
‘Coupledom is very oppressing': Swedish author Gun-Britt Sundström on the revival of her cult anti-marriage novel
Engagement is not, after all, a traditional love story, but a study of a young woman's fierce resistance to what she feels is the oppressive effect of being loved by a man. Martina and Gustav meet at college. Gustav wants their relationship to progress along traditional lines, an ambition that, Martina feels, risks leading her like a sleepwalker into a tedious, conventional life. At the casual level the pair's relationship is loving and stable, but, observes Martina caustically, 'Gustav is building so many structures on top of it that it's shaking underneath them'. She wants to be loved but she also wants to be alone. She wants Gustav to stop repeating himself. When he asks her what's wrong, she muses, 'you can't answer something like that. You can't tell someone who wants to be with you always that he should be reasonable and ration himself out a little – if I saw you half as often, I would like you four times as much – no, you can't say that.'
The novel is often described as a 'feminist classic', which Sundström resists – the implication being that any political objective undermines its integrity as a novel. 'Feminist books ordinarily end with a happy divorce. And this doesn't.' Instead, Engagement is a dense, thoughtful book that takes on questions of sex, boredom, self-esteem and what Sundström calls, 'the moral issue; the question of can you treat another person this way, the way Martina [treats Gustav]? At the end, she herself comes to the conclusion that you can't, it isn't right. She can't go on exploiting him, because he's helplessly in love with her.' The book is less about the experience of loving someone than about being the object of love, and given current discussions around young women 'decentring men' and 'heteropessimism', it is a startlingly modern novel.
It is also a dark comedy, something Sundström says tends to be overlooked. 'It is a funny book! I often regretted that reviewers failed to mention that aspect.' How could it not be? Sundström herself is full of merriment. She turns 80 this summer and says, 'I can't believe it myself. Most of my friends are more or less the same age, and none of us can believe it. We are the young ones, aren't we?' With her pageboy hairstyle and unlined face, she could be comfortably 20 years younger. ('Genes,' she says, flatly.) At the beginning of our conversation, Sundström mentions she is going through old diaries wondering what to keep and what to burn. 'I'm cleaning up with the perspective of soon dying,' she says, matter of factly, and although the gentle art of Swedish death cleaning is a well-known phenomenon, it strikes me that even for a Swede, Sundström is thrillingly, inspiringly brisk.
Like her protagonist, she is also immune from groupthink to the point of awkwardness. In the novel, Martina wonders: 'How can it be that most people lack self-confidence? And how can it be that I have enough self-confidence for an entire army? Of course I am beautiful and intelligent, at least intelligent enough to consider myself pretty enough – but that doesn't usually help, does it?' It is still mildly confronting to read a young woman calmly assessing herself in this way, and Martina's confidence is Sundström's, the development of which goes all the way back to two key influences in her childhood. She was a great reader and identified most with swashbuckling heroes – the Scarlet Pimpernel and the Three Musketeers. And, along with her family, she attended a progressive Swedish church. 'I grew up imagining that, to God, we are all equal and that my relationship to God, if I had one, was just as important as any man's.'
Sundström's political development as a feminist, meanwhile, was influenced by the cautionary tale of her mother's life. Sundström's father was a journalist, while her mother gave up work to raise Sundström and her sister in what, looking back, the novelist calls 'a kind of tragedy'. Although she was never bitter, Sundström recognises that she was, 'in a way, disappointed'.
The hardship of her mother's generation makes Sundström sceptical of some aspects of the modern feminist movement, which she thinks has failed to acknowledge just how much has been gained. 'We've had a backlash. Unfortunately, we were freer in my generation than in my children's. My daughter told me she's envious of my youth in that respect. They are much more concerned about their looks than we had to be back then. So many young people don't have self-confidence nowadays.'
Sundström started writing as a child, in journals and diaries, and at some point in late adolescence started to feel that it was inevitable she would write a book. In 1966, she published Student-64, a novel of rebellious youth, and 10 years later came Engagement, her third novel and a huge and instant hit. Since then, she has written 14 further books, six of them for children, and in a tone of dismay wonders if becoming a novelist was perhaps a mistake. She is also a translator and found working alongside Kathy Saranpa, the English translator for the new edition of Engagement, an interesting exercise in learning to let go. (After the interview, Sundström emails to correct several English words she used and for which she has thought of more precise translations.)
