Marriage for persons with disabilities: A choice, not a financial incentive

Time of India

5 hours ago

If somebody writes an epitaph to Sangita, it should be headlined 'Happy Soul'. Nothing fazes her. No challenge is too big. A fan of James Bond's 'never say die' spirit, just like him she thrives on adrenalin rush as she fields every curveball life throws her way. Sangita is a person with multiple disabilities. A patient of Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA), Sangita is a wheelchair user and hearing aids user. For the past 10 years, she has been whizzing past life in a wheelchair, notching professional milestones. She believes nothing is insurmountable, certainly not limitations imposed by disabilities. Sangita has three decades of experience in the media, content and communications industry across verticals and industries. She has been associated with the development and disability sector and featured in the first Directory of Development Journalists in India published by the PII. She has also functioned as a media representative of the Rehabilitation Council of India and has conducted various S&A programmes for bureaucrats. Sangita is the founder of Ashtavakra Accessibility Solutions Private Limited, a social enterprise dedicated to the inclusion of the disabled. LESS ... MORE
Before saying 'Yes,' I had one clear condition: the decision had to be free from pity or mere romantic idealism. Love alone wasn't enough—it had to be grounded in the profound understanding of my progressive condition and everything it could mean. Twenty-two years later, I'm grateful I held firm.
Today, my marriage is rock-solid because it's built on true companionship, unwavering support, and deep mutual understanding—not monetary incentives or societal pressures.
However, that is not the story for the majority of people with disabilities. In India, where marriage is often seen as a societal milestone, persons with disabilities (PwDs) face unique challenges in finding partners due to pervasive ableism and societal stigma. To address this, several state governments have introduced marriage incentive schemes aimed at encouraging the union of PwDs.
I find this deeply concerning. Currently, 19 Indian states offer such incentives, and charitable organisations regularly conduct mass marriages providing one-time financial support. Although well-intentioned, these practices risk commodifying marriage, mirroring dowry systems, and fostering relationships that may falter once incentives run out.
While these schemes may seem beneficial on the surface, a deeper examination reveals complexities that question their efficacy and ethical implications.
The landscape of marriage incentive schemes
Firstly, there is no conformity in the various marriage incentive schemes. For instance, Kerala provides a one-time assistance of Rs 30,000 to disabled women or daughters of disabled parents, while Haryana offers Rs 51,000 if both spouses are disabled. These schemes differ not only in monetary value but also in eligibility criteria, reflecting a lack of uniformity and clear objectives.
Further, these incentives inadvertently mirror the dowry system by attaching monetary value to the marriage of PwDs. Critics argue that this commodification can perpetuate harmful stereotypes, suggesting that financial compensation is necessary to make a PwD 'marriageable.'
Another strong criticism centres on the disability model these schemes are based on. Clearly, marriage incentive schemes fall within the charity model of disability, which views PwDs as dependents requiring aid, rather than as individuals with rights and autonomy. This perspective undermines the principles of the Rights of Persons with Disabilities Act, 2016, which emphasises equality and non-discrimination.
Marriage in the absence of enabling infrastructure that promotes quality education, employment, independence of PwDs, is at best compounding the very challenges that they struggle with—especially when both partners are persons with disabilities. They will continue to face the same systemic barriers that hinder their social inclusion. Hence, without tackling these root causes, financial incentives do little to address the issues and offer only a superficial and temporary solution.
Diverse perspectives within the community
Even within the disability community, the opinions are diametrically opposite. Some individuals, particularly in rural areas, view the incentives as supportive measures that acknowledge their desire for companionship and family life, as highlighted in a recent article by a disability rights advocate (https://tinyurl.com/2zrnt9mv). However, urban disability activists often critique these schemes for perpetuating dependency and failing to promote genuine empowerment.
In my view, while it is important to acknowledge the desire for companionship and family life, a marriage based on financial incentive runs the risk of denying both unless backed by individual understanding of what a union between/with PwDs entails.
Marriages involving disability—particularly between disabled and non-disabled partners—require enduring empathy, patience, and commitment. Disabled women, in particular, often face heightened vulnerability in marriage, needing genuine, ongoing emotional and physical support from partners and families. This vulnerability is further amplified by patriarchal expectations that often place unrealistic burdens on disabled women while denying them autonomy and respect.
The problem with mass marriages
Mass marriages organised by charitable organisations raise additional concerns. These events may appear supportive on the surface, but they often bypass critical aspects such as informed consent, compatibility, and long-term agency. When conducted at scale with financial incentives, they risk reducing the institution of marriage to a symbolic gesture rather than a meaningful, informed choice. The optics of charity further dilute the focus on autonomy and dignity.
Towards empowerment and autonomy
True empowerment demands systemic change, better infrastructure, accessible education and employment, and comprehensive pre-marital counselling to ensure informed choices. Instead of adopting the charity model towards marriage of PwDs, the governments must focus on bringing about the much-needed 360-degree pivot in their approach towards PwDs.
Firstly, invest in accessible infrastructure and services to enable independent living, rather than making charitable doles under various incentives.
Secondly, promote education and employment that could create opportunities for PwDs, leading to financial independence and self-sufficiency.
Thirdly, implement nationwide awareness campaigns to combat stigma and promote inclusivity. We need to challenge societal attitudes, not endorse them by showing PwDs as needy and a charity case, even in the marriage market.
Fourthly, provide comprehensive support to marriageable PwDs through counselling, legal aid, and healthcare services that respect the autonomy and dignity of PwDs.
Respect PwDs' autonomy & choice
Whether marriages are made in heaven or not, for their survival and success on earth—especially given the rollercoaster of life that people with disabilities perforce have—they must be grounded in something far more tangible: companionship, mutual understanding, and a lifelong commitment that transcends financial transactions. While marriage incentive schemes for PwDs may be well-intentioned, they risk reinforcing problematic narratives and failing to address the deeper issues of inequality and exclusion. Empowerment should not come in the form of financial inducements for marriage but through systemic changes that uphold the rights, choices, and dignity of persons with disabilities. Marriage, like any personal decision, should be a matter of choice, free from coercion or financial persuasion.
For PwDs too, marriage must remain a deeply personal, informed decision—never reduced to financial incentives or societal expectations.
Based on secondary research
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Views expressed above are the author's own.