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The Spinoff
6 days ago
- Politics
- The Spinoff
Echo Chamber: These people are just speaking for the sake of it
Wednesday's question time was a perfect reminder of why people hate politicians. Echo Chamber is The Spinoff's dispatch from the press gallery, recapping sessions in the House. Columns are written by politics reporter Lyric Waiwiri-Smith and Wellington editor Joel MacManus. Sometimes, parliament's question time is an electric battlefield of raw politics. The cut and thrust. The arguments that frame elections, playing out in the moment, and the very centre of power in Aotearoa. Opposition MPs cross-examine ministers with probing questions, poking rhetorical holes in the government's agenda. Ministers parry back, holding the higher ground while they fend off their rivals with dismissive jokes and baying laughter. Other times it, well, isn't. It's a circus of dumb seals clapping for themselves without even the decency to balance a ball on their nose. Wednesday's question time was one of those. A pointless display of largely meaningless words by a group of elected officials who seem to be barely trying. Government MPs debased themselves with patsy questions, the opposition didn't do much better, and crotchety old Winston Peters did crotchety old Winston Peters things. Act MP Todd Stephenson, who famously cannot name a book, also seemed unable to understand his own party's policies, because he had to ask his leader, David Seymour, 'Will New Zealand benefit from the Ministry of Regulations, and if so, why?' Seymour, shockingly, answered that New Zealand would benefit from his new ministry. Stephenson continued along this track, asking gleefully naive questions to Seymour, who happily explained why he was the smartest boy in all the land. Seymour prattled on about the new regulations tip line, which was 'dramatically reducing the amount of annoyance New Zealanders experience'. (But specifically not helping me or anyone else listening to his speech). Labour MPs complained to speaker Gerry Brownlee, 'Make him stop, make him stop'. Peeni Henare tried to prompt Seymour to wrap it up by bellowing 'Haumi e, hui e, tāiki e.' Some nerd in the back (edit: Cameron Brewer, member for the proud electorate of Upper Harbour) wanted to know if finance minister Nicola Willis had seen any recent reports on the economy (incredibly, the answer was yes). He asked which exports were doing well. Willis gave 'a special shoutout to kiwifruit'. Speaking to The Spinoff after question time, a kiwifruit said they were happy and humbled to have their hard work recognised. Brewer followed up with, 'What is behind the increase in export value?' Willis informed the House that 'the value of New Zealand's exports is a function of two things', the first of which was 'export values'. The rest of the sentence would seem to be redundant, but apparently the other thing is 'the prices that exporters receive'. 'What does the future hold for New Zealand's exports?' Brewer asked. (Finally, an interesting question. Laser kiwifruit? Blockchain butter? Androids dreaming of electric sheep?) Willis boringly said that 'international factors are likely to affect global demand'. Wow. The future of exports? Catherine Wedd asked Chris Bishop for updates on the Fast-track Approvals Act, and Bishop reassured the house that 'things are going great'. Vanessa Weenink asked Erica Stanford what feedback she had received on her changes to school property funding. Stanford confirmed that the response to her policies was 'positive', and everyone thought she was cool and funny, and would have totally invited her to their birthday party but the invitation must have got lost in the mail. Usually, asking patsy questions is reserved for the lowliest government MPs, but on this occasion, even the finance minister decided to get in on the action. Willis asked Stanford to point to an example of how she saved money. Stanford happily confirmed that the government was providing classrooms for half the price compared to 2023. Chris Hipkins and Chris Luxon got into a silly argument about whether the cost of living is up or down. 'Why did he claim, one year ago tomorrow, that food prices have been falling under his government?' Hipkins asked. 'Because they are,' Luxon insisted. 'Under the previous government, food prices were up 12.5%; today, they're up 4.6%.' (Fact check: 'up' is the opposite of 'down'.) While the Chrises talked circles around each other, intentionally misunderstanding the difference between deflation and disinflation, the peanut gallery grew louder and louder, until Brownlee got fed up. 'There's an unacceptable level of barrage,' he said. 'People are just speaking for the sake of it.' It was unclear whether the latter part was a complaint or simply an accurate description of question time. Winston Peters did his performative dance where he pretends to be outraged that someone (in this case, Teanau Tuiono) asked a question referring to 'Aotearoa New Zealand'. He refused to answer because 'no such country exists'. Chris Hipkins produced a copy of the government's Budget at a Glance document, which had the phrase 'Te Kāwanatanga o Aotearoa' on the front cover. Brownlee noted that the New Zealand Geographic Board also recognises and uses the term 'Aotearoa New Zealand' and it would be 'utterly ridiculous' for the house not to allow it. But that won't stop Peters from continuing to try. One for the record While attempting to call a point of order for Kieran McAnulty, Brownlee butchered the Wairarapa-based list MP's name with a garble that sounded something like 'Kieran Mogloo' before correcting himself. McAnulty: It's all right, we all know who you mean, it's all good. Thank you, sir. Brownlee: Yeah, well, some people may not. You're not that well known. McAnulty: I am in Eketāhuna, sir, so that's all that matters. Brownlee: Well, I tell you what, it is the centre of the earth.