'I'm very good at Swedish language, and I regret a bit that I didn't devote my life to linguistics instead of literature,' she says. 'It's awful to say, but I don't think literature is all that interesting. There are more interesting things in life. Language; etymologies; the developing of different languages.' In Swedish, the novel is called Maken (The Husband) and she wonders if 'Mate' would've been a better title in English. 'I learned that 'mate' was originally written with a 'k'. So it is 'make', originally.' There is a puzzled silence. 'But that doesn't help.' Or, she wonders, ''Uncoupling': I think that would've been pretty adequate. Both as a criticism of the idea of coupledom, and also the problems of divorcing.'
Sundström herself has been divorced for 30 years and for the past few decades has had a romantic partner with whom she doesn't live. 'To me,' she says, 'it's the ideal; to be a couple, and to see each other when we wish, and still have our own lives. And not least because each of us has children with different parents. I never wanted to be a stepmother, and I didn't want him to be a stepfather to my children because they had their own father.' Although, she adds, 'I'm very thankful for the years I was in a family in the traditional way.' She recalls driving with her husband at the wheel and two children in the back thinking how lucky she was. 'An ideal! And it's me!'
This is a classic example of Sundström's resistance to any one hard and fast position. She gravitates naturally away from political orthodoxy and believes – the translator's curse, perhaps – there is always more than one way to see things. 'By nature, I'm allergic to everything that is the truth of the day,' she says. 'You know, everybody writes the same things in the papers. For example, the #MeToo movement; it wasn't possible to make any objections in that discussion. I would never have said anything publicly then, but I didn't feel quite happy about it; these demonstrations against the Swedish Academy [which awards the Nobel prize in literature], organised as a kind of feminist action. I felt very strange [about] all that; it seemed simplifying. All conflicts can't be seen in that context.'
These are the ambiguities Sundström tackles so well in her fiction, where she can allow all the nuances absent in the headlines to play out. She created Engagement's Martina as neither heroine nor cautionary tale, which is why she continues to be surprised at the fervour with which some young women take her up as a role model. A few years ago, she says, 'I met a young girl who showed me her copy of Maken, and it was full of Post-its. And she said, 'When I'm in trouble, or unsure of something, I think: what would Martina say?'' Sundström looks astonished. 'I don't know if I am supposed to be happy about that. Not for a moment was it my intention to propagate anything at all.'
Instead, she conceived of the book while going through a period of being single, wondering about the long-term prospects of any relationship, and thinking that, as the culture war around marriage and divorce in the 1970s took hold, it might be good grist for a novel. 'In 1976 the Swedish king got married, and all of us radicals, of course, were republicans – I have been a member of the republican association for as long as I can remember. And although [regard for the monarchy] wasn't as mad as it is in Britain, I really was depressed about people engaging with that bloody wedding. And me walking around feeling single.' She laughs. 'This idea of coupledom is even more oppressing to young people today than it was in my day. That means it is very oppressing.'
We return to the subject of death. Sundström's parents were unhistrionic about it too, she says. 'My mother was a widow for five years, and when she was in hospital, I asked her: 'Are you afraid of dying?' And she seemed surprised at the question. 'No! Why should I be?'' They didn't talk about her being reunited with Sundström's father, which is something, she notes disapprovingly, that people extend to their cats and dogs these days. 'Imagine... what a crowd.' As it was, her parents, 'were both so very calm, because they had lived in the conviction that this world isn't the only one'.
This is not what Sundström believes. And yet, thanks to those admirable, religious people in her background, she sees the world much as they did, in terms of social engagement. If she was young now, she says, 'I'd be a Greta Thunberg'. For Sundström, to look at the world and see potential for something better puts the novelist and the activist in a single category: those with the ability 'to imagine something else than this world'.
Engagement by Gun-Britt Sundström, translated by Kathy Saranpa, is published by Penguin Modern Classics (£18.99). To support the Guardian, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.
