 days ago

You need only look within to see the power of change afoot.
Word economy has always been my foremost goal as a writer.
I want to say as much as I can with the fewest words possible.
This is why I've been collecting cool quotes for years now. They contain the ultimate power of writing — and the ability to change how you see the world.
The worst quality I see in partners
Somewhere between age 25 and 30, I grew deeply resentful of people who can't apologize.
My ex — and her entire family — were all incapable of saying sorry, no matter how obvious and needed the apology was. I'm convinced that if she even tried to apologize, her lips would tremble and she'd clench her fists and go into a seizure.
In her family, feuds never ended. People stopped talking to each other over trivial disputes. I didn't get a single apology across the entirety of our long relationship.
She and her brother were in a fight (which I never understood the cause of — a sign it was something insignificant). During Christmas, they stood on opposite sides of the house, avoiding speaking with each other, making the holiday mega-awkward.
I'd still prefer someone skipped the apology if the behavior isn't going to change.
My friend's deadbeat dad just rattled off apology after apology after never coming through for her.
He'd forget to call her on her birthday, always be broke, unemployed, and partying like a frat boy (he was in his 50s). She couldn't count on him for a single damn thing.
It was around this time that a friend said to me, 'An apology without change is just manipulation.'
Apologies shouldn't be a flare gun to fire off in emergencies to create a distraction. Those words should be seen as agents of change and given the respect they deserve.
The importance of progress
Does this describe someone you know?
They always have something negative to say about other people.
They take any opportunity to criticize someone else.
Yet when you offer even a minor criticism of them, they blow up.
They can dish it out but not take it. These people are a pain in the neck and unless you are related to them, I'd consider cutting them off.
There's an old adage, 'Those who can't take criticism need it the most.'
These people are frequently in the non-apologizer club too. They fly through life blind and never evolving.
One thing experience has taught me with certainty — when people react strongly to criticism, it usually represents insecurity. A deeper and more honest part of them senses guilt. They lash out to protect themselves.
A common example: when a girlfriend mentions a woman's hyper-flirty Facebook comment to her overly-jealous boyfriend and he starts shouting about how he's not cheating.
Some people seem quite afraid of seeing themselves.
It harkens to an old Central American adage, 'If ten people tell you you're drunk, lie down.'
Spinning through the air
I struggle with indecision.
I'm so risk-averse and it's often over laughably low-stakes stuff too. It's not like I'm not on the Bachelor, trying to pick my bride from of a dozen classy beautiful women who are all pining for attention. I spin in circles trying to figure out what's for dinner.
I found 'the nuclear option' for when I can't decide between two good options. I discovered it while watching, of all things, No Country for Old Men:
'When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for.'
We secretly know what we want most of the time.
It's like when my spouse asks me for my opinion on two pairs of clothes to wear. I give my opinion and she just goes with her own version either way.
When all else fails, toss a coin. The act of taking the decision out of your own hands has a way of surfacing what you really want.
The strange life of a genius
I coached swimming in the mid-2000s and it probably won't surprise you that my most challenging group was the middle school boys.
They constantly looked for ways to troll me and push the boundaries. It was lewd humor and madness. Yet while a few of them were difficult — others needed help.
They were 'different'.
Consequently, they were bullied relentlessly at school. They often came to practice upset about how their day had gone. I identified with them on so many levels.
I've spent my entire life having people tell me, 'You are one weird dude.' I would reassure them that they were simply misunderstood and that they were in good company: some of the greatest people to ever live were treated as weirdos.
The mega-genius, Friedrich Nietzsche, was in this camp at one point too.
He was, by very definition, different than his peers. People tend to attack things they don't understand.
Throughout his life, he proposed many wild and brilliant ideas, faced his share of critics, and endured his own moments of social isolation.
One line he wrote, that I encourage any who feel misunderstood to remember:
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.
Humanity is filled with wild and shimmering variety. Those who see 'different' and attack are afraid of their own authenticity.
Don't shy away from living your own truth.
If you haven't been told 'You're weird.' a few times along the way, you aren't doing it right.
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