The Spinoff
7 days ago
- Politics
- The Spinoff
Echo Chamber: Chris Hipkins, you frickin' smart-arse sausage roll eater
The Labour leader has been getting up to his old tricks again (complaining about FamilyBoost and butter). Echo Chamber is The Spinoff's dispatch from the press gallery, recapping sessions in the House. Columns are written by politics reporter Lyric Waiwiri-Smith and Wellington editor Joel MacManus. There was a certain grumpiness in the air on Tuesday – for the government MPs, at least. Maybe it's those wintertime blues or that mid-year slump that seeps in around this time, or maybe it's the news of inflation being at its highest point in the last 12 months (at 2.7%), a Talbot Mills poll that showed 51% of New Zealanders think the country is on the wrong track, or maybe it's that 'frickin' Chris Hipkins', up to his old tricks again. After question time kicked off – following a statement from foreign affairs minister Winston Peters calling for a ceasefire in Gaza – the Labour leader and his counterpart in blue had their usual stand-off, and as per usual these days, it was over FamilyBoost. The childcare rebate scheme was recently expanded after figures showed only 241 of the expected 21,000 families had received the maximum refund amount, and the Labour Party has been all too happy to rub its enemy's nose in it. When prime minister Christopher Luxon opted to answer Hipkins' question of how many families had received the full $250 a fortnight rebate with the number of families who had received any payment under the scheme, Hipkins was undeterred. He asked the question again, and Luxon let him know that the great news here is that those middle and lower-income New Zealanders the working man's party purports to care so much about are finally getting some support. Then Winston Peters rose to his feet. 'Could the prime minister answer this question very slowly,' Peters began. As this is a sliding scale payment, are those entitled to the full amount on the scale getting their full benefit? Well, that's exactly the point I'm making, Luxon replied – 'everybody who is eligible and then applies for the rebate actually gets their full entitlement'. 'You're full of entitlement,' Labour MP Megan Woods offered. And then it was onto the price of butter – another sticking point for the red team – with Hipkins asking the prime minister how many blocks of butter he could buy with the $60 he supposedly spends on groceries a week. 'Well, it's a smart-arse question, isn't it?' Luxon replied, bringing the Hansard arse count to 45. 'In opposition you oppose, but you also propose – there's no proposals from that side.' In better news for the government, infrastructure minister Chris Bishop – with his usual gusto – lauded the government's recent announcement (or 'announcement of an announcement', if you ask Labour's Kieran McAnulty) that $6b worth of infrastructure projects will be under way by the end of the year, and 'there's some crackers on this list'. The barracking that had been rippling throughout the House all session turned to celebrations of success for the government benches: 'That's it! Hear hear!' Again, Peters decided to rise for a supplementary and insert himself into the conversation. Bishop being a Wellington minister, he began, why wasn't our 'no nonsense' Cook Strait ferry programme mentioned – but a bout of taunting laughter from the other side of the House cut over him. 'Hah,' cried Hipkins – 'because Nicola Willis cancelled it!' The finance minister leaned back in her seat and stared at the ceiling, and Peters finished his question. This ferry plan would save the taxpayers billions of dollars, he claimed, then looked to Hipkins and said 'in contrast, sausage roll eater' (side note: what does he mean by that, exactly?) 