Hashtags

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles


The Sun
9 minutes ago
- The Sun
Iconic DJ, 58, with smash hit UK no 1 reveals anti-ageing secrets as his youthful looks leave fans baffled
ROGER SANCHEZ is in the best shape of his life and, ahead of his next mega- show at Pacha in Ibiza on Sunday night, the superstar DJ told me he trains like an athlete. In an exclusive chat ahead of the concert, Roger says: 'I've been thinking about the hyperbaric chambers that footballers go in and I'm going to start getting more into cold water plunges. But I train. I go to the gym. I do take care of myself. I do biohacking too. 8 8 'I will have biohacked it to the point where I can jump up and down on stage for years to come. 'I'm trying to avoid wheelchairs at all costs.' His youthful looks belie his true age, with Roger just two years off celebrating his 60th birthday. And he admits fans are baffled by how he still looks so young, laughing: 'People always ask, 'Who's your plastic surgeon?' I'm like, 'God, I've never had any work done.' My wife keeps me on my toes. She is my inspiration.' Roger's other half, Kristen Knight, is a fellow DJ, and the pair split their time between the US and Ibiza — where Roger is a Pacha club stalwart. He says: 'We try to push each other forward with our music. 'Working together comes naturally, and we DJ together a lot. 'Turntable hog' 'We're both very technical DJs, so it works. 'But I've been around for quite some time, which allows me to open some doors, but equally I am happy to step back when it's time for her to take the position. When she's playing, I try to make sure that I'm supportive and she makes sure she's supportive of me. 'I tend to be a 'turntable hog', as she likes to call it. I try to step back and not be as greedy with the decks as I can be.' Roger Sanchez: The Lifelong DJ Keeping the Party Alive After Sunday night's show, Roger will play two more huge sets at the superclub before taking a final bow at Pacha's All Night Long closing weekend on October 12. And the veteran star has no plans to stop spinning the decks any time soon. 'I never gave thought to the expiration date,' Roger says. 'I enjoy the mental gymnastics of trying to think five tracks ahead and reading the dance floor. 'I've never really viewed this as a job. I viewed this as a passion, and I'm fortunate enough that they pay me to do so. 'That being said, I've never said, 'I'll keep doing this until I'm 100.' ' I wouldn't be surprised if he tried. Fly bye, Charli THEY tied the knot over the weekend, but Charli XCX and George Daniel are saving their honeymoon for after their second wedding later this year. Just 24 hours after formally saying their vows at Hackney Town Hall in East London, it was back to work for the Brat summer star. 8 8 My exclusive snaps show the singer being waved off by The 1975 drummer George at Luton Airport's jet terminal as she headed off on a job. Charli looked remarkably fresh-faced after partying with her closest friends and family until the early hours of Sunday following their wedding. But I bet she couldn't wait to grab an extra snooze on her fancy flight. The couple, who got engaged in 2023, will tie the knot again in Sicily later this year. My insiders told me Charli and George have organised a massive blow-out wedding for all of their loved ones. It's the cherry on the cake after an amazing year for the both of them. Miley Spotify gig made into movie MILEY CYRUS'S Billion Club Live concert with Spotify has been made into a film which is available to watch now. During the show, which was recorded in Paris in front of her biggest fans, Miley performs some of her biggest tracks, including Flowers, We Can't Stop and Wrecking Ball, which have all surpassed one billion streams on the download service. Her film is the second to come from Spotify's Billions Club concert series, with the first featuring The Weeknd back in December. Glitz all fab fun ★★★☆☆ IF you're looking for a carbon copy of 2010 film Burlesque, I'm sad to say this West End adaptation might not be for you. But if you head to the Savoy Theatre with an open mind, I can promise you'll come away with a smile on your face, thanks to the camp-as-Christmas production. 8 Jess Folley steals the show as Christina Aguilera's Ali and takes on the difficult musical arrangements with ease. Christina was in the audience for the gala night and told those around her how proud she was of the actress after Jess took her final bow. Todrick Hall, who plays costume designer Sean, has undeniable star power and stage presence, and he's honed his comedic timing to perfection. The costumes and choreography are bold and brash, and the whole show is immediately impressive. At times, it feels like the production has turned from an adaptation of the hit film made popular by Cher and Christina, to a proper labour of love for Todrick, who not only stars but is also the director, choreographer and composer. Prior to the gala night, Todrick axed an hour of the show, which was definitely wise as the running time still stands at a beefy two and a half hours. Burlesque will no doubt divide fans and critics. But if you are willing to take in the beauty and sass of the cast – along with the cheesy jokes – it's guaranteed to lift your spirits. JACK HARDWICK Bieber Justin front in battle for No1 JUSTIN BIEBER is racing towards the No1 spot in the Official Singles Chart tomorrow. But it's going to be a photo finish, with his track Daisies now just 100 units ahead of Dior, by MK ft Chrystal. 