Outsourcing Emotional Intelligence: The Tools We've Built Aren't The Tools We Need
So, what's my point?
I recently had a conversation with a friend. She was frustrated at work. Apparently, since the advent of A.I. all communications she received from her supervisor were written by A.I. 'At first, I didn't care,' my friend told me. 'But, I just celebrated my twenty-year anniversary at the company. The recognition email I received from my boss was not sincere at all. It was obviously written by A.I.'
Think about the difference between employee recognition and employee appreciation. Recognition is an action taken by a boss. Appreciation is an emotion felt by a boss. Both are necessary.
So, what was actually frustrating my friend? Her manager outsourced emotional intelligence to A.I.
Curious about the present and future of humankind's emotional intelligence, I decided to seek answers from an expert.
CEO and Co-Founder of Six Seconds Joshua Freedman
'A.I. is already having an impact on emotional intelligence,' said Joshua Freedman, one of the world's top thought-leaders, and bestselling authors, on the concept of emotional intelligence. 'Every big tech advancement has created a huge impact on our social and emotional wellbeing. Of course, the impact changes depending on how we use the technology.'
'What made you chase the concept of emotional intelligence?' I asked Freedman on our recent video chat.
Without hesitation, Freedman smiled, and responded, 'I was bad at it.' He then told me how he had spent his early career as a teacher. 'My 13 year old students seemed more emotionally intelligent than I was. As I started learning and practicing, I found it made all the difference for me, first as a teacher, then as a leader, husband, father, and person.'
Fast forward to today, Joshua Freedman is the co-founder and CEO of Six Seconds, the global non-profit dedicated to teaching people how to use emotional intelligence (EQ). He owns the million-member EQ Network group on LinkedIN, and is a master certified coach. He teaches professionals all around the world practical tools to measure and create value with emotional intelligence.
'You've created quite the impact since you realized you needed to improve and understand your own emotional intelligence,' I told Freedman. 'You've helped organizations like FedEx, Qatar Airways, the US Navy, P&G, Microsoft, Intel, Amazon, HSBC, and the United Nations, use emotional intelligence to improve results. That's quite a list.'
Again, Freedman smiled. 'It's so far beyond what I imagined 28 years ago,' he replied. 'I feel deeply honored to see the difference this makes in companies and in people's lives. Six Seconds' practical tools and science take emotional intelligence to the next level. When people practice emotional intelligence they improve their outcomes -- you can feel it, and you can measure it. That's why we do this. It's transformational.'
Then, Freedman, a man who loves to laugh, paused. His face turned serious. 'The issue is, our data from 169 countries shows that the world is in a five-year decline of E.Q. Over that time-period, optimism dropped by 8.6%. And, for younger generations, the decline is nearly double that. I could go on with other markers. But, in short: we're in a global emotional recession with sustained declines in our capacity to connect, adapt, and move ahead.'
That last statement caught my attention. A global emotional recession is a scary thought. And, it's no surprise. For the past couple years I've written numerous posts about the record-high increases in anxiety, depression, and even suicide. That matches Six Seconds' research on global emotional intelligence: rising levels of burnout, declines in empathy, trust, motivation, and increased loneliness. A perfect storm that is battering our wellbeing.
'Is A.I. contributing to this recession?' I asked.
'We're already outsourcing so much of our thinking, and even our feelings, to machines. That's only advancing. I don't think it helps to point fingers, but let's be strategic about this: As A.I. grows, we also need to grow. That's why I decided to write my new book, Emotion Rules – a practical guide to using feelings as resources. The real question is, how do we continue to improve our skills with emotions, and help others improve their emotional intelligence?'
He's right. So, I asked him, 'What advice would you give individuals or leaders who want to improve emotional intelligence for themselves, their teams, or for their organizational culture?'
'You get what you measure,' replied Freedman. 'Many leaders overly rely on traditional intelligence, or I.Q., yet now machines have higher I.Q. than most people. We need to shift our focus to Emotional Intelligence (E.Q.) The great news is that E.Q. and I.Q. can work together so we can see and solve the challenges we're facing. I work with a lot of very smart people, and when they take the emotional intelligence assessment and see that EQ is actually logical, measurable, and practical, they love it.'
According to Six Seconds, here's how practice emotional intelligence:
Step 1: Get the Data
'Notice emotions. Name emotions. Track emotional reactions to every aspect of your life, work, relationships,' says Freedman. 'Smart people love data, and companies collect tons of it. We're also suggesting including data about your emotions, your employees emotions, or even your customers emotions. Literally, you're simply collecting emotional data. You felt something. What was it? What do you call it? How did you react to it?'
Step 2: Appraise the Data
'You recorded the data on what you felt and how you reacted,' said Freedman. 'Now your job is to assess it. How did it go? Did you like your reaction and the response you got from others? What other options could you choose? We don't get to choose what happens, but we choose how we respond to it. This is about switching off autopilot and making that response more intentional.'
Step 3: Connect with Purpose
'You've collected and analyzed the data,' said Freedman. 'The final step is connecting with your purpose. What is the impact you really want to have? The point is, we're having an impact every day, and when we use our emotional intelligence, we can make that impact count. It's not easy being human. It's not easy having emotions. But, when we can understand and process them, emotions can actually help us become the best spouse, the best parent, the best friend, employee, leader we can be. When used well, emotions literally give us energy to change, grow and thrive.'
As we concluded our conversation, I circled back to my friend's story. 'Any advice for my friend?' I asked.
'Her feelings matter. They're messages to help her navigate a difficult situation. Now she can use emotional intelligence to move forward.'
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