'to the profligate mess we inherited'. When the laughter died down, Bishop replied that there were just so many good infrastructure projects around the country, that he'd rather let the 'very good' minister for rail boast about his own 'good news'. But later, when NZ First tried to celebrate its own successes – with patsies from MP Jenny Marcroft giving associate health minister Casey Costello a chance to let the House know the country was still on track to be smokefree 'soon', thanks to vaping helping 200,000 smokers off of one nicotine stick and onto another – the operation went bust. After Marcroft asked Costello what she knew about current smokers, the Labour Party burst into laughter, without looking at anyone in particular. More Reading The barracking over Costello was enough to have the government benches bite back, shaking their heads and condemning their opposition counterparts for finding smoking so funny. As Costello went through the figures of current smokers – that most of them are aged between 45 and 65, are Māori or Pasifika and still smoke on a daily basis – the voice of frickin' Hipkins popped up again. 'What about the ones you hire out the back?' he called. It briefly brought laughter and a smile to Peters' face. 'Labour government my backside,' Peters grumbled.
The Spinoff
17-07-2025
- Politics
- The Spinoff
Echo Chamber: Aussie roolz, NZ droolz
Every party in parliament agrees Australia is richer, cooler, prettier, better dressed, and will probably steal your man. Echo Chamber is The Spinoff's dispatch from the press gallery, recapping sessions in the House. Columns are written by politics reporter Lyric Waiwiri-Smith and Wellington editor Joel MacManus. Did you know that the different parties in parliament have fundamental disagreements about economic policy? The New Zealand Labour Party thinks everything in this country is fucked because of the current government. The New Zealand National Party thinks everything in this country is fucked because of the previous government (the one run by the New Zealand Labour Party). New Zealand First, meanwhile, thinks everything in this country is fucked because of the word 'Aotearoa'. The Green Party of Aotearoa New Zealand think this country is fucked because of a long-standing guillotine shortage. Te Pāti Māori think the country is fucked because of an Atlas Network conspiracy to destroy indigenous rights. And the Act Party thinks the country is fucked because sometimes university professors say mean things about David Seymour. Of course, none of them are right. The country is fucked because RJ's stopped making Jaffas. After an extended winter break, the members of New Zealand's parliament have returned to Wellington to resume arguing with one another. One might have hoped that over the break, they might have figured out some new angles, but alas. It's all the same shit. During Wednesday's question time, Labour's Chris Hipkins and Barbara Edmonds were very keen to hammer the government over a new builder sentiment report, which showed the construction sector cratering with 15,000 job losses and masses of workers moving to Australia. They blamed the current government for cancelling a whole bunch of projects to build state homes, school upgrades, hospitals and public transport. National's Christopher Luxon and Nicola Willis responded with a formal 'nuh-uh it's your fault' and blamed the previous government for spending too much money on nonsense like state homes, school upgrades, hospitals and nonexistent light rail; thereby contributing to inflation, forcing the Reserve Bank to raise interest rates and creating a recession. Both major parties are essentially stuck in an ever-revolving hamster wheel of argument, where neither side is entirely wrong and neither side is entirely right. National swept to power on a wave of voter dissatisfaction with inflation and stagnating growth. Many people fairly blamed the Labour government's policies for contributing to that inflation. But while inflation has come down, economic conditions under the current government haven't turned around as quickly as many would have hoped. Nearly two years into the government, Labour hopes voters are forgetting about the last government, and National is determined to remind them. Finger-pointing is reaching record levels. Following on from the previous day's theme, Green leader Chlöe Swarbrick took aim at the government for