An Australian Wedding So Nice They Celebrated It … Three Times

New York Times

07-03-2025

Philip Kanis still remembers the techno warehouse party he hosted in Sydney, Australia, in 2013, when he was assessing the room from the top of a staircase and Mishti Rahman walked in with a mutual friend.
'She stood out a lot in the sea of black T-shirts and black jeans,' he recalled. She was wearing an army jacket off the shoulder, baggy ripped jeans and heeled boots.
The two locked eyes and eventually had a brief conversation. At the time, Mr. Kanis was part of a collective that organized underground parties in Sydney.
For the next three months, they exchanged eye contact at these parties and had the occasional conversation. Until one day they became Facebook friends.
There, the two made plans for a coffee date, but the day they were supposed to meet, Ms. Rahman canceled. She was feeling wary of Mr. Kanis — and, frankly, D.J.s in general. 'He probably talks to so many girls,' she recalled thinking.
Mr. Kanis said he didn't blame her for her caution, though he felt such stereotypes did not apply to him. At the time, he'd been trying to figure out what type of career he wanted, and quickly realized throwing parties was not it. 'I cut the cord and deleted Facebook and quit the industry and vanished from that scene very quickly,' he said.
The two lost touch. Both said they were focused on themselves and their careers and weren't dating much. Mr. Kanis started working in finance at an investment bank, and Ms. Rahman moved from Sydney to Los Angeles to pursue a career in acting, eventually becoming a content creator focused on fashion and beauty.
'Thank God we never met for that coffee date,' Ms. Rahman said. 'It wasn't the right time.'
Seven years later, in November 2020, she moved back to Sydney. And one day, while running errands, she bumped into him while he was walking his dog.
'I just remember seeing her walk across the street, and it was exactly like I remember her seven years before,' he said. 'Cute and adorable and stylish.'
It turned out that Mr. Kanis lived just a few minutes away, and he had also recently moved into the same neighborhood.
'I think we were both really excited that we met someone that's so long ago in our past,' she said — someone from before their career transitions. So much had happened in that time. They exchanged details and made plans to have dinner a few days later at Da Mario, an Italian restaurant.
From then on, the convenience of living just a few blocks away from each other led them to partake in the quotidian activities together: going to the gym, walking his dog, grabbing ice cream after he finished playing basketball. And as Ms. Rahman started delving deeper into her interests in fashion, Mr. Kanis became her plus one to brand events.
Their relationship was largely platonic, though, until January 2021, during a screening of 'Lost in Translation' at the Golden Age Cinema and Bar, an intimate theater in Sydney. Both movie buffs, Mr. Kanis asked her if she had ever seen the film. He considers it his favorite movie, so when she said no, he made a plan.
'It was like a test,' Mr. Kanis said. 'I thought, if she likes this film, this is a good sign. And she absolutely loved it.'
He watched her face light up during the film, and he squeezed her hand at one point as he realized the woman he had bumped into seven years after spotting her at a warehouse party might be the one for him.
They went to a local Japanese bar afterward — appropriate given the movie takes place in Tokyo — and bonded over Sofia Coppola's cinematography and dreamlike visuals.
'It felt different,' Ms. Rahman said. That night, Mr. Kanis opened the car door for her and 'was being extra romantic,' she said. Not long after, they became a couple.
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In July 2023, 'Lost in Translation' became the basis of his proposal. During a trip to Tokyo, Mr. Kanis proposed at Park Hyatt Tokyo during sunset. Then, to celebrate, they enjoyed a sweeping view of the city at New York Bar, where parts of 'Lost in Translation' was filmed. A band played jazz music and dedicated a song to the couple: 'Unforgettable' by Nat King Cole.
Mr. Kanis, 38, is a senior product manager at Amazon. He graduated from the University of Sydney with a bachelor's degree in physiology and a master's degree in finance.
Ms. Rahman, 32, graduated from the University of Technology Sydney with a bachelor's degree in commerce. Both grew up in Sydney.
On Jan. 15, the two were married during a civil ceremony at the Pyrmont Wedding Registry in Sydney by Jasmine Diaz. They had burgers at Five Guys afterward.
The couple celebrated their wedding with three separate events: one to honor Mr. Kanis's Greek heritage, one for Ms. Rahman's Bangladeshi roots and another that consisted largely of their friends.
'We both really wanted to do right by each other with our cultures,' Ms. Rahman said. His family wanted a Greek ceremony, hers wanted a traditional Muslim ceremony, and the couple had their own vision as well. 'And then we were like, let's not cram all of it into one day,' she added. 'Let's split it up and everyone's happy and we're happy.'
The first was a Greek garden celebration on Dec. 15 at the Milton Park Country House Hotel and Spa in New South Wales with about 50 guests. During the event, for which Mr. Kanis's family had flown in from northern Greece, the couple participated in a Greek tradition in which they wore crowns of pearls called stefana that were connected by a silk ribbon to symbolize their union.
On Jan. 5, they hosted an Italian-inspired ceremony at the same venue for about 50 friends and close family members, during which they read their vows and held a 'Renaissance dinner party' with dozens of long-stem candles.
And on Jan. 6, they had a nikah, a Muslim ceremony, also at Milton Park. For this event, Ms. Rahman wore her maternal grandmother's cream silk Banarasi sari paired with an ornate gold necklace from Bangladesh. Mr. Kanis wore a silk sherwani that her family had purchased for him in Dhaka.
'I used to be such an independent solo person, which I still am,' Ms. Rahman said as she reflected on her relationship with Mr. Kanis. 'But I think now I just really appreciate my beautiful relationship with Phil. Life is just so much better doing it with your best friend.'
When Jan. 15, 2025
Where Pyrmont Wedding Registry, Sydney, Australia
Mishti Ms. Rahman's name, Mishti, translates to 'sweet' in Bengali, so it's fitting that she is a big dessert fan. Each celebration featured desserts from her favorite local dessert spot, Sugar House. At their Italian-inspired ceremony, they had pistachio Dutch pancakes. (Pistachio is her favorite flavor.) And during the nikah, they also served Bangladeshi sweets from Shapla Sweets.
Five Dresses Throughout the intimate events, Ms. Rahman donned five dresses by designers she admires. At the civil ceremony, she wore a midi dress from a boutique in Bangkok called Poem. At the Greek garden ceremony, she wore a ball gown-style mikado silk white dress by an Australian designer, Karen Willis Holmes.
At the Italian-inspired ceremony, she wore a Paolo Sebastian French lace dress, which she called the dress of her dreams, paired with a long veil that covered her entirely. This dress, which has no paneling and was molded to her body type, felt true to her style, she said.
Then she changed into a Hollywood-style dress by Michael Lo Sordo. Lastly, her grandmother's sari, which she wore at the nikah, felt like a family heirloom — 'something borrowed.'
Party Favors Guests took home cotton candy and match boxes with a drawing of the couple printed on them. The bride said she hoped the match boxes would 'spark sweet memories of the night.'