8 If Justin, left, makes it to the top, Daisies will be his first No1 since he achieved the feat with Ed Sheeran on their song I Don't Care six years ago. Justin's new album Swag was released last week and has already broken all kinds of records. It is his most streamed project globally and went straight to the top of the charts on both Spotify and Apple Music's album charts in more than 100 countries. Swag is also his most personal album to date and we reckon it's well worth a listen if you've not already downloaded it. Price is right for Madge MADONNA is pushing ahead with her next album, and she wants her fans to know it. The Queen of Pop has been busy in a London studio where she has been working with Stuart Price. The album, Confessions Part 2, is the follow-up to her 2005 record Confessions On A Dance Floor. Madge had huge success with Stuart before, with the pair coming up with hits including Get Together, Jump and Hung Up. And insiders say they have been cooking up even more magic. 'Madonna sounds incredible,' my music mole said. 'She and Stuart are on fire and the songs sound so fresh and fun.' Hurry up and get it finished please, Madge – we're desperate to hear it. Biz Blinds GETTING a gift from your other half can be super-romantic. But when household name Bland Blanked started to woo one of his many glamorous lovers, the object of his affections got more than she bargained for when he popped 'his and hers' bags of cocaine on the table during a date. As it wasn't the kind of bag she might have hoped for, she duly dumped the handsome telly star. The only way is up the nose in Essex, clearly. Abi hides message THE Last Dinner Party's Abigail Morris says a song on new album From The Pyre was inspired by a 'situationship' she was in with another major artist. Speaking in the latest issue of Rolling Stone UK, the star said: 'I've spoken with so many artists who are in relationships with other artists and they use their albums and artwork to offer a secret code to them. 8 'I've done it too. In that song I interpolated a melody from the song of someone I was seeing at the time. 'It's not like I want them to know or the world to know – it's just I know and that's really entertaining to me.' We'll start guessing when it's released on October 17.


The Sun
39 minutes ago
- The Sun
I took a risk & ordered extensions on Shein for half the price… my hair is healthier than ever & they lasted NINE months
A BEAUTY fan has revealed that she took a risk and ordered hair extensions from Shein. Much to her surprise, Kim Fegan Hutchinson was left overjoyed when her Shein purchases arrived and now, nine months later, she is still beaming. 2 2 Not only did Kim nab her hair extensions on the cheap, but she claimed that her locks are healthier than ever now too. Eager to share her honest thoughts on the affordable extensions, Kim, who works in Tesco, took to social media to give her followers a close-up look at her luscious locks, leaving many totally stunned. In the short clip, Kim sat in her car and ran her fingers through her hair, as she penned: 'Update on the Shein tape extensions just because I'm getting new hair put in next week. 'The hair is nine months old and I could easily get 12 months plus from them.' Not only have the extensions, which cost her £80 in total, lasted for months, but even better, they haven't caused any damage to her real hair. She continued: 'My own hair is healthier than ever. 'The best £80 I've ever spent on Shein.' Kim later confirmed that she used three packs of the 9AM hair extensions, in the shade S4. Not only are they great quality, but they're much cheaper than many of the other alternatives on the market. Prices of hair extensions vary largely on the amount and length you decide to have, but Kim's are half the price of average human hair tape extensions, which typically cost around £125 to £150. Ugly side of fashion giant Shein revealed as retailer slammed by rivals for 'unfair tactics' to keep prices low Prior to buying her hair extensions from Shein, Kim splashed the cash on a really posh pair, which on reflection, don't compare to these, as the beauty fan beamed: 'They are way better than my previous ones that I paid £300+ for.' Beauty fans beam The TikTok clip, which was posted under the username @ kimfeganhutchinso, has clearly left many stunned, as in just five days, it has quickly racked up 480,700 