the number of New Zealanders leaving the country – 191 people per day, according to analysis from Bernard Hickey. She quoted one young worker who described New Zealand with the phrase 'No work. Shit pay. Why stay?' That earned her a telling-off from speaker Gerry Brownlee, who is clearly feeling a bit sensitive about swears after Brooke van Velden dropped the c-bomb back in May. Using emigration rates as evidence of a government's failings is an old tactic. John Key used it with particular effectiveness as opposition leader, famously using Wellington Stadium in his 2008 election campaign to emphasise the number of people leaving for Australia annually. There was no attempt to defend this point from the government benches. Their response was, basically, 'yeah, obviously people are leaving, it sucks here, but it's the last government's fault'. 'Australia, for example, is a wealthier country than New Zealand and can pay higher wages,' said Nicola Willis. Everyone in parliament agrees Australia is richer, cooler, prettier, better dressed, and will probably steal your man. They're just arguing about who to blame. Luxon said the emigration numbers proved the Green Party should support fossil fuel industries. 'Where do Kiwis go when they go to Australia? They go to work in oil and gas and mining,' he said. (Are there a lot of mines on the Gold Coast?) Winston Peters, too, kept with the theme of repeating the same old hits. When Green MP Benjamin Doyle asked questions to health minister Casey Castello about the government falling behind on its goal of eliminating locally transmitted HIV in Aotearoa, Peter was very angry about that last word. 'Point of order, Mr Speaker. How did this question get approved by you or your staff when in the last few words, he mentioned a country that is not known in this world, nor was it recognised by the United Nations?' he said. Brownlee made Doyle repeat the question – they simply changed it to 'Aotearoa New Zealand'. This is an ongoing game between the Greens and New Zealand First, which has no foreseeable end. The more Peters complains about the word 'Aotearoa', the more the Greens will keep saying it. Around and around we go, spiralling continually inwards, getting nowhere. One for the record Parliament often welcomes delegations of visiting international politicians to sit in the public gallery and observe question time. The speaker traditionally kicks things off by welcoming the manuhiri, and the MPs stand to applaud them in acknowledgement. On Wednesday, a small group from France was in attendance. During his questions, Te Pāti Māori co-leader Rawiri Waititi focused on concerns raised by the UN special rapporteur on the rights of indigenous peoples, Albert K Barume, about the Regulatory Standards Bill. But it became clear that Waititi didn't know how to pronounce 'rapporteur'.
The Spinoff
16-07-2025
- Business
- The Spinoff
Echo Chamber: Shane Jones, greatest ever Australian politician?
Nearly 30,000 New Zealanders crossed the ditch last year. Could the minister for resources be next? Echo Chamber is The Spinoff's dispatch from the press gallery, recapping sessions in the House. Columns are written by politics reporter Lyric Waiwiri-Smith and Wellington editor Joel MacManus. The last time the 54th parliament of New Zealand was gathered in the House for question time was about two weeks ago. Back then, the price of butter was the main thing on the minds of the Labour Party caucus, who appeared to see the rising cost of dairy products as a sign of the end times. On Tuesday, the new objective was to put the spotlight on the nearly 30,000 New Zealanders who left the country for Australia in 2024. So long as there remains plenty of problems to pin to the government, Labour won't have to make the effort to dream up any of its own policies. There have been two significant changes in the House since then as well. The death of Takutai Tarsh Kemp leaves an open seat for either Labour to bring in the next candidate on its list or for former broadcaster Oriini Kaipara to make her parliamentary debut for Te Pāti Māori, depending