Echo Chamber: Chris Hipkins, you frickin' smart-arse sausage roll eater
Echo Chamber is The Spinoff's dispatch from the press gallery, recapping sessions in the House. Columns are written by politics reporter Lyric Waiwiri-Smith and Wellington editor Joel MacManus.
There was a certain grumpiness in the air on Tuesday – for the government MPs, at least. Maybe it's those wintertime blues or that mid-year slump that seeps in around this time, or maybe it's the news of inflation being at its highest point in the last 12 months (at 2.7%), a Talbot Mills poll that showed 51% of New Zealanders think the country is on the wrong track, or maybe it's that 'frickin' Chris Hipkins', up to his old tricks again.
After question time kicked off – following a statement from foreign affairs minister Winston Peters calling for a ceasefire in Gaza – the Labour leader and his counterpart in blue had their usual stand-off, and as per usual these days, it was over FamilyBoost. The childcare rebate scheme was recently expanded after figures showed only 241 of the expected 21,000 families had received the maximum refund amount, and the Labour Party has been all too happy to rub its enemy's nose in it.
When prime minister Christopher Luxon opted to answer Hipkins' question of how many families had received the full $250 a fortnight rebate with the number of families who had received any payment under the scheme, Hipkins was undeterred. He asked the question again, and Luxon let him know that the great news here is that those middle and lower-income New Zealanders the working man's party purports to care so much about are finally getting some support.
Then Winston Peters rose to his feet. 'Could the prime minister answer this question very slowly,' Peters began. As this is a sliding scale payment, are those entitled to the full amount on the scale getting their full benefit? Well, that's exactly the point I'm making, Luxon replied – 'everybody who is eligible and then applies for the rebate actually gets their full entitlement'.
'You're full of entitlement,' Labour MP Megan Woods offered.
And then it was onto the price of butter – another sticking point for the red team – with Hipkins asking the prime minister how many blocks of butter he could buy with the $60 he supposedly spends on groceries a week. 'Well, it's a smart-arse question, isn't it?' Luxon replied, bringing the Hansard arse count to 45. 'In opposition you oppose, but you also propose – there's no proposals from that side.'
In better news for the government, infrastructure minister Chris Bishop – with his usual gusto – lauded the government's recent announcement (or 'announcement of an announcement', if you ask Labour's Kieran McAnulty) that $6b worth of infrastructure projects will be under way by the end of the year, and 'there's some crackers on this list'. The barracking that had been rippling throughout the House all session turned to celebrations of success for the government benches: 'That's it! Hear hear!'
Again, Peters decided to rise for a supplementary and insert himself into the conversation. Bishop being a Wellington minister, he began, why wasn't our 'no nonsense' Cook Strait ferry programme mentioned – but a bout of taunting laughter from the other side of the House cut over him. 'Hah,' cried Hipkins – 'because Nicola Willis cancelled it!'
The finance minister leaned back in her seat and stared at the ceiling, and Peters finished his question. This ferry plan would save the taxpayers billions of dollars, he claimed, then looked to Hipkins and said 'in contrast, sausage roll eater' (side note: what does he mean by that, exactly?) 'to the profligate mess we inherited'. When the laughter died down, Bishop replied that there were just so many good infrastructure projects around the country, that he'd rather let the 'very good' minister for rail boast about his own 'good news'.
But later, when NZ First tried to celebrate its own successes – with patsies from MP Jenny Marcroft giving associate health minister Casey Costello a chance to let the House know the country was still on track to be smokefree 'soon', thanks to vaping helping 200,000 smokers off of one nicotine stick and onto another – the operation went bust. After Marcroft asked Costello what she knew about current smokers, the Labour Party burst into laughter, without looking at anyone in particular.
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The barracking over Costello was enough to have the government benches bite back, shaking their heads and condemning their opposition counterparts for finding smoking so funny. As Costello went through the figures of current smokers – that most of them are aged between 45 and 65, are Māori or Pasifika and still smoke on a daily basis – the voice of frickin' Hipkins popped up again.
'What about the ones you hire out the back?' he called. It briefly brought laughter and a smile to Peters' face.
'Labour government my backside,' Peters grumbled.
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