views. Not only this, but it's also amassed 16,100 likes, 228 comments and 3,045 saves. Social media users were gobsmacked by the purse-friendly hair extensions and eagerly raced to the comments to express this. One person said: 'They look amazing.' Another added: 'Ah making me excited, just ordered some.' A third commented: 'Look great! Can you curl as you normally would with professional extensions?' To this, Kim replied and confirmed: 'Yes they curl and straighten lovely.' What is Shein and is it legit? Shein is an online-only fast-fashion retailer, based out of China, that has become a number one shopping destination for many around the world. The company was valued at $66billion in 2023, dwarfing that of popular high street brands Zara and H&M. The fashion retailer was founded in late 2008, by entrepreneur and marketing specialist Xu Yangtian, also known as Chris Xu. Shein is a legitimate selling website and is not a phishing scam. But you may receive a disappointing order or run into shipping issues if you order from the site, according to reviews. There have been swathes of quality complaints, which makes sense when looking at the price tag. At the same time, someone else asked: 'Does it damage your hair? I'm thinking of doing extensions but just worried it'll thin it.' In response, Kim explained: 'With these I have very little shedding and because I'm not washing, drying, applying heat etc as often as I would have done without them in, my hair is so much healthier.' And it's not just Kim who is a huge fan of these Shein hair extensions - as many other beauty enthusiasts also shared their rave reviews. One user penned: 'I am wearing 9AM S4 and I get soooo many compliments. Best hair ever.' A second agreed: 'I swear by 9AM. I've tried different types in the same price bracket on Shein and I'll always go back to them and the colour match is brilliant.'


The Sun
39 minutes ago
- The Sun
I know why desperate Meghan and Harry REALLY held peace talks – they'll be begging for handouts now, expert claims
A ROYAL expert has claimed the real reason why Meghan and Harry held peace talks, saying the Duke and Duchess will now be begging for handouts. Journalist and author Robert Jobson made the revealing comments whilst appearing on The Sun's latest Royal Exclusive show. 5 His insights come after it was revealed that the couple's $100million deal with Netflix had been scrapped. Mr Jobson, talking to The Sun's Matt Wilkinson said: 'Well, the deal was always set about $100 million, wasn't it? 'And the talk of that figure sort of blew a lot of people's minds, but I think that was for productions and things that they're supposed to have done. 'Where does it leave them? Probably with a bit of a bowl out, looking for some handouts.' He added: 'Maybe that's why they were over with their staff, were over here having discussions with the King. I don't know. 'The reality is in the past they got support from the King and the late Queen, and they said they were going to go and make their way. 'They've lost Spotify, they've lost Netflix. 'They can't rely on the spare money forever, can they?' The show's other guest, Sky News' royal correspondent Rhiannon Mills also speculated what the Duke and Duchess of Sussex would now do for money. She said: 'It's just fascinating. They have this very expensive lifestyle. 'They have to pay for their security, pay for that big mansion. 'How do you kind of keep the money coming in?' Earlier this month it was revealed Netflix will not renew their contract when it expires in September. The Sussexes and Netflix have mutually decided not to make an official announcement. But streaming execs have quietly agreed to part ways. It comes after Harry's vanity project, Polo, about the sport, was watched by just 500,000 people. It was also understood that bosses were mildly infuriated by Meghan making her As Ever brand a priority. A source said streamer Paramount+ was thought to be keen to work with the couple, who would be open to it if the right project came along. Last month it was announced Netflix had signed a deal with King Charles and Idris Elba for a documentary exploring the impact of the King's Trust. And it was understood any deal with the Sussexes could be seen as a hindrance to that link-up. Netflix declined to comment. Harry is said to have 'given his blessing' for the peace talks involving two of his team plus the King and Queen's director of communications. They spoke about potential ways to end their family conflict, though a proposal for Harry to make a royal return was not on the agenda. Adding intrigue to the developments, Prince William's team were not involved in the London summit. California-based Harry is next due to visit the UK in September for the annual WellChild events. It opens up the prospect of meeting his father for the first time in 18 months. Buckingham Palace had also supported the proposals to 'open a channel of communication' — it has been claimed. 5 5