Move over samosa, jalebi; India's everyday bites have become daily poison
Then there's the 'sizzler sandwich' (why is it sizzling?) or the 'cheesy Maggi bowl' (why is it cheesy?). They sound like Gen Z Instagram handles but taste like digestive doom. Even our humble snacks are now performance pieces in culinary theatre.THE STEAMED DECEIVERS, MOMOSSteamed, yes. Healthy, no. These little dumplings, once a quick bite from Tibetan stalls, are now drenched in oil, fried for good measure, and sometimes come stuffed with suspiciously orange paneer. If food could have a midlife crisis, this is it.Also, if your momos glow under UV light, maybe don't eat them.THE SPLASH ZONE OF BACTERIA? GOLGAPPA...We get it. The joy of watching that poor bhaiya fill six crisp shells with flavoured water from a steel cauldron that may or may not have been cleaned since the IPL season began is unmatched. But here's a fun fact: the 'pani' in 'pani puri' has more mystery ingredients than a Karan Johar script.And yes, you tell yourself the spice will kill the germs. It won't. The germs are just seasoning themselves for a better flavour profile.THE CAFFEINED TROJAN HORSE, COLD COFFEECold coffee used to be simple coffee, ice, milk. Now it's an elaborate dessert in a glass, layered like a tiramisu and sugary enough to make your pancreas weep. You walk into a cafe for a 'quick pick-me-up' and walk out with 600 ml of regret, topped with a wafer stick.SNACKXIETY IS REALWe don't want to calorie-count like obsessive dieters. We just want to snack without needing an antacid, a guilt trip, or a three-day break from food. But now everything comes with an asterisk. Even popcorn isn't safe, it went from a humble movie-time munch to 'butter popcorn with caramel drizzle and chocolate sprinkles.' That's not a snack. That's a bake sale in a bucket.advertisementThis isn't a call to abandon your favourite chaat-wala or boycott your beloved momos. This is just a love letter from your stomach, saying: 'Hey, maybe alternate the golgappas with something that doesn't come with a salmonella side salad?'Eat the snack. Just know what you're eating. Or at least carry an antacid like it's your emotional support animal.After all, in the great Indian snackscape, it's not about cutting out the fun. Just maybe don't turn every tea break into a cardiovascular cliffhanger.- Ends
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