on who wins the Tāmaki Makaurau byelection on September 6. And, following the sudden departure of NZ First MP Tanya Unkovich, the House welcomed a new politician into its fold: David Williams. There was heckling from the opposition benches right off the bat when Labour leader Chris Hipkins rose to ask prime minister Christopher Luxon whether he stood by the government's actions, which he took as an opportunity to laud vocational education minister Penny Simmonds' recent Te Pūkenga restructure announcement, but the jeers drowned him out. When Hipkins came back with 'how many Kiwis have left New Zealand since he became prime minister?', a group of high school students sitting in the public gallery gasped 'ooouusshh!' Resources minister Shane Jones, answering a question from NZ First MP Andy Foster about economic growth in his sector, announced – 'with characteristic modesty' – that he had recently travelled to Singapore and Sydney, and amazed his peers by waxing lyrical about overturning the 'foolish' ban on oil and gas exploration and giving a 'glowing account' of the fast-track laws, the 'most permissive regime in Australasia'. The Greens co-leader Chlöe Swarbrick raised her eyebrows. Jones' characteristic modesty shone through again. 'I have endeavoured to assure investors in the resources sector that we have decriminalised the coal industry,' the minister declared. 'I had the privilege of addressing a host of mining investors [and] professionals in Sydney … They regard the quality of leadership I have shown on behalf of the government of such stature that they invited me to be a politician in Canberra.' 'Take it up!' Labour's Duncan Webb jeered. It's good to know that despite burgeoning opportunities overseas, our best talent stays at home. It wasn't over there. NZ First leader and foreign affairs minister – as he liked to remind his coalition partners before he entered the House on Tuesday – Winston Peters decided to rise and ask the minister if he was saying he'd stop 'virtue signalling' by using local coal rather than 'inferior' offshore coal? It gave Brownlee a moment to consider the importance of phrasing – well, he said, that question is sort of interesting, 'because it's hardly factual as soon as you say 'virtue signalling', but anyway'. When health minister Simeon Brown took patsies from fellow National Party MP Carlos Cheung, it gave deputy prime minister David Seymour a chance to show off his wealth of knowledge on political theory by quoting China's former paramount leader Deng Xiaoping: 'Does the minister subscribe to the philosophy … that it doesn't matter if the cat is black or white, so long as it catches the mice?' Brown grinned and rose to his feet, but Brownlee wouldn't let him answer – it would only be a reasonable question, the speaker said, if the minister was some kind of expert in rodent control. The Act Party leader sought leave for his question to be answered, but was shut down again. 'Well, the House is the master of its own destiny,' Seymour said, sagely. Then Swarbrick's voice popped up: 'Get a grip!' Back on the brain drain, Labour's jobs and income spokesperson Ginny Andersen wanted to know whether finance minister Nicola Willis thought the government was doing enough to 'deliver jobs' despite the tens of thousands headed across the Tasman. Andersen quoted Luxon and Seymour's sentiments that Aotearoa is where the opportunities are and having people leave is 'bad', to which Seymour took offence. Who would want a deputy prime minister who thinks New Zealanders leaving the country is a good thing, Seymour asked, then suggested that such a thing might be possible if the New Zealander doing the leaving was Ginny Andersen. His comment had Brownlee reminding the House, yet again, that question time is not an opportunity to attack the opposition. Up in the backbenches, Labour MP Shanan Halbert made his read of Seymour's comments clear: 'Misogynist!' Maybe Seymour could've tried it a different way: it doesn't matter if the cat is in New Zealand or Australia, as long as it still agrees the government is doing a good job.
The Spinoff
03-07-2025
- Politics
- The Spinoff
Echo Chamber: Youth parliament is even better than the real thing
A cohort of kids willing to challenge democracy prove they're more than ready to replace the adults. Echo Chamber is The Spinoff's dispatch from the press gallery, recapping sessions in the House. Columns are written by politics reporter Lyric Waiwiri-Smith and Wellington editor Joel MacManus. A walkout in the House, claims of censorship and rogue MPs on rogue press conferences: youth parliament didn't need long to prove it can be as much of a circus as the one meant for adults. Tri-annually, pint-sized progressives and tories in the making (as well as their young peers in the fourth estate) spend three days in parliament (following a four-month training programme) to learn up close what democracy is – although if you asked this year's cohort of teens, they might be more likely to tell you what it isn't. General debates held on Tuesday and Wednesday gave all 123 youth MPs a chance to highlight the issues that matter most to them, whether that's mental health and the environment, or boy racers and 'backing the farmers' – some of these teens are already so entrenched across party lines you might expect some kind-of Scooby-Doo mask-off to reveal it was Grant McCallum all along. Youth MPs are supposedly non-partisan and aren't expected to parrot the belief of the parties they've been mentored under, but when in Rome, act like the emperor. There were claims of censorship and 'fear-based control' from some youth MPs (who are also part of the advocacy group Make It 16), but in the end, everyone got their say – even if some teens felt others should have had more vetting in the end. As was the case for Jermaine Del Mondo, youth MP for Winston Peters, whose challenge in the House to look past race – much like his mentor might say – caused a partial walkout (although no one could really leave, you see). The drama continued on Wednesday morning, with Karen Chhour's youth MP Jerry Wei having his three-minute speech last for 10 thanks to the opposition MPs raising multiple points of order in an attempt to shut him up. There was supposedly a walkout planned for him, but the progressive youth MPs felt it would just give him the satisfaction – clearly the youth parliament works, because it didn't take them long to learn the fine art of politicking. Suffice to say, some potential future leaders have already made themselves heard. Nate Wilbourne, youth MP for Labour's Damien O'Connor, had one of the strongest speeches on Wednesday morning after going off-script and directly calling out ministers Penny Simmonds, Tama Potaka and Shane Jones for putting 'profit over papatūānuku'. Later, Terangitukiwaho Edwards, youth MP for Te Pāti Māori Mariameno Kapa-Kingi and son of Ngātiwai chairman Aperahama Edwards, earned a standing ovation for his impassioned speech on prioritising mokopuna-led solutions in state care. The mock question time kicked off just before midday, with National MP Barbara Kuriger as the speaker, and only a handful of ministers – James Meager, Penny Simmonds, Louise Upston, Casey Costello and Chris Bishop – taking oral questions. This activity seemed to provide two learning points: for the government youth MPs, how to pass off patsies to your colleagues to ensure good PR, and for the opposition youth MPs, how to argue back. When Vashika Singh, youth MP for Helen White, asked RMA minister Bishop how he planned to incorporate the Treaty into the Planning Act and Natural Environment Act, she was told straight up by the minister that he had no commitment to doing that. Bishop wasn't a popular man that session – his answer to a question on housing targets from Esha Ram (youth MP for the Greens' Steve Abel) caused a few youths to rustle in their seats and attempt supplementaries, which the speaker denied. Sam Allen (youth MP for National's Hamish Campbell) then offered to 'guide' Kuriger through the speaker's rulings, which she ignored for time purposes. 'We are not having supplementary questions, and that's the last point of order I'm going to take on that issue,' Kuriger declared, before the voice of Thomas Brocherie, youth MP for the Greens Lan Pham, popped up for the hundredth time: 'Point of order, Miss Speaker …' Bishop was next questioned by Louis McSporran, youth MP for NZ First's Jenny Marcroft, on how he would 'incentivise and support' the revitalisation of rural areas through infrastructure, and a rebel youth MP in the Labour benches held up a note to the House in protest. 'DISSAPOINTED IN NAT' it read, causing Wei to raise a point of order: would the speaker consider removing the member from the House? Later, outside the chamber, a group of NZ First Youth MPs – and friends from other branches of the coalition – held a last-minute press conference on the parliament steps. They weren't happy with the narrative playing out in the media about censorship – we're not being censored, nor would we like the right to vote, they told reporters. It was 'dangerous' to let a minority group (as in, the youth MPs from Make It 16) purport to speak for the nation, an Act Party youth MP claimed. Their attempt at winning back the narrative was immediately stifled, as the press conference spurred an off-the-cuff argument from the Labour and Greens-aligned youth MPs walking past. It was probably the debate the teens would have liked to have had in the House – with each other, in verbal fisticuffs, and no expectation to be non-partisan. Parliament is a place that often feels like a high school simulator – and for three days this week, it was the real thing. Even if half of these teens still think they shouldn't have the right to vote until they're a bit older, they're already perfect for the role of politician.
